Wundindlinyg Episode 6

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by MrXarvox, Jul 29, 2002.

  1. MrXarvox The Prettiest Man Alive

    And now, episode six!

    Wundindlinyg Episode 6: Can he do that?

    SCENE 1: The bilge level of the Big Exodus Ship. It isn't necessary for a space ship to have one, but the Wundindlinygs thought it sounded like a cool place to put Kebletangoshim and all of his aquatic plant friends. Kebletangoshim is having a conversation with Weldleiwengien.

    Kebletangoshim: So you say you can get me a fluorescent light bulb? This would be lovely for my plants, given that there are no lights on the bilge level and my friends must photosynthesize.

    Weldleiwengien: I can indeed procure for you this item. But you must do a task for me.

    Kebletangoshim: What is this task you ask? Shall I get you a mask? Or a flask?

    Weldleiwengien: Actually, I was thinking of you getting me a cask.

    Kebletangoshim: Describe this cask.

    Weldleiwengien: You will know when you have found it. It is a glorious cask.

    Kebletangoshim: Then where do I find the cask?

    Weldleiwengien: In the main fuel cell of the ship is where you will find the cask.

    Kebletangoshim: Why exactly are we ending all of our lines with the word "cask"?

    Weldleiwengien. Because I have made it so that we end all of our lines with "cask"!

    Kebletangoshim: In that case, I have to go fetch your cask.

    Weldleiwengien: Yes, do that! HAHAHAHAHahahaHAhAhAhHAHahaHAHAahahAhHA cask!

    <Kebletangoshim slithers out and Weldleiwengien fades into the shadows.

    Weldleiwengien: I'll be waiting…cask

    SCENE 2: Outside the Big Exodus Ship. Some alien Wundindlinygs are flying around in their Flying Teacup (they couldn't find a saucer so they used the next best thing), and are about to spot the Big Exodus Ship.

    Yzivizztigizz: I sense a great disturbance on the radar screen.

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: I know exactly how you feel. It is as if a bazillion voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

    Yzivizztigizz: A bazillion? That many?

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: Yes. What, did you think I was talking about some tiny little underpopulated wussy planet like Alderaan?

    Yzivizztigizz: What? What the parp are you talking about?

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: Forget it. Apparently you cannot comprehend the famous science fiction movie that I am referring to.

    Yzivizztigizz: Yeah. You make a lot of sense. Anyway, take a look at the radar screen. It seems we have come upon a moon or a large asteroid.

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: <looks out the window of the Flying Teacup> That's not a moon! That's a space station!

    Yzivizztigizz: That was unnecessary.

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: So what if it isn't a space station. It is a space ship.

    Yzivizztigizz: Yes, and we are about to collide with it. We must get to the escape pod.

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: No! I will not leave behind my Star Wars™ corrugated cardboard stand-up figures! I will not leave behind my Star Wars™ official plastic Light Saber™! I will not leave…

    <Yzivizztigizz is long-gone and has jettisoned himself from the Flying Teacup>

    Fizzipizzispizzilitnfrog: my piece of paper where I drew a really cool picture of an X-wing™…

    <The Flying Teacup collides with the Big Exodus Ship's shields and explodes. Boom, it goes, regardless of the fact that there is no sound in space>

    SCENE 3: The Big Exodus Ship, Contest level. The Wundindlinygs are having a lying contest.
    Slahgrumpacious entered the contest calling himself "Cheryl" and used a fake ID with the name "Helmut Schwartzhammer"; and thus is winning, even against Cricziricziric, who has subtly suggested that he might be either forty years old or a hamster of prodigious proportions. Yzivizzitigizz bursts in with his laser gun, having just landed in the Big Exodus Ship's docking bay.

    Yzivizzitigizz: Yo. I come in peace.

    Rashplataglium: Aaaargh! Alien invader! I must hide so that at the end of the episode I can tell everyone that when someone comes into your lying contest with a laser gun and says "I come in peace" you should run and hide!

    Cricziricziric: You'd better be afraid, alien man. I am six hundred feet tall and live in an upturned soda can where I keep my pet alligator and his friend, whose name is Rusty.

    George Dubya Bush: This show don't make any sense.

    Rashplataglium: I agree.

    <A weight falls on both Rahsplataglium and Dubya>

    Slahgrumpacious: I did not enjoy that. HAHAHAhahaha that was the best lie I've ever told. Now, to steal the Filthy Stinking Liar Cask and abscond with it! I have won it fair and square, of course.

    Yzivizzitigizz: What?

    Cricziricziric: Exactly. And since you couldn't figure it out, you have to pay the fine of a hundred interesting objects or I'm afraid we will have to force you to fight with the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots™!

    Yzivizztigizz: But I've only got three thousand!

    Cricziricziric: Then I am afraid it will be the robots.

    <Three old and battered Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots™ roll out of a box and promptly fall over. The official winner bell sounds>

    Cricziricziric: And now you aren't the winner! Hah!

    <five more points rack up on the board for Cricziricziric.>

    Slahgrumpacious: Hahahahahahahaha! It isn't mine now! I haven't stolen the Filthy Stinking Liar Cask!

    <Slahgrumpacious carries off the Filthy Stinking Liar Cask as ten more points are added to his score>

    Yzivizztigizz: I am confused.

    Rashplataglium: Aren't we all.

    <Another weight falls on Rashplataglium>

    Almighty Writer: You stay under there till I tell you that you can get up, ye daft fool!

    SCENE 4: The fuel chamber of the ship. Kebletangoshim is skulking around, looking for the "glorious cask".

    Kebletangoshim: <muttering> I see no glorious cask here. Stupid cask.

    <Kebletangoshim walks past a cell with a neon sign that says "main fuel cell" on it>

    Weldleiwengien: I suppose this is what comes of having seaweed for a brain.

    Kebletangoshim: Who said that?

    Weldleiwengien: I did.

    Kebletangoshim: I thought you were waiting.

    Weldleiwengien: You took too long. Gad, the thing's got a bloody neon sign on it!

    Kebletangoshim: Does it? I didn't notice.

    Weldleiwengien: Well, while you were slinking about not noticing the sign, all the other Wundindlinygs took the cask, named it the Filthy Stinking Liar Cask, and had a lying contest to see who gets it. Now, Slahgrumpacious has made off with it. You get no fluorescent light bulb.

    Kebletangoshim: Fine. I already have four of them.

    Siezuriesizesosize: Nope. I stole them. I plugs them in and now, see them blink!

    Kebletangoshim: Where'd you come fr-

    <Siezuriesizesosize plugs in the bulbs and Kebletangoshim has a seizure while Weldleiwengien simply covers his eyes and leaves>

    And now, Rashplataglium Spouts off!

    Rashplataglium: Truly, I don't know what's happening to these episodes these days. They just keep getting sillier and sillier. And less and less conclusive. I mean, did this episode really end? Was there any closure with the alien issue? How does the writer live with himself, writing such junk and posting it on the internet? Oh yes, and how IS one to react when an alien wielding a laser gun comes bounding into your lying contest and says he comes in peace? The answers to these questions and more in the next installment of Wundindlinyg!
    What? Did I say that?
    It was the writer, wasn't it? Saying that the questions would be answered! I know he'll just spout off nonsense! Nonsense I tell you! NONSENSE!

    Rashplataglium: I like nonsense. Nonsense is good. Nonsense if fun fun fun and I enjoy it and laugh ha ha ha. And the writer is a god. Really. He has big shiny wings and can smite anyone he wants.

    Rashplataglium: And he has a mind-control device.

    <Rashplataglium is wearing an aluminum-foil helmet with an antenna sticking out of it>

    Rashplataglium: Which I am not currently under the control of. No-sir-ee-bob. All Hail the great writer of Wundindlinyg, Mr. Xarvox aka Mazzak Dy'vaijano aka Matt!

    The End

    …..To be continued if I feel like it

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