Why M:TG is Better than Sex:

[Killer Joe]

From: scoons@blue.weeg.uiowa.edu (S. Coons)

10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.

9. A game of Magic can last for hours.

8. You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.

7. Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.

6. Good sex can cost you $1000, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $250.

5. You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.

4. A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.

3. Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.

2. You can always find someone to play Magic with you.

1. An eight second game of Magic is good!

 

[Ransac]

10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.
-Aw... you're no fun.

9. A game of Magic can last for hours.
As does sex. I don't see the issue here.

8. You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.
You've never heard of twins?!

7. Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.
That depends on which sleeves you buy...

6. Good sex can cost you $1000, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $250.
Starcitygames.com has Unlimited Black Lotuses priced between $1000-$1250. You find me one for $250 and I'll crap my pants... on command.

5. You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.
Perhaps not, but I can pretty much control the situation anyway.

4. A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.
......you haven't played multiplayer magic, have you? And last I checked, when your partner is done during sex, that's pretty much it.

3. Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.
That's true, but they DO ask me that question after I trounce them thoroughly with a creatureless deck.

2. You can always find someone to play Magic with you.
That's not true. It's hard to find someone playing Magic during my schedule.... between all of the sex....

1. An eight second game of Magic is good!
No it's not. What the point in playing if it's that short?









Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

That's not true. It's hard to find someone playing Magic during my schedule.... between all of the sex....

You poor thing.

 

[train]

10. You don't have to cuddle after a game of Magic.
- But I thought that went into effect the same time as the Paris Mulligan

9. A game of Magic can last for hours.
Unless it is interrupted by a game of Settlers

8. You can Clone a Shivan Dragon but try that with your partner.
Or just face the fact that they look the same in the dark...

7. Protective card sleeves are easier to put on than condoms.
but which is more dangerous without protection?

6. Good sex can cost you $1000, but a Black Lotus will only cost you $250.
but which one can be written off as a business entertainment expense?

5. You can Control Magic a Shivan Dragon, try THAT with your partner.
before or after they are placed in handcuffs?

4. A game of magic ALWAYS ends simultaneously.
but wouldn't it be better to end first?

3. Your opponent won't ask you if you'll still respect them in the morning.
But you should let them know you won't if they are playing blue...

2. You can always find someone to play Magic with you.
not when they are trying to do something else to you for $1000...

1. An eight second game of Magic is good!
unless your ride to lunch sits down across from a stall deck at regionals...

 

[Oversoul]

And last I checked, when your partner is done during sex, that's pretty much it.

Only if it's consensual...