Where're a ways off from Election 2008, but...

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
I just wanted to remind everyone that, in the midst of the presidential hopefuls fighting it out within parties to become the leader of the free world, you need not fret. Remember that I, Ransac, have already won the primaries on the Primate Ticket (held shortly after the prior election) and am in full swing campaigning with my running mate, Monkey, for our bid to the White House.

I have graced this wonderful site with Q&A sessions from time to time, but now I wish to respond to your ANSWERS: WHAT do you believe to be an important issue that our party should focus on? With your answers, I shall respond by declaring my party's stance on your concerns and how we plan to approach them.

*Monkey throws poo at Spiderman.*

..................... he does that from time to time.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
** Thanks for Spiderman's spider sense, he easily dodges it. Unfortunately, he inadvertantly views Monkey's song and dance

Gaaaah!
 
Mooseman

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
Candidate Ransac, What is your stance on Primate-Amphibian marriage?
What about the War in the Trees?
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
VERY GOOD QUESTIONS!!!!!

On Primate-Amphibian Marriage: Not only are these animals out of eachother's SPECIES, but Genus, Family, Order, and CLASS. Think of potential offspring from these marriages! THEY'D BE FREAKS! They'd be prime targets for monkeys to fling poo at! So, of course this is a great idea! If monkeys wanna mate with frogs, let them! Of course, I'd create an amendment that'd prohibit them from running for or holding an office, but it'd provide HOURS of fun and entertainment for my party's focus.

The War in the Trees: *sigh* This issue has been a heavy burden in my heart. Those brave poo-flingers holding their own up there against... the other poo-flingers. People have demanded that we bring them back down. Others claim that we're doing good for the trees by being there........... I say let's eat bananas!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next?


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Mooseman

Mooseman

Isengar Tussle
What of this Angel Army?..... Are you being defamed by the Fox?
What is your solution to the scandals with the Banana Republicans?
Are you getting support and funding from NPR (National Primate Radio)?
Melkor seems to have harsh words for you, is he with the Fox?
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
What of this Angel Army?.....

The Angel Army is a concept of mine. We replace all of our armies with the ghosts of fallen soldiers that made it to heaven. They have wings and swords. It'd look REALLY cool. :D


Are you being defamed by the Fox?

I was only made aware of "The Fox" by my intelligence recently. Apparently, the Fox is a possible radical "Jihad Party" candidate. He smells of bacon and wet poo and holds the world record for eating babies.... according to my intelligence, anyway.

What is your solution to the scandals with the Banana Republicans?
These scandal are simply scandalous! Senators Timonkey Furble and Chimpmy McGee have been reprimanded and they have assured me that after they finish flinging their poop, they will turn in their resignation. This is a horrible day in the history of Monkey Politics.... which is why I shall fight to have this removed from the history books.


Are you getting support and funding from NPR (National Primate Radio)?
Indeed I am! NPR is a wonderful contributor to my campaign. Not many realize this, but I used to be a reporter for NPR, with my weekly reports on the amount of lice found in the Banana Depository.


Melkor seems to have harsh words for you, is he with the Fox?
I believe he is. He is the Fox's dietician.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
My point exactly. If they can't fling poo well, then they have no place in politics where you must be proficient in slinging "mud" (though it's really poo).


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
Oversoul

Oversoul

The Tentacled One
I didn't say they can't throw poo well. I said that, as far as I know, they do not make a practice of throwing poo. They're more into catching prey with their tentacles and rendering it to bits with their powerful beaks. I don't want to be that rendered to bits, so I will not mess with the cephalopods.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Perhaps, but if they can't or don't fling poo, then I need not say anything else. The cephalopods are obviously not fit for office.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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