Whenever I play solitaire I play for world peace. Cuz otherwise it's a meaningless waste of time and I hate to waste my time. So I up the stakes. Make it interesting. Every move I make can be the difference between global harmony and nuclear annihilation. The fate of all mankind hinges on whether I go with the seven of spades or the jack of hearts. It's very intense. I sit there for hours sometimes planning my strategy. I have meetings with imaginary generals and military advisors. I take lengthy breaks to the patio, or, as I like to call it, Camp David. I can't tell you how many times I've blown up the world. It really pisses me off. I mean, not to sound like Miss America or nothing, but I'm all about the world peace. And when those cards fall into place and I disarm all them nukes and establish the Pax Tatsuya and usher in the Golden Age of Peace and Prosperity, I rejoice with all humanity and then move on to Minesweeper. Which, of course, I play for the rain forests.