D
DÛke
Guest
Warning: this "thing" is just a joke. It may contain unbelievingly false information, wrong facts, and deluded opinions. Not many subjects were harmed in the making of this...whatever you want to call it.
Begin:
The room was dark. It was lightless, other than that candle in the middle of the old wooden table.
Gerard and Hanna sat, wandering throughout the old tomes Hanna had managed to gather throughout the times. They were looking for something. The problem is, they didn't know what they were looking for. It was probably going to take sometime to figure out why they were looking into these old, rusty, dusty tomes.
Hanna: Gerard, HERE! <Pointing at an old picture inside a tome>
Gerard: You FINALLY know what we're looking for? Did you find it? <Over excited>
Hanna: Nooo, you silly! Here's a picture of Takara! <Picks the picture and hands it to Gerard>
Gerard: Who, Volrath? <Sighs>
Hanna: No, Takara!
Gerard: Are you sure it's Takara in that picture? <Recalling memories when Takara was unmasked>
Hanna: Why, she looks like Takara...
Gerard: Whatever...Let's look for whatever we're looking for, aok?
It was silent again. The only sound was made by...nothing. Now that I think of it, there was no sound.
Hanna: Say, Gerard...<While wandering through Mercadian Atlas>
Gerard: Yeah? <While reading 7th edition rule book>
Hanna: Whatever happened to that Neo dude...from The Matrix?
Gerard: Neo who? <While reading something from the rulebook. He was frightened: RULE CHANGE!>
Hanna: That guy that wanted to kick your butt in the last story...
Gerard: Oh, NEO! I don't know...I shot some Magic cards at him, and---
Hanna: Yeah?
Gerard: Well, he got injured, and the X-Men took it from there...
Hanna: Did you meet any of the X-Men? They're my favorite...
Gerard: No. <All right, he was sweating! What did they do to Magic in 7th!>
Hanna: Say, here's a picture of Neo...
Gerard: That's not Neo...<While tossing the rulebook into the ground…he was ashamed of the new rules>
Hanna: But he looks like Neo! <Reassuring…actually, enforcing>
Gerard: Let me see that picture...<whipping the sweat>
Gerard takes that picture and examines it closely...
Gerard: Why, that's Hunt...
Hanna: Hunt? <Surprised (to an extent)>
Gerard: You know, from Mission Impossible 2...
Hanna: Oh, Tom Cruise?
Gerard: Yeah! <Laying the picture on the table>
Hanna: OH MY GOD! HE IS soooo my favorite, ah!
Gerard: Calm down…<A sign of jealousy claims his face>
Hanna: Do you think you can kick his butt?
Gerard: Why, yes, yes...sure...<hesitating. He didn’t think he could>
Hanna: Rieeeeeeeght...
Gerard: Are you saying' that I'm weak? <Paranoid>
Hanna: No, no. I'm just saying that---
Gerard interrupted Hanna...
Gerard: OK! THAT IS IT! I'll find Hunt and kick his thing, just to show you how cool I am!
Hanna: OK! I dare you! <Getting excited. She loved seeing fights, especially when they’re about her>
Gerard: Very well...<wondering if Hanna thought the fight is going to be about her>
Gerard wandered around the room for second, and looked to the ceiling...He seemed anxious…
Gerard: Duke?
DÛke: Um, yeah? By the way, it’s “DÛke” with a “Û”…
Gerard: Whatever…since you is writing this thing, could you, like skip me to the part where I find Hunt?
DÛke: Why? Can't your Weatherlightean spirit handle the real thing?
Gerard: No, I just wanted to jump into conclusion...
DÛke: Um, ok, whatever...OK, get ready, because HERE IS...HUNT!
Suddenly, the place turns into Sydney, Australia...Where Hunt fought his nemesis or whatever in MI: 2.
Gerard: Hunt? You there? <Looking around in this desert-like place>
Hunt: Yeap...you got something' to say to me? <Coming out of nowhere>
Gerard: Yes! You little stupid earthling, as a matter of fact, I DO!
Hunt: Yeah? Well what? I don't have time for little kids now...
Gerard: Who you callin' "kid"?
Hunt: Um, you...who did you think? Stupid son of a---
Gerard: All RIGHT! Let's fight!
Gerard rolls his sleeves up and assumes an offensive position...
Hunt does the same thing, but with more coolness.
Gerard takes a swing at Hunt, but something weird was happening. Gerard's punch seemed to be taken forever to reach Hunt's jaw! They were in slow motion! Not only that, but the ground was spinning in a 360 degrees motion! It looked like it was a cut seen off The Matrix.
Gerard: why are in slow motion?
Hunt: I don't know! I think---
Hunt was interrupted by the sound of gunshots coming from the background.
Gerard: What's that?
Hunt: DUDE! You're punch is still nowhere near my face!
Gerard: Did you hear that?
Hunt: Gunshots? Yeah!
And just as Hunt said "Yeah", a dark figure appeared next to them…OUT of nowhere.
Gerard: Neo!
Hunt: Neo?
Neo: Neo.
Gerard: That's why were in slow motion! Because of the presence of The Matrix in this story!
Hunt: Who, who, who the heck is Neo?
Neo: I'm a super powerful son of a <pausing for a second> son of a…gun…
The slow motion and the rotation stops as the three rivals meet each other.
Hunt: Sooooo, you're the "dodge master " Neo, eh?
Neo: Yeah! Let me guess, you're the "untouchable" Hunt?
Hunt: Yes. I could kick your butt any day of the week.
Gerard: What about me? Is anyone going to ask me if I'm the "Weatherlight's person" or something?
Neo and Hunt look at Gerard for a second…
Hunt: Shut the heck up! Why don't you use on of your little power stones or whatever to disappear back to where the hell you came from? Phxyria or Dnamario or Mario Land or whatever...<shuddering>
Gerard: All right, BE LIKE THAT! I'll just tell Hanna that you both are too afraid to challenge me...
Neo: Boy, who you jivin'!
Hunt; Who's afraid? Me?
Gerard: Yes, both of you are afraid! Who wants to fight ME, the master of arms!
Hunt: I read the last story, and you already fought Neo, so why don’t you fight me first?
Gerard: Ok…and Neo, you’re next!
Neo: I’ll be waiting.
Gerard and Hunt assumed the fighting position…Gerard swung a punch, Hunt ducked, dodging the slow punch.
Neo: You know, that’s going to be boring…so why don’t you guys, like, use The Matrix or something?
Gerard: Yeah, let’s use The Matrix, Hunt?
By the time Gerard finished his (stupid) question, Hunt had already punched him in the jaw, sending Gerard all the way back to the Weatherlight!
Hunt: That was easy. <Dusting himself off>
Neo: Well, since we got rid of that Magic freak…I’m going home to play with my laptop some more…
Hunt: Wait, wait…don’t you want to duke it out? <Jumping up and down, pumping himself for a fight>
Neo: Oh, so you wanna test me…you have no chance against my super powers…<non-humbled>
Hunt: Why not? I survived Mission Impossible and Mission Impossible 2…
Neo: So what? The Matrix is a greater mission by itself…
Hunt: Yeah? Well how come there’s no sequel?
Neo: Actually, there’s one coming out soon…
Hunt: Yeah, but there isn’t any right now…
Neo: SO WHAT!
Hunt: Well, whatever…I can climb mountains without even using any artificial means!
Neo: So what? I could dodge bullets…
Hunt: Yeah, well, if you were smart like me, you wouldn’t be SHOT at - to dodge no bullets, boy…
Neo: Well, if you have to fight agents like the ones from MY movie, you’d know what it feels like!
Hunt: Not really….I’d be wearing one of them masks I used in MI:2. They’d be fooled like foolish fools.
Neo: Um, they’re computerized Agents…They could see a mask…
Hunt: Yeah…sure…can you see a mask?
Neo: Why, yes!
Hunt: Then how come you’re not seeing me?
Neo: Huh?
Hunt: I’m wearing a mask foo’!
Neo: What!
<At this point, I (DÛke) open Napster, since I’m (DÛke) getting tired of this non-sense. I (DÛke) then starts downloading an Enigma song…>…Back to the story…
Hunt lifts the mask slowly only to reveal a face Neo didn’t recognize! It was Unmask all over again!
Neo: Who are you? <Not surprised, or shocked, just feature-less, dull expression>
Unmasked person: Volrath! <Screaming like he was the popular or something>
Neo: Volrath? Gerard brother/sister/mom/dad or whatever?
Volrath: YES! <Egocentrically>
Neo: You just love wearing them masks eh?
Volrath: Yep! I have fooled you! You said you could know a masked person…
Neo: I know a masked PERSON, not a masked animal…
Volrath: Are you implying that I’m an animal?
Neo: Well, yeah! That’s why your creature type in your card is not identified…
Volrath: I’m a Legend…
Neo: A what legend? Human Legend? Wizard Legend? He/she Legend? ANIMAL Legend?
Volrath: Do you really care! I’m here for one reason…
Neo: …and that is?
Volrath: This IS Sydney, Australia, right?
Neo: I guess…Duke, are we in Sydney? <Asking the person writing this>
DÛke: YEAH! Stop interrupting the story, OK! AND IT’S “DÛke” for Britney Spears’ sake!
Neo mumbles an unknown, Matrix-ian language…
Neo: Yep, we’re there…or here…or...um, whatever…
Volrath: Well, there’s a wizard’s academy in here…they have a ship of my desire…
Neo: A ship?
Volrath: It’s called Black Bird.
Neo: Na ah! Not X-Men’s Black Bird?
Volrath: Yeah, I guess.
Neo: I had my eye on that ship ever since I became a freak of The Matrix…I want it myself!
Volrath: I command you to get me that ship…NOW!
Neo: And if NOT? What’re you gonna do…DISCARD a creature so you gain +X/+X? Huh!
Volrath: No. I will make you feel the pain! I control your spine!
Neo: Oh, it’s the “spine” thing…well, bad news: I’m not Greven.
Volrath: Oh, I forgot…
Neo: Ok, let’s work together as a team and steal the Black Bird, ok?
Volrath: Ok…
DÛke mumbles some unknown curse words in French, and looks at the story he just made up. Ok, time to save, copy, and paste this thing…
DÛke: I’ll continue this story in a short while. <Still mumbling unknown French words>
Neo: Come back soon! <Hoping that DÛke never comes back>
Volrath: Yeah, I want that Black Bird…<wondering if he should rename Black Bird into “Bradatar”>
DÛke: Good for you guys…bye…
Begin:
The room was dark. It was lightless, other than that candle in the middle of the old wooden table.
Gerard and Hanna sat, wandering throughout the old tomes Hanna had managed to gather throughout the times. They were looking for something. The problem is, they didn't know what they were looking for. It was probably going to take sometime to figure out why they were looking into these old, rusty, dusty tomes.
Hanna: Gerard, HERE! <Pointing at an old picture inside a tome>
Gerard: You FINALLY know what we're looking for? Did you find it? <Over excited>
Hanna: Nooo, you silly! Here's a picture of Takara! <Picks the picture and hands it to Gerard>
Gerard: Who, Volrath? <Sighs>
Hanna: No, Takara!
Gerard: Are you sure it's Takara in that picture? <Recalling memories when Takara was unmasked>
Hanna: Why, she looks like Takara...
Gerard: Whatever...Let's look for whatever we're looking for, aok?
It was silent again. The only sound was made by...nothing. Now that I think of it, there was no sound.
Hanna: Say, Gerard...<While wandering through Mercadian Atlas>
Gerard: Yeah? <While reading 7th edition rule book>
Hanna: Whatever happened to that Neo dude...from The Matrix?
Gerard: Neo who? <While reading something from the rulebook. He was frightened: RULE CHANGE!>
Hanna: That guy that wanted to kick your butt in the last story...
Gerard: Oh, NEO! I don't know...I shot some Magic cards at him, and---
Hanna: Yeah?
Gerard: Well, he got injured, and the X-Men took it from there...
Hanna: Did you meet any of the X-Men? They're my favorite...
Gerard: No. <All right, he was sweating! What did they do to Magic in 7th!>
Hanna: Say, here's a picture of Neo...
Gerard: That's not Neo...<While tossing the rulebook into the ground…he was ashamed of the new rules>
Hanna: But he looks like Neo! <Reassuring…actually, enforcing>
Gerard: Let me see that picture...<whipping the sweat>
Gerard takes that picture and examines it closely...
Gerard: Why, that's Hunt...
Hanna: Hunt? <Surprised (to an extent)>
Gerard: You know, from Mission Impossible 2...
Hanna: Oh, Tom Cruise?
Gerard: Yeah! <Laying the picture on the table>
Hanna: OH MY GOD! HE IS soooo my favorite, ah!
Gerard: Calm down…<A sign of jealousy claims his face>
Hanna: Do you think you can kick his butt?
Gerard: Why, yes, yes...sure...<hesitating. He didn’t think he could>
Hanna: Rieeeeeeeght...
Gerard: Are you saying' that I'm weak? <Paranoid>
Hanna: No, no. I'm just saying that---
Gerard interrupted Hanna...
Gerard: OK! THAT IS IT! I'll find Hunt and kick his thing, just to show you how cool I am!
Hanna: OK! I dare you! <Getting excited. She loved seeing fights, especially when they’re about her>
Gerard: Very well...<wondering if Hanna thought the fight is going to be about her>
Gerard wandered around the room for second, and looked to the ceiling...He seemed anxious…
Gerard: Duke?
DÛke: Um, yeah? By the way, it’s “DÛke” with a “Û”…
Gerard: Whatever…since you is writing this thing, could you, like skip me to the part where I find Hunt?
DÛke: Why? Can't your Weatherlightean spirit handle the real thing?
Gerard: No, I just wanted to jump into conclusion...
DÛke: Um, ok, whatever...OK, get ready, because HERE IS...HUNT!
Suddenly, the place turns into Sydney, Australia...Where Hunt fought his nemesis or whatever in MI: 2.
Gerard: Hunt? You there? <Looking around in this desert-like place>
Hunt: Yeap...you got something' to say to me? <Coming out of nowhere>
Gerard: Yes! You little stupid earthling, as a matter of fact, I DO!
Hunt: Yeah? Well what? I don't have time for little kids now...
Gerard: Who you callin' "kid"?
Hunt: Um, you...who did you think? Stupid son of a---
Gerard: All RIGHT! Let's fight!
Gerard rolls his sleeves up and assumes an offensive position...
Hunt does the same thing, but with more coolness.
Gerard takes a swing at Hunt, but something weird was happening. Gerard's punch seemed to be taken forever to reach Hunt's jaw! They were in slow motion! Not only that, but the ground was spinning in a 360 degrees motion! It looked like it was a cut seen off The Matrix.
Gerard: why are in slow motion?
Hunt: I don't know! I think---
Hunt was interrupted by the sound of gunshots coming from the background.
Gerard: What's that?
Hunt: DUDE! You're punch is still nowhere near my face!
Gerard: Did you hear that?
Hunt: Gunshots? Yeah!
And just as Hunt said "Yeah", a dark figure appeared next to them…OUT of nowhere.
Gerard: Neo!
Hunt: Neo?
Neo: Neo.
Gerard: That's why were in slow motion! Because of the presence of The Matrix in this story!
Hunt: Who, who, who the heck is Neo?
Neo: I'm a super powerful son of a <pausing for a second> son of a…gun…
The slow motion and the rotation stops as the three rivals meet each other.
Hunt: Sooooo, you're the "dodge master " Neo, eh?
Neo: Yeah! Let me guess, you're the "untouchable" Hunt?
Hunt: Yes. I could kick your butt any day of the week.
Gerard: What about me? Is anyone going to ask me if I'm the "Weatherlight's person" or something?
Neo and Hunt look at Gerard for a second…
Hunt: Shut the heck up! Why don't you use on of your little power stones or whatever to disappear back to where the hell you came from? Phxyria or Dnamario or Mario Land or whatever...<shuddering>
Gerard: All right, BE LIKE THAT! I'll just tell Hanna that you both are too afraid to challenge me...
Neo: Boy, who you jivin'!
Hunt; Who's afraid? Me?
Gerard: Yes, both of you are afraid! Who wants to fight ME, the master of arms!
Hunt: I read the last story, and you already fought Neo, so why don’t you fight me first?
Gerard: Ok…and Neo, you’re next!
Neo: I’ll be waiting.
Gerard and Hunt assumed the fighting position…Gerard swung a punch, Hunt ducked, dodging the slow punch.
Neo: You know, that’s going to be boring…so why don’t you guys, like, use The Matrix or something?
Gerard: Yeah, let’s use The Matrix, Hunt?
By the time Gerard finished his (stupid) question, Hunt had already punched him in the jaw, sending Gerard all the way back to the Weatherlight!
Hunt: That was easy. <Dusting himself off>
Neo: Well, since we got rid of that Magic freak…I’m going home to play with my laptop some more…
Hunt: Wait, wait…don’t you want to duke it out? <Jumping up and down, pumping himself for a fight>
Neo: Oh, so you wanna test me…you have no chance against my super powers…<non-humbled>
Hunt: Why not? I survived Mission Impossible and Mission Impossible 2…
Neo: So what? The Matrix is a greater mission by itself…
Hunt: Yeah? Well how come there’s no sequel?
Neo: Actually, there’s one coming out soon…
Hunt: Yeah, but there isn’t any right now…
Neo: SO WHAT!
Hunt: Well, whatever…I can climb mountains without even using any artificial means!
Neo: So what? I could dodge bullets…
Hunt: Yeah, well, if you were smart like me, you wouldn’t be SHOT at - to dodge no bullets, boy…
Neo: Well, if you have to fight agents like the ones from MY movie, you’d know what it feels like!
Hunt: Not really….I’d be wearing one of them masks I used in MI:2. They’d be fooled like foolish fools.
Neo: Um, they’re computerized Agents…They could see a mask…
Hunt: Yeah…sure…can you see a mask?
Neo: Why, yes!
Hunt: Then how come you’re not seeing me?
Neo: Huh?
Hunt: I’m wearing a mask foo’!
Neo: What!
<At this point, I (DÛke) open Napster, since I’m (DÛke) getting tired of this non-sense. I (DÛke) then starts downloading an Enigma song…>…Back to the story…
Hunt lifts the mask slowly only to reveal a face Neo didn’t recognize! It was Unmask all over again!
Neo: Who are you? <Not surprised, or shocked, just feature-less, dull expression>
Unmasked person: Volrath! <Screaming like he was the popular or something>
Neo: Volrath? Gerard brother/sister/mom/dad or whatever?
Volrath: YES! <Egocentrically>
Neo: You just love wearing them masks eh?
Volrath: Yep! I have fooled you! You said you could know a masked person…
Neo: I know a masked PERSON, not a masked animal…
Volrath: Are you implying that I’m an animal?
Neo: Well, yeah! That’s why your creature type in your card is not identified…
Volrath: I’m a Legend…
Neo: A what legend? Human Legend? Wizard Legend? He/she Legend? ANIMAL Legend?
Volrath: Do you really care! I’m here for one reason…
Neo: …and that is?
Volrath: This IS Sydney, Australia, right?
Neo: I guess…Duke, are we in Sydney? <Asking the person writing this>
DÛke: YEAH! Stop interrupting the story, OK! AND IT’S “DÛke” for Britney Spears’ sake!
Neo mumbles an unknown, Matrix-ian language…
Neo: Yep, we’re there…or here…or...um, whatever…
Volrath: Well, there’s a wizard’s academy in here…they have a ship of my desire…
Neo: A ship?
Volrath: It’s called Black Bird.
Neo: Na ah! Not X-Men’s Black Bird?
Volrath: Yeah, I guess.
Neo: I had my eye on that ship ever since I became a freak of The Matrix…I want it myself!
Volrath: I command you to get me that ship…NOW!
Neo: And if NOT? What’re you gonna do…DISCARD a creature so you gain +X/+X? Huh!
Volrath: No. I will make you feel the pain! I control your spine!
Neo: Oh, it’s the “spine” thing…well, bad news: I’m not Greven.
Volrath: Oh, I forgot…
Neo: Ok, let’s work together as a team and steal the Black Bird, ok?
Volrath: Ok…
DÛke mumbles some unknown curse words in French, and looks at the story he just made up. Ok, time to save, copy, and paste this thing…
DÛke: I’ll continue this story in a short while. <Still mumbling unknown French words>
Neo: Come back soon! <Hoping that DÛke never comes back>
Volrath: Yeah, I want that Black Bird…<wondering if he should rename Black Bird into “Bradatar”>
DÛke: Good for you guys…bye…
