Variant: How do you Terror a Wall?

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Cateran Emperor

Guest
Another adaption from the glory days of Inquest, one of my all time favorites for Magic (being a politician at heart ;) ) had to be their Kangaroo Court variant. This is one of the simpler variants to figure out, as it plays exactly like normal Magic would play. That is, if you played a Lawyer instead of a Wizard...

The basic concept came to me one day where I wondered, logically, how can you Terror a Glacial Wall. Think about it, how the nurf do you scare a wall to death? Well, after looking through several old Inquests, I found that they had done a similar variant in the past. The game plays like this:

The Arbiter
**Irrelevant side note**
Yes, Arbiter is just a cool sounding word for judge, but think about it: wouldn't you rather be called an Arbiter than a judge?
**Back to Relevance**

This is the only difference the game has, but it's a huge one. When two players dispute the logic behind something, they call on the Arbiter.

The Arbiter is a third party that determines any logic questions that are brought up. They must use precedence when they make their rulings, or else the whole thing will be really bad. Here are some basic guidelines to start with:

1. Walls are unaffected by Terror.
Think about it, how can an inanimate object die of fright?.

2. A Shock will also deal two damage to all creatures who, in their picture, are swimming.
Water conducts electricity.

3. Any picture of a wood based creature is automatically destroyed whenever it takes even one point of damage from a spell obviously based on fire (Fireball, Fireblast, Pyrotechnics, Inferno, Firestrom, et al.)
Obviously, the fire spreads, ultimately consuming the wood.

4. Ice Age Blinking Spirits have flying dammit!
Look at the picture and you'll understand why.

From here, just interpret it however logic would dictate it. Look at the picture and the spell name and you'll quickly understand why the debates get so heated. The only other rule is that the Arbiter's rulings always stand. After all, you came to him for help. :cool:
 
K

krichaiushii

Guest
I would imagine that only the original Frozen Shade would have flying...

Following this logic, pictures with more than one of an item should count as two, regardless of card title. For example, the 7th edition Llanowar Elf pictures two elves on it. Therefore, it should really be Llanowar Elves, theoretically requiring more than the printed 1 point of damage to destroy.

Just a thought.
 
C

Cateran Emperor

Guest
Spidey - It depends on your arbiter, but I would allow it ;)

krichaiushii - Again, that's the kind of logic that I would allow. Of course, your opponent could argue that each elf has a p/t of .5/.5 What do you say then? :cool:
 
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NeuroDeus

Guest
So Time Elemental must have flying... he got wings... he looks like a Dragonfly...

Armageddon destroys everthing... Pure logic... If land is destroyed everything ON the land is either destroy or made into dust...

Ertai, The Corrupted has the ability "T: Destroy target goblin"

1 point of damage brings Stronghold Zeppelin down... It punctures the balloon...

millions of things that can be played and broken in this variant...
 
C

Cateran Emperor

Guest
Neuro, that's half the fun! The stuff that can be played is supposed to be insane, throwing strategy out the window in favor of bizarre logic!
 
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krichaiushii

Guest
Playing any of the Invasion cards with Battlemechs featured in the art allows you to pull out your old mechwarrior cards (or maybe just the game mechanic) and win by depleting your opponent's library through damage? THAT could be fun. Then everyone would be paying the kicker on Urza's Rage...

Dry Spell would destroy any card with water in the title or picture...

Playing cards that use anagrams for titles forces all players to announce cards in anagram form...

Planewalker's Mirth would need to be errata'd to read:
Look at target player's hand. Laugh maniacally at the contents. Mock that player's choice of cards...

Cards with "Illusion" or "Illusionary" or "Hallucinogenic" in the title or text can be destroyed by saying "I disbelieve"...

To steal a mechanic from Iron Man magic, playing cards like Fireball and Incinerate allow you to pull out your zippo and literally Fireball and Incinerate targets. (Use on CARDS only!)

Use of Shatter requires you to freeze target artifact card until brittle, then shatter it...

I'll stop now.
 
C

Cateran Emperor

Guest
Allow me to provide an example:

Player A plays say, Illusionary Wall.
Player B, to arbiter "I don't believe it's there, so it should be destroyed immediately."
Player A then says "It's a very convincing Illusion though. How can you disbelieve it, it's right there in front of you?"
Player B has no response to that.
Arbiter decides that the illusion is convincing, and so stays in play.
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
this is by far the best variant i've seen in a while
okay so i say to the arbiter, i played this wretched it has wings so it should fly, and my opponent points out that the wings on the wretched are very beat up and thus unable to give the creature flight, the arbiter could decide whether or not to give the creature flying on basis of pure argument?
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
Assuming you're playing this variant in the same play group, would the arbitrator write down these rulings so they apply to future games and that way he won't forget? Or do these things have to be decided each time?
 
C

Cateran Emperor

Guest
When we play, he decides it each time. If a question comes up though, someone usually uses the argument that he ruled a certain way last time.
 
N

NeuroDeus

Guest
So Cateran Emporer... a soft wind comes through the window... all permanents which have paper and feathers in them fly away... can I try to return two to my hand because I jumped up and tryed to catch one with each hand...?
 
F

Firestorm

Guest
Hehe, Wildfire + Zippo combo

Uktabi Orangutang(spelling, I know) now has:

Tap Uktabi Orangutang and another target creature to put a 1/1 monkey babey token into play.

Great Whale: All Homarids in play are destroyed
 
S

SenenCito

Guest
well if you ask me, blastoderm should have forestwalk, after all he is walking on the branches of trees
and the blurred mongoose should be unblockable
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
Looming Shade (7th) has flying.

Raise Dead (7th) turns the creature into a Creature - Zombie.

Regeneration (7th) requires that you have six creatures in play to cast it: five, and the target.

Seeker of Skybreak (7th) has Forestwalk.
 
C

Cateran Emperor

Guest
As no one seems to understand still (I'm starting to wonder why I even bothered), I'll explain it bluntly.

Yes Isty, those things do happen [START PAYING ATTENTION]IF THE ARBITER RULES IN YOUR FAVOR[STOP PAYING ATTENTION]
 
R

rakso

Guest
Originally posted by krichaiushii
Following this logic, pictures with more than one of an item should count as two, regardless of card title. For example, the 7th edition Llanowar Elf pictures two elves on it. Therefore, it should really be Llanowar Elves, theoretically requiring more than the printed 1 point of damage to destroy.
Lol!

What a wonderful rule!

MORPHLING will thus Clone itself when you play it!

And Balduvian Horde will have to be a 2/2 instead of a 5/5 since there are only two in the picture; hardly a horde!

And... let's not even talk about HORRIBLE HORDES! :)
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
CE: I think people got it, they're just having fun now (at least that's how I'm reading the thread)
 
M

Mikeymike

Guest
What are the ethics involved in acceptance of 'donations'? (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Nothing big, maybe a foil land, or an alpha llanowar elf. hehe

That would be fun b/c then I could disallow the playing of the 7th edition classic creatures such as Serra Angel and the Mahamoti Djinn, since they were never supposed to be printed again.

The havoc this would create, oh man. And I thought our games took a long time now.
 
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