The Ultimate Battle over the Ancient Treasure of the CPA

Discussion in 'Battle Arena' started by Ransac, Feb 23, 2007.

  1. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Oversoul's tentacle pulls away, allowing Ransac to escape. The fuzzies consume Oversoul and mutate into Fuzzversouls, which fly toward Ransac and prepare to attack.*
  2. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    Meanwhile, forgotten by the group, DarthFerret uses the force to cause a short in the PA system, thus allowing electricity to course through Spidermans body, which, in turn, fuses his web-shooters into so much molten metal.
  3. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    The lights go out. Ransac and the DarthFerret are knocked in the backs of the head with a three hundred year old mutton. They awake moments later tethered by the leg to a solid steel pipe at either end of a bathroom with a dead Oversoul in the middle of the room.
  4. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac and DarthFerret stare at their tethererd legs, then at each other, back to their legs, to Oversoul, to their legs, to each other, and then to Oversoul. Then, Ransac gets tired of this and hits DF over the head with the lead rabbit. Too much staring. Ransac decides that he needs this treasure. He slaps his butt-cheeks and inverts the universe, holds his breath and slaps his cheeks again. The universe is reverted with the following changes: Ransac is untethered and walking casually out of the bathroom; DarthFerret's legs have been tethered together and is still unconscious; Oversoul is unconscious, dressed in drag, AND in the drive-thru at the checkers down the hall; Spiderman's spandex is now pink; and EricBess has been given a "Hot Foot". Interestingly, the Nightstalkers have escaped the inversion unscathed..... or HAVE they?....*

    Now, time to get back this treasure!!!!

    *Ransac walks through the bathroom door........ into the bathroom. Ransac is perplexed as to how leaving the bathroom would take him back to the bathroom.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  5. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Since Oversoul is unconscious, a huge Fireball tears through the walls and into Ransac.*
  6. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac begins to sizzle.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  7. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    A troupe of Nightstalkers drag Oversoul off to be in their show... Straight Eye for the Queer Guy. And the unscathed Nightstalkers look at the screen and try to figure out why they're all of a sudden on a TV show they had thought was cancelled years ago.
  8. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Oversoul wakes up. Seeing that he is dressed in drag and that Nightstalkers are present, he concludes that they dressed him this way and proceeds to tear the whole troupe apart with his tentacles. Then he runs around, tearing apart everything in his path.*
  9. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    ** Spiderman curses as he realizes that 1) His body is having the "shaked" due to the electricity that coursed through his body, 2) His hands are burning due to the molten web-shooters, and 3) The burritos he had for lunch aren't agreeing with him. He runs to the nearby shower and rinses his hands and then sits down for a nice visit on the porcelain god, picking up the Sunday comics.
  10. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *After a month of sizzling, Ransac gets tired of it and jumps in the shower to douse the fire. Ransac then slips on the soap and crashes through the wall...... revealing a chest containing one of the ancient treasures...*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  11. Mooseman Isengar Tussle

    "You found the midget porn?" mooseman calls from the far temple.
  12. Ransac CPA Trash Man


    *Ransac is ecstatic and screams to everyone.*

    GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FOUND WHERE ZADOK001 HID THE MIDGET PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  13. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Oversoul is still destroying everything in his path.*

    *William, the Cyberbacon, is still sizzling.*
  14. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac tucks the midget porn away and claps his hands. The noise is loud enough to wake Oversoul and end his flaming expulsion......*

    *Ransac chuckles after reading his previous sentence.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  15. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *Oversoul points out that this "midget porn" is actually just a series of photographs showing a group of midgets throwing darts at a poster of Ransac's face. It ends with Zadok's signature.*
  16. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac curses the name of Zadok001.... when he notices that the back of one of the photos has a map to the madget porn.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  17. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *A large madget walks in an demands the map.*

    What's a madget, anyway?
  18. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac shoots the madget, removes the madget porn map from existence, and notices that another photo has a map to the midget porn.*


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  19. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    *The map makes no sense. It places the planet Neptune right between Carson City and Mooseman's hair. The midget porn is supposedly in a city near the core of Neptune called "muffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffinmuffin."*
  20. Prince RXI CPA Moon-Boy

    *A hole appears in the air and out pops Prince RXI... Kinda. His armor is gone, his sword is tied shut, and he wears a hawaii shirt and a blue baseball cap (Symbol omitted) as well as a deep tan*

    "Sorry about the absince... Blade, Edge, Zero, Sapphire, and Talon all boughta Vacation package for Rain and I... I've been in Hawaii, as well as at Lore' La' Dier's funeral... Something about a taco and gunpowder didn't agree with him."

    **Notices the mayham and destruction of the Archives... and wonders why the hell he's in a bathroom.**

    Prince RXI, Making another return... yah... <.<

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