I
Istanbul
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So, let's see what I've come up with since my setmaking cards. I'll include cards that got cut, as well as the cards I've made since then.
Beavis (2R)
Creature - Legendary Idiot
2/1
If Butthead is in play, Beavis gets +1/+2.
1RR, T: Search your library for a card with the word 'Fire' in the title. Put that card into your hand.
"Heh heh...fire! FIRE!"
Butthead (2R)
Creature - Legendary Idiot
1/2
If Beavis and Butthead are both in play, Butthead gets +2/+1.
RRR, T: Butthead deals 3 damage to target creature.
"Uh...huh huh....don't make me kick your @ss, Beavis!"
(Holy crap...Brothers Yamazaki, anyone?)
Goblin Prostitute (1R)
Creature - Goblin
0/1
Sacrifice a creature: Target opponent gains control of Goblin Prostitute. You may not sacrifice a Goblin Prostitute in this way.
At the end of each turn, all players that control a Goblin Prostitute take 3 damage.
You pay her NOT to go out with you.
CPA Ban (2W)
Instant
Counter target spell with a median Scrye value greater than $5.00. CPA Ban can't be countered by spells or abilities. (You must have the most recent issue of Scrye at hand to cast this spell.)
"You own the Power 9, and drive a Pinto?"
Broken Time Card (U)
Instant
Choose one: Take another turn after this one; or both players shuffle their libraries, hands, and graveyards together and draw seven cards; or counter target spell. Target opponent chooses one: Kick target player in the balls; slap target player in the face; or bend target player over the table and re-enact Deliverance.
Anonymity (2U)
Enchantment
All permanents lose Legendary status.
"Nicol who?"
Copy Enchantment (1UU)
Enchantment
Choose an enchantment currently in play.
Copy Enchantment becomes a copy of that enchantment.
If an Enchant Creature spell is copied, you may choose a new creature for this spell to enchant.
Demonic Death of Evil Hatred (BBB)
Instant
Sacrifice target player.
"Hold your arm still, Bob...we gotta do what the card says!"
Order of Chaos 1WR
Creature - Knight
First Strike
If you control a basic Plains, sacrifice Order of Chaos.
If you control a basic Mountain, sacrifice Order of Chaos.
3/3
Multiple Personality Disorder is not a redeeming quality in a knight.
Sadism (1BBB)
Enchantment
When Sadism comes into play, lose half your life, rounded up.
During your upkeep, you gain 1 life.
"After a while, you even start to like it..."
Genocide (3UBB)
Sorcery
When you play Genocide, choose a creature type.
Remove from the game all creatures of the chosen type.
Look at target opponent's hand, library, and graveyard. Remove all creatures of the chosen type from the game.
The cruelest stroke was discovered in the archmage's records: an unknown species, not only wiped from the face of the planet, but from the memory of all who lived.
Parallax Fluctuator (3)
Artifact
T: Choose a creature with Fading. Flip a coin. If the flip lands in your favor, that creature loses fading. Otherwise, remove the creature from the game.
"This could cure you. Or..."
Intellect Focus (UUU)
Enchantment
U, Pay 1 life: Counter target spell.
Whenever you play an instant, sacrifice Intellect Focus.
Dismantling Facility
Land
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice an enchantment: Add WW to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice a land: Add GG to your mana pool.
T, Discard a card: Add UU to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice an artifact: Add RR to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice a creature: Add BB to your mana pool.
Starvation (2BB)
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gains 'This creature's controller must sacrifice a creature during his upkeep. If he does not, tap this creature and it deals damage to its controller equal to its power. This creature may not be sacrificed in this way.'
Prismatog (X)
Creature - Atog
Prismatog comes into play with X +1/+1 counters on it.
Prismatog is whatever color(s) of mana were spent on it.
If Prismatog's power is ever 7 or greater, sacrifice it.
Sacrifice an enchantment: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and protection from a color of your choice until end of turn.
Discard a card from your hand: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and flying until end of turn.
Sacrifice a creature: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and 'B: Regenerates' until end of turn.
Sacrifice an artifact: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and 'R: Prismatog gets +1/+0 until end of turn' until end of turn.
Sacrifice a land: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and trample until end of turn.
The prismatog is a docile and harmless creature unless its favorite food is nearby. Only then does it become a savage and unyielding monster. The prismatog's favorite food? Anything.
Hypervore (5)
Artifact Creature - Lhurgoyf
When Hypervore comes into play, choose instant, sorcery, land, enchantment, or creature.
X is equal to the number of cards in all graveyards of the chosen type.
Remove a card of the chosen type in your graveyard from the game: Hypervore gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
X/X
It's easy to get it to eat what you want it to eat. The hard part is making it stop.
Spiritual Realm (2W)
Enchant World
When Spiritual Realm comes into play, destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.
Each player then puts a 1/1 white Spirit token into play for each creature destroyed in this way.
If Spiritual Realm leaves play, bury all Spirits and return to play all creatures destroyed by Spiritual Realm.
If you control any non-Spirit creatures, you lose the game.
Oooh...those dinks. I was just looking at Nature's Boon (designed in 2002) and realized that WotC ganked it and turned it into Glimpse of Nature for 2004! [/joke]
Aneurism (UB)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster pays 1 life and discards a card.
Flash-Freeze (UR)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster has Flash-Freeze deal 3 damage to a creature or player of your choice.
Weasel Eyebrows (UG)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster chooses to have you put a 2/3 green Weasel token into play under your control.
Crystallize (UW)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster chooses to have you gain 5 life.
Blown Cover (RRR)
Sorcery
Until end of turn, you may morph any creature you control without paying its morphing cost.
Creatures revealed in this way get +1/+0 and haste until end of turn.
At the end of any turn, remove any creatures revealed in this way from the game.
It made its name known just in time to have it carved on its tombstone.
Demetallicize (R)
Instant
Destroy all foil cards in play.
Sometimes, all wealth does is paint a big bullseye on your forehead.
Scorch (1R)
Instant
Scorch deals 2+X damage to target creature or player, where X is the number of red spells you have successfully cast this turn.
(Created well before Scattershot was a gleam in some R&D goober's eye. 8-19-2001.)
Enhance (2)
Enchant Creature
You may play Enhance with any kind of mana, provided that at least one of the mana spent is colored.
If W is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets first strike.
If G is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets trample.
If U is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets flying.
If R is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets haste.
If B is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets 'Sacrifice this creature: Target player chooses and discards a card.'
The shape of the land tends to dictate the shape of the armies that fight for it.
Vanisher (5)
Artifact
Vanisher is indestructible.
T: Remove all indestructible artifacts from the game.
Planar Link (1U)
Enchantment
When Planar Link comes into play, destroy all permanents with cumulative upkeep, flanking, phasing, shadow, echo, fading, kicker, threshhold, cycling, and imprint. Remove all indestructible permanents from the game. Cards with these abilities can't be played.
"Jamuraa, Dominaria, Rath, Mercadia, Mirrodin...it's all just a honeycomb of worlds, and one's as good as the next if you know your way around." - Rahnohh
Rapacious Fnord (3RG)
Creature - Fnord
Affinity for creatures all opponents control (Rapacious Fnord costs 1 less to play for each creature your opponents control)
Haste
For each creature that blocks Rapacious Fnord, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
3/3
Love Potion (W)
Enchant Creature
When Love Potion comes into play, choose a creature.
The chosen creature can't be the target of abilities of the enchanted creature, and damage dealt to the chosen creature by the enchanted creature is reduced to zero.
"Love is imperfect, in that we often hurt those we love. That's where potions come in."
Sigil of Idiocy (1U)
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature's activated abilities can't be played.
When Sigil of Idiocy comes into play, draw a card.
When your archmage starts smacking his opponents with his wand and clubbing them with his spellbook, you know you have a problem.
Startle (U)
Instant
Counter target spell.
That spell's caster may draw a card.
Funky Monkey (2B)
Creature - Monkey
Kicker 2B
If you paid the kicker cost, Funky Monkey comes into play with a +1/+1 counter and gains 'B: Regenerates'.
B: Funky Monkey deals 1 damage to all creatures and players.
2/2
"I hate cleaning out the monkey cages. They always throw crap at me."
Mana Spout (XG)
Sorcery
You may reveal up to X+2 cards cards in your hand. For each card you reveal in this way, you may add one colored mana to your mana pool of that card's color. (For example, you may add B to your mana pool by revealing a black card, or G by revealing a green card.)
Revival (2W)
Instant
Regenerate all creatures.
Flame Rush (2R)
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play Flame Rush, reveal your hand.
Flame Rush deals 4 - X damage to target player, where X is the number of red cards revealed in this way.
Tyresian Wingglider (2U)
Creature - Soldier
U: Tyresian Wingglider gains flying until end of turn.
U: Tyresian Wingglider loses flying until end of turn.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a creature with flying they control and returns it to their hand.
2/2
Beavis (2R)
Creature - Legendary Idiot
2/1
If Butthead is in play, Beavis gets +1/+2.
1RR, T: Search your library for a card with the word 'Fire' in the title. Put that card into your hand.
"Heh heh...fire! FIRE!"
Butthead (2R)
Creature - Legendary Idiot
1/2
If Beavis and Butthead are both in play, Butthead gets +2/+1.
RRR, T: Butthead deals 3 damage to target creature.
"Uh...huh huh....don't make me kick your @ss, Beavis!"
(Holy crap...Brothers Yamazaki, anyone?)
Goblin Prostitute (1R)
Creature - Goblin
0/1
Sacrifice a creature: Target opponent gains control of Goblin Prostitute. You may not sacrifice a Goblin Prostitute in this way.
At the end of each turn, all players that control a Goblin Prostitute take 3 damage.
You pay her NOT to go out with you.
CPA Ban (2W)
Instant
Counter target spell with a median Scrye value greater than $5.00. CPA Ban can't be countered by spells or abilities. (You must have the most recent issue of Scrye at hand to cast this spell.)
"You own the Power 9, and drive a Pinto?"
Broken Time Card (U)
Instant
Choose one: Take another turn after this one; or both players shuffle their libraries, hands, and graveyards together and draw seven cards; or counter target spell. Target opponent chooses one: Kick target player in the balls; slap target player in the face; or bend target player over the table and re-enact Deliverance.
Anonymity (2U)
Enchantment
All permanents lose Legendary status.
"Nicol who?"
Copy Enchantment (1UU)
Enchantment
Choose an enchantment currently in play.
Copy Enchantment becomes a copy of that enchantment.
If an Enchant Creature spell is copied, you may choose a new creature for this spell to enchant.
Demonic Death of Evil Hatred (BBB)
Instant
Sacrifice target player.
"Hold your arm still, Bob...we gotta do what the card says!"
Order of Chaos 1WR
Creature - Knight
First Strike
If you control a basic Plains, sacrifice Order of Chaos.
If you control a basic Mountain, sacrifice Order of Chaos.
3/3
Multiple Personality Disorder is not a redeeming quality in a knight.
Sadism (1BBB)
Enchantment
When Sadism comes into play, lose half your life, rounded up.
During your upkeep, you gain 1 life.
"After a while, you even start to like it..."
Genocide (3UBB)
Sorcery
When you play Genocide, choose a creature type.
Remove from the game all creatures of the chosen type.
Look at target opponent's hand, library, and graveyard. Remove all creatures of the chosen type from the game.
The cruelest stroke was discovered in the archmage's records: an unknown species, not only wiped from the face of the planet, but from the memory of all who lived.
Parallax Fluctuator (3)
Artifact
T: Choose a creature with Fading. Flip a coin. If the flip lands in your favor, that creature loses fading. Otherwise, remove the creature from the game.
"This could cure you. Or..."
Intellect Focus (UUU)
Enchantment
U, Pay 1 life: Counter target spell.
Whenever you play an instant, sacrifice Intellect Focus.
Dismantling Facility
Land
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice an enchantment: Add WW to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice a land: Add GG to your mana pool.
T, Discard a card: Add UU to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice an artifact: Add RR to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice a creature: Add BB to your mana pool.
Starvation (2BB)
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gains 'This creature's controller must sacrifice a creature during his upkeep. If he does not, tap this creature and it deals damage to its controller equal to its power. This creature may not be sacrificed in this way.'
Prismatog (X)
Creature - Atog
Prismatog comes into play with X +1/+1 counters on it.
Prismatog is whatever color(s) of mana were spent on it.
If Prismatog's power is ever 7 or greater, sacrifice it.
Sacrifice an enchantment: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and protection from a color of your choice until end of turn.
Discard a card from your hand: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and flying until end of turn.
Sacrifice a creature: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and 'B: Regenerates' until end of turn.
Sacrifice an artifact: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and 'R: Prismatog gets +1/+0 until end of turn' until end of turn.
Sacrifice a land: Prismatog gets +1/+1 and trample until end of turn.
The prismatog is a docile and harmless creature unless its favorite food is nearby. Only then does it become a savage and unyielding monster. The prismatog's favorite food? Anything.
Hypervore (5)
Artifact Creature - Lhurgoyf
When Hypervore comes into play, choose instant, sorcery, land, enchantment, or creature.
X is equal to the number of cards in all graveyards of the chosen type.
Remove a card of the chosen type in your graveyard from the game: Hypervore gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
X/X
It's easy to get it to eat what you want it to eat. The hard part is making it stop.
Spiritual Realm (2W)
Enchant World
When Spiritual Realm comes into play, destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.
Each player then puts a 1/1 white Spirit token into play for each creature destroyed in this way.
If Spiritual Realm leaves play, bury all Spirits and return to play all creatures destroyed by Spiritual Realm.
If you control any non-Spirit creatures, you lose the game.
Oooh...those dinks. I was just looking at Nature's Boon (designed in 2002) and realized that WotC ganked it and turned it into Glimpse of Nature for 2004! [/joke]
Aneurism (UB)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster pays 1 life and discards a card.
Flash-Freeze (UR)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster has Flash-Freeze deal 3 damage to a creature or player of your choice.
Weasel Eyebrows (UG)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster chooses to have you put a 2/3 green Weasel token into play under your control.
Crystallize (UW)
Instant
Counter target spell unless that spell's caster chooses to have you gain 5 life.
Blown Cover (RRR)
Sorcery
Until end of turn, you may morph any creature you control without paying its morphing cost.
Creatures revealed in this way get +1/+0 and haste until end of turn.
At the end of any turn, remove any creatures revealed in this way from the game.
It made its name known just in time to have it carved on its tombstone.
Demetallicize (R)
Instant
Destroy all foil cards in play.
Sometimes, all wealth does is paint a big bullseye on your forehead.
Scorch (1R)
Instant
Scorch deals 2+X damage to target creature or player, where X is the number of red spells you have successfully cast this turn.
(Created well before Scattershot was a gleam in some R&D goober's eye. 8-19-2001.)
Enhance (2)
Enchant Creature
You may play Enhance with any kind of mana, provided that at least one of the mana spent is colored.
If W is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets first strike.
If G is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets trample.
If U is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets flying.
If R is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets haste.
If B is spent to play Enhance, enchanted creature gets 'Sacrifice this creature: Target player chooses and discards a card.'
The shape of the land tends to dictate the shape of the armies that fight for it.
Vanisher (5)
Artifact
Vanisher is indestructible.
T: Remove all indestructible artifacts from the game.
Planar Link (1U)
Enchantment
When Planar Link comes into play, destroy all permanents with cumulative upkeep, flanking, phasing, shadow, echo, fading, kicker, threshhold, cycling, and imprint. Remove all indestructible permanents from the game. Cards with these abilities can't be played.
"Jamuraa, Dominaria, Rath, Mercadia, Mirrodin...it's all just a honeycomb of worlds, and one's as good as the next if you know your way around." - Rahnohh
Rapacious Fnord (3RG)
Creature - Fnord
Affinity for creatures all opponents control (Rapacious Fnord costs 1 less to play for each creature your opponents control)
Haste
For each creature that blocks Rapacious Fnord, it gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
3/3
Love Potion (W)
Enchant Creature
When Love Potion comes into play, choose a creature.
The chosen creature can't be the target of abilities of the enchanted creature, and damage dealt to the chosen creature by the enchanted creature is reduced to zero.
"Love is imperfect, in that we often hurt those we love. That's where potions come in."
Sigil of Idiocy (1U)
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature's activated abilities can't be played.
When Sigil of Idiocy comes into play, draw a card.
When your archmage starts smacking his opponents with his wand and clubbing them with his spellbook, you know you have a problem.
Startle (U)
Instant
Counter target spell.
That spell's caster may draw a card.
Funky Monkey (2B)
Creature - Monkey
Kicker 2B
If you paid the kicker cost, Funky Monkey comes into play with a +1/+1 counter and gains 'B: Regenerates'.
B: Funky Monkey deals 1 damage to all creatures and players.
2/2
"I hate cleaning out the monkey cages. They always throw crap at me."
Mana Spout (XG)
Sorcery
You may reveal up to X+2 cards cards in your hand. For each card you reveal in this way, you may add one colored mana to your mana pool of that card's color. (For example, you may add B to your mana pool by revealing a black card, or G by revealing a green card.)
Revival (2W)
Instant
Regenerate all creatures.
Flame Rush (2R)
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play Flame Rush, reveal your hand.
Flame Rush deals 4 - X damage to target player, where X is the number of red cards revealed in this way.
Tyresian Wingglider (2U)
Creature - Soldier
U: Tyresian Wingglider gains flying until end of turn.
U: Tyresian Wingglider loses flying until end of turn.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a creature with flying they control and returns it to their hand.
2/2