Suicide

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

Having decided that it is high past time that I go off the deep end, I have decided to take some new cards with me!

Jumper Guy
R
1/1
R, Tap: Destroy Jumper Guy. You may only play this ability if you control a Building.

Fat Jumper Guy
3R
2/2
RR, Tap: Destroy Fat Jumper Guy. Fat Jumper Guy deals 3 damage to target creature. You may only play this ability if you control a Building.

You get the idea (some artifacts will need to be made to count as Buildings). Create away!

 

[maraud234]

2B

Misled Assasin
R
1/1

B, Tap: Destroy one of your creatures.

Ha, Ha, nobody will be able to stop me with this card.

 

[Salacious Crumb]

YES! I LOVE SUICIDE

Kamikaze B
Instant

Sac a creature to destroy target opponent

Hoipa

 

[Ransac]

Here's my take on this.


The weasels have come
BB
Enchantment
Sacrifice a creature: Deal 1 damage to any target. Lose 15 life.
Lose 15 life: Deal 1 damage to any target. Sacrifice a creature.



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Salacious Crumb]

oh yeah, well look at this!

Buttox Hair BBB
enchantment
Lose 9999 life: Deal 9999 damage to yourself
Deal 9999 damgage to yourself: Lose 9999 life

Hoipa

 

[Prince RXI]

Now now guys...


Rambuctious Nasal Hairs; 1
enchant self
can not be countered, can not be target of spells or abilities

All spells you cast are countered
During your upkeep, all other permanents you control are destroyed, they can not be regenerated. Lose life.

"Damn. I need some tweesers."


now THAT'S a bad card.





Prince RXI, has enharited his brother's ability to make REALLY funny cards

 

[Darth Dunk]

You could use the Nasal Hairs with Mirror Mirror. Kinda funny synergy in the names as well.

 

[maraud234]

How about...

Lazy Bum
R
Creature-couch potatoe
9/9

Lazy Bum comes into play tapped. Lazy Bum does not untap during your untap phase. If Lazy Bum becomes tapped, sacrifice Lazy Bum.

 

[Prince RXI]

Hey, Maraud234: Rambuctious Nasel hairs is unable to be target of spells or abilities, which Mirror Mirror is an ability. I thought of that AND donate. I just wanted to make the worst card of all times.





Prince RXI, Maraud.. hehehe

 

[maraud234]

What are you trying to say?

 

[Salacious Crumb]

Uh oh, prince just corrected maraud
Knowing maraud's temper...
Oohh... they're gonna have a fight!
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHt!

Hoipa

 

[Prince RXI]

I mean that, if you read the whole card, you can see that, when casted, it will kill you mirror mirror would not be around, and you whould have no lands to donate, so I thought of a card your opponent can't even destroy
oh, and sorry, I can't fight right now. My equipment is in a bag that I zipped into another dimension and can't be unzipped till the fight between Daggertooth and I is done. How ever...

*RXI disappears.*





Prince RXI, can turn invisible to even the eyes of a Draconian

 

[fuzzy510]

Skyscraper
Land
During your untap step, tap Skyscraper.
During your discard step, untap Skyscraper.
Skyscraper counts as a Building.
2, Tap: Skyscraper becomes a 0/3 creature that counts as a Wall until end of turn.
RR, Tap: Skyscraper doesn't tap during your next untap step.

 

[Salacious Crumb]

What the hell? That's a real card?

Hoipa

 

[fuzzy510]

ARGH!!! Sorry. I meant that it could be a real card, i.e. it's not insane and crazy and off-the-wall.

 

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

Some of you have missed the point.

The point of this thread is to make cards that involve creatures committing suicide, not players committing suicide. People jump off of buildings, or firemen with ladders go up to save them, and the people punch the firemen in the nose and jump anyway - stuff like that.

 

[Ransac]

WELL, then, I think I'll grace this thread with my historic event.


Here's a creature suicide card:

Jump for the Butterfly
WWWB
Enchantment
Sacrifice a creature: Destroy target creature you control.



There you go, a creature suicide card.




Ransac, cpa..........


That's right. I just want to point out that this is my, envelope please.

*A monkey flies by on a vine and hands Ransac an envelope.*

Thank you. This is my 1000th post that counts. START THE PARADE!!!!!!!

*A parade stomps by, consisting of 17,00 elephants, 293,884 monkeys, Salacious Crumb, 2,948 electric eels out of water, and a partridge in a plum tree. Then, all of the Off-Topic elite walk by.*


*sniff* Thanks.





Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[maraud234]

Yeah, Ransac has 1000 posts! We should throw him a party.

 

[TURD CUTTER!!!]

Frank Grimes W
Creature-Angry Worker
W, Tap: Destroy Frank Grimes. You may only use this ability if Homer Simpson is in play.
1/1
"Oh, look! Danger, High Voltage! But I don't need safety gloves, because I'm Homer-" bzzzzzz

Homer Simpson RUG
Creature-Fat, Annoying Co-Worker
RUG, Tap: Destroy Target Frank Grimes
2/4
"D'oh"

 

[fuzzy510]

Power Plant
Land
All Homer Simpsons get +1/+1.
You may not play Frank Grimes.