Something rather serious involving the opposite sex

[Jigglypuff]

Okay, I never thought that I would ever actually have to say this, but...

I may have actually found a girl who would go out with me.

Unfortunately, I have no clue as to:
1) What to say or do to confirm this.
2) What to say to her.
3) And on the off chance I do manage it, what to do then.

Please help, if you can.
(- Steve -)

 

[Ferret]

Well, you could do what I did:

1. Say nothing to her, but stare at her - when she notices, turn away and hide.

2. Find out her schedule and "show up" where she will be and try to strike up a conversation.

3. Occasionaly mention where you like to go in your leisure time and see if she likes that also.

4. Work up massive ammounts of courage and ask her out.

5. If the date goes well, marry her.

(okay, okay - my wife wants to put in her 2¢)

First of all, stalking = creepy. Don't do it. I thought my husband was a freak and would leave skinned squirrels on my car if I looked like I was interested in him. It's not hard: You walk up to her, talk about things you have in common, and ask her to dinner or a movie. Girls are interested in guys that ACT interested in them. Don't let thinking that she will say no stop you. She just might be really into you and is just as shy. I say, go for it, stud muffin.

(my wife actually typed that - honest)

-Ferret

"...I guess, I should get her to register to post more often..."

 

[Spiderman]

LOL... that's great...

Okay, back to business. Are you actually on speaking terms with this girl, as in same classes or activities or friends? I'm kinda guessing not due to your questions but you never know...

Well, if you'd like to go out with her, the best way of finding out is asking her. I know, it sounds easier than actually doing it... if she's already a friend and she turns you down, it could get a bit awkward (especially if she's a "new" friend), but if not, the worst she can say is no and then you don't have to worry about talking to her (unless you want to become friends later on).

If you want to sneak around ala high school, you could get a mutual friend to find out if she's interested in you <shrug>

If she does say yes, I'd say to find an activity both of you can participate in, as opposed to a movie where you both kinda just sit there. Maybe something's going on campus or in town. I always like mini-golf Dinner's good too. Or like Ferret's wife said, you can find out what she's interested in and plan accordingly.

Good luck!

 

[Bob]

Kill her.




er, I mean, um...don't kill her. Heh, yeah, that's what I meant.

*nervous glance*

 

[Mikeymike]

Hmm, here's a tough one since the best approach depends on her personality.

I'd say you've got to ask her out face to face - no e-mail, phone, or thru friends. Asking her in person tells her you care enough to do it properly. Don't be afraid of asking her in person because you don't want her to say no to your face, its worth the risk because (at least I feel) you improve your chances by asking her in person.

Regarding what to say - depends on how serious you are. Ask her to go out with you, maybe as friends so it doesn't have the word 'date' attached to it. But make sure she realizes that you are romantically interested in her, this way she won't spend half the time wondering whether you really are or are not into her. Exactly how you do that is in your hands.

The best piece of advice I can give might sound cliche, but its important - be genuine. No BS, no trying to hard to be someone you're not, etc. Don't pretend to show interest in what she's talking about, show actual interest - ask questions and respond on her topic so it doesn't seem like you are merely waiting for your turn to talk (so to speak). When you compliment her - which you will do, mean it - just don't think with your oink when you do, and no cheesy pickup lines.

The last thing I'll say some might not agree with - but I find that honesty is always the best policy. If you get nervous and say something goofy or do something embarassing, don't be afraid to call yourself out on it. Not "Oh I'm such an idiot" which displays a low self-image, but more like "Sorry, I just increased my Stupid Pill prescription and it seems to be kicking in" which not only says you've got a sense of humor but you aren't afraid to laugh at your own expense.

Hmm, where to go? Go someplace fun like a County Fair so you can win her a prize and force a little contact between you 2 on the rides - not being dirty, honestly. Affection/Touch is wanted by both if the date is going well but it will be akward to make that first move, and something as simple as this will take some of that romantic tension away and raise the inhibitions some (again, good inhibitions not drunken inhibitions). Plus it will be fun and give you a chance to talk. Bowling is fun too, just stay away from the movies on your first date.

Golden rules of Balance: stick with moderation
- Be a gentleman and always offer to pay for her, hold the door, etc. She'll let you know if she wants to be Dutch.
- Make eye contact when speaking to her, especially during a compliment. But do not stare at her.
- Give effort, but don't try to hard.
- Oh yeah, don't mention Magic

 

[MrXarvox]

Mikeymike got the drill down pretty well.

I would like to add, however, that if she doesn't like your playing Magic, she's probably not your type at all.

 

[Svenmonkey]

I say if someone violently rejects you, like you're afraid of happening, they're a butt (I know, pretty harsh language, eh?). Of course, this is coming from the 197th biggest loser on the planet.

 

[Apollo]

if she's already a friend and she turns you down, it could get a bit awkward (especially if she's a "new" friend)

This would be my problem and, I think, Puff's. I've known a girl since early august, and we've been doing stuff together, and I can't decide if we've been dating or hanging out or what (we've gone to the Gravity Games, a couple movies, just hung out at her house, parties, etc.). There've been a thousand times I've decided she clearly liked me and I should ask her out, and then she does something totally bizarre and convinces me of the exact opposite.

At any rate, I've already decided to bite the bullet and ask the girl out, and how I'm going to do it and such, but what the heck do I do if she says no? How am I supposed to act towards her? She's the coolest girl I know (with the exception, of course, of our resident active female member), and the only reason I've held off asking her this long is that we've only known each other a short time and I'm afraid that if she says no, suddenly we won't be hanging out at all anymore. And I want to at least be friends with the girl.

Blah. How is it that supposedly rational, intelligent people can suddenly become absolute morons when it comes to members of the opposite sex?

 

[Bob]

Apollo, like I said before, there is one surefire solution to all of your romantic troubles:


...Kill her.



Seriously though, it's because you are a freak. Don't take that as an insult, because if you know me, you know that when I say freak, it's a compliment.

Freaks have no idea about what to do with the opposite sex because they really want to be with the person they like, not like just date the person and have sex with her, then dump her, which is the goal of the popular scum. Make sure she is someone who won't break up with you because you aren't cool. Make sure she likes you for what you are, not what you can act like.


But what the hell do I know? I've never even had a good friend IRL who was a girl.

But that's what I think. I have no idea how you get her to go out with you.

 

[Spiderman]

Apollo: That's always a hard one. I've only had a couple of experiences asking a longtime friend out, and that was only to a school dance. I got one yes but I felt that we were really going as a friends and not a "couple" (I don't know how she felt) so we didn't really end up going out afterwards. I got a no but the rejection was rather "easy"; she said she was either busy that night or something and rather than trying to read more into it than I had to, I just accepted it and still talked to her the week after (this was a good 12 years ago so my memory could be hazy ).

College was a bit more difficult. My freshman year, I had four good female friends who I hung out with quite a bit and one I really liked. And I got some vibes from her. Unfortunately, another mutual friend asked her out first and went out with her a couple of years (and she transferred out sophomore year). Sophomore year, I asked a couple of girls out who I was friends with for a relatively short time (met them at the start of the school year, asked them out about a month later) and went on a date, but things never seemed to work out after. So the whole issue was kinda "dropped" but I still talked to them and stuff, just didn't really hang out.

I guess the bottom line is that I never really asked out a girl who I hung out with a lot and was a "good friend". The ones I did were friends, but not "best buds", if you know what I mean. So things could just remain the same when they said no or it didn't work out; just do small talk and whatnot. I guess in your case, it's a bit tougher and maybe it could be weird if she turns you down or it doesn't work out, but then again, maybe you guys can get past it. And maybe it'll work out. Personally, I'd say go for it if she's the one you're interested in and you don't want to think in the future "what if".

 

[train]

Man oh man... reminiscient(I think that's a spelling error) of the high school days...

Don't find out her schedule, if you think this way already - you're already seeing her pretty frequently... just talk more when you see her.

When talking keep in mind the following:

-Focus you're attention on your conversation, not necessarily her, and not the girls walking by... you have to show interest.
-Don't lie about anything, she doesn't need to find out you lied about anything at a later date and time.
-Look for clues to her interest, and your own... If she seems like she's getting bored, Try hitting on another topic. If she still seems disinterested... tell her it's been nice talking to her and ask if you could catch up with her later - don't drag something out, just tell her you have to go do something. Then actually go do something, so you're not lying. She'll probably tell you where to catch up with her.
-A great place to start hitting something off is around an open social area... just calm your nerves and go for it...
-Listen... she may give you more insight as to what she likes to do... If this happens, immediately ask her if she'd like to do that sometime... If its something you haven't tried before ask what its all about... maybe she'll help you try it sometime...
-Stay away from personal(romantic dates) for a while - she more than likely wants to know if you're someone she can have a great time with before you get close...
-If she invites you over to something her friends may be attending - go, and mind your manners - don't be fake, show the real you... You'll be brought up in conversations later, and they'll give their opinion... This is a big plus!!!
-Keep a sense of humor - not everything people say is serious...
-I don't know what kind of person you are Puff, but be considerate of everyone around you, if someone says hi while you're with her, say hi back, don't shut anyone out because she's near you, but don't leave her stranded and begin conversing with the other person. Catch up with them later.
-Don't be afraid to open the door, for others besides her... again, consideration...
-If you're shy, that's fine - that's you, but courage and shyness are 2 different things, and courage should always win...
-If you are, let her know you're responsible, but if need be, make room in your schedule for her...

An example would be: the next time you see her, tell her you were going to get a drink and ask if she'd like one or to join you, jokingly say there's no charge... She'd probably say yes, if not, tease that it's only (such amount) and you don't mind. This way she's not thinking you're buying her a 20.00 dinner and she owes you something. A lot of discussion can occur over a soda or shake... She may even offer to buy next time... And then you're off, there's a next time. If she doesn't want one, don't offer anything else, ask her how she's doing, how things are going, and get the drink when you're done talking to her, but follow all of the above...

Remember always answer her questions truthfully, and listen...

 

[Gizmo]

Well I`m happily in my relationship, and I think there`s two ways I went about this that you might want to try to pursue.

1. Point her out to your best mate of many years as 'a cute babe' he then goes over and chats her up and takes her home with him. They date for a month or so until you screw your best mate over and steal her off him, driving a wedge between you and your best friend you both still feel... but then you`re getting great sex so its not like you care too much.

2. Make your first words to her when you finally do go out for lunch together, "I brought my toothbrush with me, I hope that`s ok".

Well... it worked for me.

 

[Svenmonkey]

You're creepy now.

 

[Apollo]

I've decided to combine the advice of two of my favorite members. I've already stolen her from my mate, so next time I see her I'll casually bring up my toothbrush.

And then kill her with it.

Thanks, guys!

 

[MrXarvox]

hehe....

 

[Ransac]

Have you tried doing what monkeys do and show of your mating dance skills? OH, and don't forget to throw leaves in the air while doing so.



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Mikeymike]

Steve has learned a valuable lesson, not to mix his lovelife with magic.

 

[Jigglypuff]

Hey, I'd never mix my love life and Magic. Like oil and water.

(- Steve -)

 

[Mikeymike]

In that case you better do something with that collection of Elvish Rangers



Ha! I slay me!

 

[Sammy Dead-O]

I've asked girls out in person, by email, and on the phone, and they've all worked at times. In person really might be the best way, but it's not always easy, y'know? My best advice would be to just do your best, but definitely try. If it works, that's excellent. If not, you've learned something. I know that sounds lame and cliched, but it's true. I was 21 before I got any sort of confidence at all in dealing with this stuff, and that's just cuz I finally got up the nerve to try and actually ask girls out. Over time, I kinda realized that it's just a process people go through, and it's not always the now-or-never ordeal I once thought it was. Quite a strange epiphany. Try it, and it works sometimes.

In short, just try something. It's always better to kick yourself for trying silly stuff than for letting another one slip by.