Someone Post here or we will steal your room key and sell it on Ebay™

Discussion in 'Storyline' started by Nightstalkers, Aug 5, 2002.

  1. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    start up a paragraph about magic and let people add on to the story and I will come back in about a month, copy the story together and post copies around the net.
  2. Jigglypuff Big Cute Pink Thing

    My holes-in-the-ground do not use such old-fashioned devices such as keys. The doors on them require you to lick the tongue sensor, then enter your secret code by touching the keypad with your feet. So you can't steal my room "keys"! Ha:D :D :D

    Anyway, here's the opening paragraph of the CPA's Magic the Gathering Story!


    One fine day, Gerrard (Boo! Hiss!) was walking down the streets of Benalia. It was chilly, with a slight breeze blowing in from the north, but Gerrard was oblivious to the rustling trees and leaves. He had too much on his mind to worry about such trivial things as that. In his hand, he held.. um, "something" that belonged to Hanna. From off in the distance, he heard the cry of elves. He rushed off to their rescue, making sure to tuck Hanna's "something" in the pocket of his tunic.

    There!
    (- Steve -)
  3. Bob Idiot

    Then a giant boulder fell on him, and he was crushed to death. Everyone in the world gave a standing ovation.
    Then Hanna's "something" rolled out of his pocket (which was not crushed), and was found by...
  4. train The Wildcard!!!...

    a horde of Mogg goblins all falling on top of what appeared to be a garter. Blood flew everywhere as the goblins fought amongst each other to finally hold the garter in their hands.

    Little did they know this garter originally belonged to Tahngarth. It was given to Hanna when she defeated Mirri in a mud wrestling match to see who could polish the minotaur's horn.

    Suddenly the elves Gerrard had heard in the distance came running down the street screaming at the top of their lungs. A herd of Stampeding Wildebeasts was right behind them and headed straight for the Moggs.

    When...
  5. Jigglypuff Big Cute Pink Thing

    Good, Bob killed off Gerrard, just like I had hoped.


    To continue the story:

    When suddenly, Hanna appeared out of nowhere. She grabbed the garter and slashed all of the Moggs and the Wildebeests to death with her long red fingernails. "I'm glad I was able to recover this," she thought to herself. "I've got to meet a 'client' at the inn in 15 minutes."

    (- Steve -)
    With this post, I own the last post in each of the Magic-related forums.
  6. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Hanna made it to the inn and was ready to check. The clerk was nowhere to be seen, so Hanna rang the bell...

    From around the corner "Tim" appeared asking how he could be of service. Hanna told him she was meeting someone and needed the key to room #69. Tim, looked solem for a second and told her it was occupied. Hanna's face flushed with fury. She backhanded Tim, sending him flying into the Scroll Rack next to the Spellbook and Jayemdae Tome.

    Hanna rushed up the stairs and down the hall... She burst throught he door and found what she disgusted most, Mirri and Tahngarth in each other's arms... Hanna lunged forward...
  7. Thallid Ice Cream Man 21sT CeNTuRy sChIZoId MaN

    ...only to be distracted by a set of nice attributes on Tarny' there. She gazed open-mouthed, and as she did so the makeup and wig fell off, revealing Hanna to be Volrath...
  8. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Unmask-ed for who she was... Tahngarth's face filled with rage and confusion... He had comitted an act forbidden to all minotaur. He realized he had actually been with a non-female being... He had been with Volrath, many a time... His stomach started to turn as he tought about what would happen to him if another minotaur found out... He would be placed in front of the Tribal Flames Council, and sentenced to take part in a calf fry...

    Meanwhile Mirri and Volrath...
  9. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    One fine day, Gerrard (Boo! Hiss!) was walking down the streets of Benalia. It was chilly, with a slight breeze blowing in from the north, but Gerrard was oblivious to the rustling trees and leaves. He had too much on his mind to worry about such trivial things as that. In his hand, he held.. um, "something" that belonged to Hanna. From off in the distance, he heard the cry of elves. He rushed off to their rescue, making sure to tuck Hanna's "something" in the pocket of his tunic.
    Then a giant boulder fell on him, and he was crushed to death. Everyone in the world gave a standing ovation.
    Then Hanna's "something" rolled out of his pocket (which was not crushed), and was found by...
    a horde of Mogg goblins all falling on top of what appeared to be a garter. Blood flew everywhere as the goblins fought amongst each other to finally hold the garter in their hands.

    Little did they know this garter originally belonged to Tahngarth. It was given to Hanna when she defeated Mirri in a mud wrestling match to see who could polish the minotaur's horn.

    Suddenly the elves Gerrard had heard in the distance came running down the street screaming at the top of their lungs. A herd of Stampeding Wildebeasts was right behind them and headed straight for the Moggs.
    When suddenly, Hanna appeared out of nowhere. She grabbed the garter and slashed all of the Moggs and the Wildebeests to death with her long red fingernails. "I'm glad I was able to recover this," she thought to herself. "I've got to meet a 'client' at the inn in 15 minutes."
    Hanna made it to the inn and was ready to check. The clerk was nowhere to be seen, so Hanna rang the bell...

    From around the corner "Tim" appeared asking how he could be of service. Hanna told him she was meeting someone and needed the key to room #69. Tim, looked solem for a second and told her it was occupied. Hanna's face flushed with fury. She backhanded Tim, sending him flying into the Scroll Rack next to the Spellbook and Jayemdae Tome.

    Hanna rushed up the stairs and down the hall... She burst throught he door and found what she disgusted most, Mirri and Tahngarth in each other's arms... Hanna lunged forward...
    ...only to be distracted by a set of nice attributes on Tarny' there. She gazed open-mouthed, and as she did so the makeup and wig fell off, revealing Hanna to be Volrath...
    Unmask-ed for who she was... Tahngarth's face filled with rage and confusion... He had comitted an act forbidden to all minotaur. He realized he had actually been with a non-female being... He had been with Volrath, many a time... His stomach started to turn as he tought about what would happen to him if another minotaur found out... He would be placed in front of the Tribal Flames Council, and sentenced to take part in a calf fry...

    Meanwhile Mirri and Volrath...
  10. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Meanwhile, Mirri and Volrath got into a heated arguement over the mechanics of Sixth edition rules, and the two start fighting, eventually rolling into a vat of Kool-Aid that just happened to be there. Finding themselves in a sticky mess, they began to laugh about the whole thing, when Volrath notices that a stiva has pierced his chest.

    Volrath: This just isn't one of my better days.

    After disposing of Volrath's bloody corpse, Tahngrath turns on the TV. He flicks through the channels and notices a news story about Gerrard being killed by a boulder. Mirri looks devastated, while Tahngarth shrugs his shoulders and says "Eh" and changes the channel to........



    Ransac, cpa trash man
  11. Zero T Katama Silver Shadow Guardian

    The Dominarian StupidButt show, starring Squee. Tahngarth laughed as only a Minotaur can seeing Squee doing many stupid stunts, failing, dying, then getting up to do them all over then. Mirri, who was disgusted at how juvenile Tahngarth was being, threw her knife into the TV, destroying it. Then...
  12. Jigglypuff Big Cute Pink Thing

    Then Gerrard's ghost appeared. He flew around and around and around the room a million times until he finally decided to speak.

    "Why did you destroy the TV before the Dominarian StupidButt show was over? And why didn't you watch the news story about me being killed by a boulder, you stupid idiots!"

    Unfortunately for Gerrard's ghost, neither Mirri or Tahngarth were listening to him. They were too busy trying to rebuild the TV after Mirri's sudden outburst of emotion. Gerrard's ghost grabbed his ghostly sword and slowly advanced on Tahngarth's turned back.

    (- Steve -)
  13. train The Wildcard!!!...

    The ghost moved forward, sword raised high in the air to stab straight through Tarny... when it tripped on squee's toy. The sword went into mirri's back and Tarny watched it emerge from her chest.

    He stood there in awe, turned around and no one was there. Mirri crumbled to the floor. No blade was in her chest, lifeless...

    Tarny let out a sigh and said, "well, guess i'll have to go find me another woman for tonight..."

    He gathered his things and strolled out of the room into the hallway. As he walked down the stairs and past the desk, he apologized for damages to the room, and told Tim to put the repairs on mirri's tab...
    As he turned to leave the doors to the inn flew open and there stood...
  14. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    ....the Infernal Spawn of Evil!!!!!! Tahngarth cowers at the allmighty-yet-timidly-cute mouse of DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

    Tarngarth: Please don't kill me!!!!!!!!! I.......I need to get laid and can't die now!!!

    *Tahngarth wets himself and begins to cry. The Infernal Spawn of Evil asks Tahngarth one question that could determine Tahngarth's fate.*

    I.S.E.: Do you have any marshmallows for my cocoa?

    Tahngarth: Um, no.


    *After cleaning up the bloody mess that insued, the I.S.E. looks at Tim and.........


    Ransac, cpa trash man
  15. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    One fine day, Gerrard (Boo! Hiss!) was walking down the streets of Benalia. It was chilly, with a slight breeze blowing in from the north, but Gerrard was oblivious to the rustling trees and leaves. He had too much on his mind to worry about such trivial things as that. In his hand, he held.. um, "something" that belonged to Hanna. From off in the distance, he heard the cry of elves. He rushed off to their rescue, making sure to tuck Hanna's "something" in the pocket of his tunic.
    Then a giant boulder fell on him, and he was crushed to death. Everyone in the world gave a standing ovation.
    Then Hanna's "something" rolled out of his pocket (which was not crushed), and was found by...
    a horde of Mogg goblins all falling on top of what appeared to be a garter. Blood flew everywhere as the goblins fought amongst each other to finally hold the garter in their hands.

    Little did they know this garter originally belonged to Tahngarth. It was given to Hanna when she defeated Mirri in a mud wrestling match to see who could polish the minotaur's horn.

    Suddenly the elves Gerrard had heard in the distance came running down the street screaming at the top of their lungs. A herd of Stampeding Wildebeasts was right behind them and headed straight for the Moggs.
    When suddenly, Hanna appeared out of nowhere. She grabbed the garter and slashed all of the Moggs and the Wildebeests to death with her long red fingernails. "I'm glad I was able to recover this," she thought to herself. "I've got to meet a 'client' at the inn in 15 minutes."
    Hanna made it to the inn and was ready to check. The clerk was nowhere to be seen, so Hanna rang the bell...

    From around the corner "Tim" appeared asking how he could be of service. Hanna told him she was meeting someone and needed the key to room #69. Tim, looked solem for a second and told her it was occupied. Hanna's face flushed with fury. She backhanded Tim, sending him flying into the Scroll Rack next to the Spellbook and Jayemdae Tome.

    Hanna rushed up the stairs and down the hall... She burst throught he door and found what she disgusted most, Mirri and Tahngarth in each other's arms... Hanna lunged forward...
    ...only to be distracted by a set of nice attributes on Tarny' there. She gazed open-mouthed, and as she did so the makeup and wig fell off, revealing Hanna to be Volrath...
    Unmask-ed for who she was... Tahngarth's face filled with rage and confusion... He had comitted an act forbidden to all minotaur. He realized he had actually been with a non-female being... He had been with Volrath, many a time... His stomach started to turn as he tought about what would happen to him if another minotaur found out... He would be placed in front of the Tribal Flames Council, and sentenced to take part in a calf fry...

    Meanwhile, Mirri and Volrath got into a heated arguement over the mechanics of Sixth edition rules, and the two start fighting, eventually rolling into a vat of Kool-Aid that just happened to be there. Finding themselves in a sticky mess, they began to laugh about the whole thing, when Volrath notices that a stiva has pierced his chest.

    Volrath: This just isn't one of my better days.

    After disposing of Volrath's bloody corpse, Tahngrath turns on the TV. He flicks through the channels and notices a news story about Gerrard being killed by a boulder. Mirri looks devastated, while Tahngarth shrugs his shoulders and says "Eh" and changes the channel to........

    The Dominarian StupidButt show, starring Squee. Tahngarth laughed as only a Minotaur can seeing Squee doing many stupid stunts, failing, dying, then getting up to do them all over then. Mirri, who was disgusted at how juvenile Tahngarth was being, threw her knife into the TV, destroying it. Then...

    Then Gerrard's ghost appeared. He flew around and around and around the room a million times until he finally decided to speak.

    "Why did you destroy the TV before the Dominarian StupidButt show was over? And why didn't you watch the news story about me being killed by a boulder, you stupid idiots!"

    Unfortunately for Gerrard's ghost, neither Mirri or Tahngarth were listening to him. They were too busy trying to rebuild the TV after Mirri's sudden outburst of emotion. Gerrard's ghost grabbed his ghostly sword and slowly advanced on Tahngarth's turned back.

    The ghost moved forward, sword raised high in the air to stab straight through Tarny... when it tripped on squee's toy. The sword went into mirri's back and Tarny watched it emerge from her chest.

    He stood there in awe, turned around and no one was there. Mirri crumbled to the floor. No blade was in her chest, lifeless...

    Tarny let out a sigh and said, "well, guess i'll have to go find me another woman for tonight..."

    He gathered his things and strolled out of the room into the hallway. As he walked down the stairs and past the desk, he apologized for damages to the room, and told Tim to put the repairs on mirri's tab...
    As he turned to leave the doors to the inn flew open and there stood...

    ....the Infernal Spawn of Evil!!!!!! Tahngarth cowers at the allmighty-yet-timidly-cute mouse of DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

    Tarngarth: Please don't kill me!!!!!!!!! I.......I need to get laid and can't die now!!!

    *Tahngarth wets himself and begins to cry. The Infernal Spawn of Evil asks Tahngarth one question that could determine Tahngarth's fate.*

    I.S.E.: Do you have any marshmallows for my cocoa?

    Tahngarth: Um, no.

    *After cleaning up the bloody mess that insued, the I.S.E. looks at Tim and.........
  16. train The Wildcard!!!...

    says - Sorry 'bout dat... I need Marshmallows for my cocoa, you got some for me, or do I have to ping your little fanny!!!...

    Tim - "No, please. no, I have some here next to my... Purging Scythe!!!

    The Scythe is thrown at I.S.E as Tim peels his skin off and reveals that he's really an Elvish Impersonator!!! The sight of Blue Suede Shoes completely Bamboozled I.S.E.

    That's when the Impersonator pulled out a Toasted Peanut-Butter and Banana sandwich and threw it right at I.S.E.'s butt...
  17. Jigglypuff Big Cute Pink Thing

    Fortunately for our cute-mouse friend, he was able to recover in time to leap out of the way of the sandwich. It crashed into the back wall and exploded in a mess of bread and peanut-butter.

    "I knew it was one of your TPBB Bombs!" the mouse screamed out. He pulled out two marshmallows from his cocoa and formed them into his own secret weapon: The Ultra-Super-Mambo-Tango-Foxtrot Marshmallow Bombs! (I'll give a prize to the first person who can tell me which game I just referenced there. PM's only, please)

    Just as the I.S.E. was about to hurl the bomb, a mysterious cloaked figure appeared from the hole in the wall. He revealed himself to be..

    TIMMY, POWER GAMER! (da-da-da, dramatic reverb) (Hey, I'll give another prize to the person who can tell me what show I just referenced there. Once again, PM's only, please)


    Timmy took out his Bone Flute and [censored]. After he was finished, he pulled out his Leviathan and washed the Elvish Impersonator out to sea. He then took the I.S.E. into his pocket and flew off to Rath, where he met up with...

    (- Steve -)
  18. train The Wildcard!!!...

    The hill giant from 5th edition...

    Timmy pulled out his bone flute and before he could say anything...

    Giant - Man that's huge!!!
    TPG - Yeah, It comes in handy from time to time.
    Giant - Can I blow it?
    TPG - Do you know how to work one of these?
    Giant - Your options are let me blow your bone(flute - you dirt minded...) or I use you as my personal rag doll!!!

    Then...
  19. Jigglypuff Big Cute Pink Thing

    Timmy, Power Gamer had a sudden Panic Attack. He grabbed his Bone Flute and took off out of the hole that he had come in. He picked his way carefully through the Overgrowth, hearing the shrill cries of the Sengir Bats that were in the Peat Bogs. He ran past an Abandoned Outpost and took a mighty Leap over a Glacial Chasm. While he was running, the Pale Moon shone over a Winter Sky. He continued to run, knowing that the Hill Giant was right behind him. He reached a large Castle with Jabari's Banner flying high and proud over the Parapets. As he was admiring the view, he suddenly tripped over a fallen Utopia Tree. He was Paralyzed for a moment, but he made a Miraculous Recovery just as a Volcanic Hammer slammed into the ground beside him. Finally, Timmy was Sick and Tired and he could not continue his run. He shouted for some Peace Talks, but the Hill Giant Paid No Heed. The Hill Giant grabbed a Lava Axe and hurled it at Timmy's head. Timmy was sure that he was about to Perish, but suddenly a Phantasmal Mount appeared and Timmy took Flight. Unfortunately, the Hill Giant grew some Ghostly Wings and took off after him...

    (- Steve -)
    That's 28 card titles.
  20. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Nicely done... puff... I'll continue it soon if no one else does...

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