Ransac/Monkey 2004

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
That's right. After an unpredictable loss in the 2000 presidential election(and after spending the last two years trying to find where monkey ran off to), I am starting my presidential campaign early, so I can get a head start.


As president I vow to use more popcorn makers in the topic of biological warfare and bring the Hamburglar to justice!!!!

I now wish to bring up some old campaign ads of mine

Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for change. A change that let's the people be heard, when you cast your ballot for the presidential election in less than one month. Who will the people's choice be? Bush, with his inability to speak english? Or Gore, who the shear thought of him makes our eyelids close. No. The people have spoken, and the people's choice is: Ransac. Ransac, with his debonair and street smarts. Ransac, with his ability to cause peace in countries that don't get cable. Ransac, with a great choice of monkey fetish web pages.

So, when you cast your ballot, remember to vote for Ransac.............or you will go to hell.


Ransac...........who else?


Ransac/Monkey 2000
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Why not just vote for Ransac? With his panache, good looks, and ability to kiss babies, He's MY choice to run the country. He has already promised to raise minimum wages and has a plan for the National Debt. Yes, Ransac. He's the one. he won't leave in the rain without an umbrella, or at least some galoshes. And who cares if his running mate is a 1-foot tall, 37 pound chimp? I sure don't.


Ransac, vote for him, or no more popsicles
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Impressed? I'm sure you are. If you wish to send a donation, please round it up to the next $10,000 to make everything nice and neat, please. Thank you.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
S

Svenmonkey

Guest
One foot tall, 37 pound chimp? That's pretty small. Like a baby. Chimps get about 4'6" and 250 lbs. I think, because I know one can rip a humans limbs off in close combat.

And how's about you choose a certain other monkey as your running mate?
 
S

Svenmonkey

Guest
Like an umbilical cord?

*In an mocking kiddy voice* You're running with a baby!
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Are you saying that you're......*GASP!!!!!*...........prejudice against midget chimps!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Bobo!


*Bobo, the monkey, runs out and knocks Svenmonkey unconscious with a wet noodle.*


That's.....not what I meant Bobo. I wanted you to hug him. Oh well.


*Ransac sets a Hershey bar down next to Svenmonkey's body.*


That should take care of any medical expenses.



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
as if calling him Bobo isn't prejudiced enough!

MrXarvox strides in flanked by the "society for the rights of small-proportioned primates", who put Bobo onto a plane to northern Ohio for reintroduction into his natural habitat.

MrXarvox is then eaten. How, you ask? Nobody but the Plant King knows, and he isn't talking. He's a plant!
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
just like in that episode of Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction?
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
Vote for Istanbul for Tyrant in 2004. Or don't, I'll just take over anyway.
 
T

train

Guest
Ransac - Has the chimp ever been caught with interns, smoked but not inhaled, misspelled vegetable names, gone to AA or anything to get in trouble???

In other words, Does the monkey ever need a spanking???:eek:
 
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