"The Toast"
That night we spent in your room
Drinking blackberry wine,
We had a mind to raise a toast
To qualities we liked the most
About each other. You and I,
We had music, wine, and pot,
But somehow in that time, forgot
The course we'd planned to take that night.
Now here, in my own room, I write,
Sitting now with pen in hand,
Taking in the rataplan
Of rain against my bedroom window,
I think of things I might have said
Had our mission in our heads
Remained, and had we followed through,
I know what I'd have said to you.
"Your openness," would be the first
Of your gifts I'd slake my thirst
In honor of, the way you have forever
Of taking in the world you never
Know, or knew,
But think you do until you have
A glass of wine and set your mind
To work. I go, "Now you."
And you'd say something bright and sweet.
Gently we'd let our glasses meet.
Right then, I'd say, "I love the way
You smile when our eyes connect.
It makes me wish I could perfect
My timing to ensure I'd see
That smile each time you look at me.
I'd raise my glass and you'd reply
With something so kind that I
Would swear there was a signal there
Of something more, but I'd not dare
Presume too much. We're friends, I know,
But my head's not always on straight, so
I make mistakes like these, but please
Excuse my silence as now I pause
To recollect my thoughts. My cause
Is true. But the burden's mine.
It's my fault I misread the sign.
Let's drink once more, "To Platonism!"
We toast, but then it's Onanism
That creeps into my mental shrine.
I slip and gulp, not sip, the wine,
Surprised to shame at what I've built,
I laugh to hide my silly guilt
And add, "I love your laugh,
When I make a little joke not half
So wild as you make it out to be.
The snickers and giggles tickle me
Much more than getting high on grass;"
I'd drink to that, then raise my glass
Again and shout, "Your mouth!
Your voice! Your eyes! Your hair!
The way you walk! The styles you wear!"
What is this effect you have on my
Equilibrium, that somehow I
Find strength to hold on to virtue
No matter how I f***ng want you?
Oh, sh*t.
I'm drunk.
Did I just say that bit out loud?
Have I gone further than allowed?
Is it too late to take it back?
Have I put our friendship off the track
That it's been on these past two years?
Would you, could you, allay these fears
Of mine? It overwhelms me such
To think I might have said too much.
Just tell me that you understand,
And resist an urge to reprimand
Me, even if you must forget
I said these things.
I don't regret them, though, those words.
I don't wish they'd gone unheard,
Unsaid, unthought, unknown, unless...
They've caused you some unfair distress,
Under which circumstance, I'll say,
"Pretend it never happened. Stay
With me a while. We'll drink the last
Of this dark wine, and in the past
We'll leave my comic, foolish game
So we can go on just the same
As though I'd never said a thing.
We'll toast and let the glasses ring.
