It's HERE!!!!!!!! Watch Hell on the CPA TV Network!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by fuzzy510, Jan 5, 2001.

  1. fuzzy510 I Don't REALLY Exist

    Welcome to...the Newark, New Jersey McDonald's!!! This is the scene for the new CPA Reality Show, Hell. Our players will divide into two teams:

    Team 1:
    Hawaiian Mage
    Thallid Ice Cream Man
    Gidget (The Taco Bell Chihuahua)

    Team 2:

    Here's the deal. Each episode, there will be certain situations and possible actions. There IS a correct action (it may be weird...). You will PM the answers, and you will get points for each one. Whichever team has the fewest points must vote someone out of McDonald's.

    When we start, each person has $20 and one deck of Magic cards (Their primary deck). You must make this last for every episode! Good luck! Episode 1 will be...right now!
  2. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    No, you turd! I will cut you! You made me not on Ransac's team! HOW COULD YOU????

  3. fuzzy510 I Don't REALLY Exist

    OK, here we go.

    For both teams:

    You've just arrived, and you're locked in the McDonald's. You're hungry. What do you do?

    A: Buy yourself a Big Mac.
    B: Continually pound the windows begging somebody to break in.
    C: Challenge someone to a game of Magic.
    D: Attempt to kill the host.
    E: Tell people that you have no idea why you ever decided to join this hellhole.

    You may talk to the other members of your team in order to come to a group decision. I will randomly pick Gidget's answer.

    Contestants, PM me your answer by 4:00 PM EST Monday. Good luck!

    [Edited by fuzzy510 on 01-05-01 at 09:19 PM]
  4. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    OOOH! I know that answer! F: monkey slapper?

    Question #2:

    What is the average size of your butt-gnomes?

  5. Teferi Veteran CPA Member,Capt. Nemo

    [me]grumbles "i'm on the loser team" grumble grumble[/me]

    Fuzzy ushould give people till monday, i have don't have a lot of time and other people probaly don't either, so u should extent all the deadlines :)
  6. Cateran Emperor Passed On

    Hrmm. Methinks this'll be something to keep an eye on ;)
  7. Hawaiian mage CPA symbiod

    I'll buy myself a Big Mac, then I'll take off the seeds on the burger and plant them in my skin. Soon... I will have unlimited food! Hwaa ha ha ha!
  8. fuzzy510 I Don't REALLY Exist

    The best answer was A. (Buying yourself a Big Mac)

    Here are the responses, and points (Out of 5):

    Team 1:

    H-Mage: I'll buy myself a Big Mac, then I'll take off the seeds on the burger and plant them in my skin. Soon... I will have unlimited food! Hwaa ha ha ha! (OK...Since this is right, 5 points)

    Gidget: B (Ha! 2 Points)

    Nobody else responded.

    Team 2:

    K9Archmage: YOu suck! Why am i not on ransac's team? Oh well, i'll have to live with it. The answer is E: jar of almonds. (Nope. E isn't even jar of almonds! 0 points.)

    Teferi: F: A Jar of Almonds :D (Stop smiling. You're wrong. 0 points.)

    Bob: I'll a: buy a big mac. (Very good. 5 points.)

    Nobody else responded.

    So, we now have out totals:

    Team 1: 7 points
    Team 2: 5 points

    That means that Team 2 has until 4:00 PM EST on 1/10 to cast their votes for who they wish to remove from the McDonald's. I will randomly fill in the votes for the ones who do not vote.

  9. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Interview with Ransac*

    What do I think of the other cast members? They're alright, I guess. If anyone touches my magic trash can, though, they'll be wishing for marshmallows, that's for darn sure.

    Um, as far as competition goes, I wish for everyone to know that I will do anything it takes to make this team win, shy of beating myself up, and that IS negotiable.

    Apollo has a nice way of keeping the team focused, when we were locked in McDonald's, we immediately focused on making the bathroom area our camp, and believe me, it paid off. He started charging the other team for use of our facilities.

    Almindhra kind of freaks me out. She's got this wierd aura around her and she seems to enjoy casting spells on the other team. Not in their favor, of course, but downright freaky.

    Hawaiian Mage is kind of cool. However, when he tried to grow Big Mac's on his skin, he didn't shower, so I had to break the bad news to him by handing him a can of lysol.

    T.I.C.M is my favorite part of the team. If it wasn't for him and his secret supply of ice cream that he would share with only me, I would have gone insane minutes ago.

    Gidget, I don't know what y ciuero, but yo cieuro to beat him up. He peed on my sleeping bag.

    As for the other team, I think they have it together, with the exception that the whole team is composed of people like me. THAT will be their downfall.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  10. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    Question #2: Gidget has just mawled Fuzzy510 to death for going to mcdonalds, and not to taco bell. What do you do?

    a: measure the average size of your butt-gnomes
    b: Take out your collection of nose goblins
    c: mawl gidget to death
    d: stare at pictures of britney spears
    e: jar of almonds

  11. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Um, even though that quesiton probably isn't real, I'll say C, bacause everybody hates that da*n dog.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  12. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Since everybody is obviously sleeping, Ransac takes advantage of the situation and kills the dumb chihuahua. He then replaces it with a robotic version of the dog that he controls and he posts the answers for the dog.*

    *The next morning, everyone is wondering why their breakfast burritos taste like dog.*


    *When they realize what Ransac did, they enjoy their meal even more.*


    Translation:I need to pee.

    Me:Um, let's go to the other camp. They have sleeping bags over there.

    *After Robo-Gidget pees on K9Archmage's sleeping bag, Ransac and the others laugh at the other team for making their team flag a pair of nanokill's underpants.....with nanokill still in them.*

    That's all to post from my team.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  13. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    [me] hands nanokill a can of rust-b-gone. Suddenly, he notices that his cramped metal parts can move again! Wait, wrong story. K9Archmages actually pours a can of can-o-rust on robo-gidget. THe mech-dog turns brown. Ransac mistakes it for a pile of poop, and eats it.[/me]

    ahhhh... WEll, NOW THAT'S REVENGE!

  14. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    Hmm, oh, well.

    *New robo-gidget comes out.*

    We can't lose him until we vote him off.

    That.....wasn't.....poo. Oh god..........

    *Ransac hurls.*

    I love eating poo(j/k).

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  15. K9Archmage He Might Be Giants

    Damn robo-gidget. oh well, i guess. Remember, though, i can reincarnate the real gidget whenever i want.

  16. TURD CUTTER!!! Mr. Happy

    Hey k9, the answer to your questions D: Look at pictures of Britney Spears. Do they have those pictures in McDonalds? Hey Fuzzy, i thought i wasn't on this show, and i would have to wait till next season. oh well.
  17. TURD CUTTER!!! Mr. Happy

    First, I sell my magic deck to Ransac for $15. Then, being the idiot that he is, i buy it back from him for $5, giving me a net profit of $10. With the $10, i buy a medium fries, and with the rest of the money i buy McFlurries. i eat the fries and one of the McFlurries myself, and throw the rest of the McFlurries at the other camp. a huge food fight breaks out, and the management of McDonalds yells at us. I hide in the bathroom stall while Team 1 has to clean up the mess. When they are done cleaning up, i laugh at them. i end up with two black eyes.
  18. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *Ransac, upset at the advantage TURD CUTTER!!! took while Ransac was drunk, Ransac walks up to TURD CUTTER!!!, kicks him in the nuts, takes all the cards and money he has, and kicks him in the nuts again.*

    *TURD CUTTER!!!'s team comes out*

    T.C.'s team:WE VOTE HIM OFF!!!! WE VOTE HIM OFF!!!!

    *TURD CUTTER!!! phases out of existance. Well, actually, he is just kicked out of the McDonald's, but he still is humiliated.*

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  19. FoundationOfRancor The Gunslinger


    I didnt know that...

  20. fuzzy510 I Don't REALLY Exist

    Due to the lack of responses and the dysfunctionality of this show, I declare the winner of the $1,000,000,000 prize....Ransac! For being the only one to have any sense! Congrats! By the way, the host gets a 20% cut before the 75% tax rate ($200,000,000) and the 50% transport fee ($100,000,000) which is assessed after taxes, and then there's federal taxes ($1.72)...oh well! At least I get $200,000,000!

    [me]gloats about how he has more money then Ransac even though Ransac did more work and really deserves all of the money.[/me]

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