Free Me Away!

[DÛke]

So I had been in a relationship...or...now that I have awoken from over 7 years of sleeping...now...we stand at the doorway of 2005, a year in which I have promised myself this: that there is nothing more important in life than being up-front and sincere with one's self above all else. No more will I keep words in silence, whether out of love or out of revenge. And I am starting this approaching new year by firstly saying that I hope everyone had a thoughtful, slow, meaningful and aware year and are ready to embrace this new year with nothing less than expecting only the best from ourselves and others, in sickness and in health, unto death.

This...written expression I wrote but few days ago...which encompasses 2004 for me, which to me began specifically on Feb 7, 2004...and which ended but a week or two before Christmas...

Shallow Winter

In Memory of James Geiser

Days go by and every letter I had written
Tears away into tears in my eyes
As I cannot escape the longings of my every hour.
So many times I try
Passionately
To tell myself that here love never mattered,
For we are apart in space and spirit,
And you are moving on faster than this shallow winter
In which you left me barren and all so alone,
Empty and my love no more.

So many times I try…
Your face...
Sets my heart ablaze
With desires long unsaid and secret
In silence and contempt.
I try but the mirror fails to deceive:
“I love you”...
Escapes my lips in broken whispers
unheard unknown.

"The heart wants what the heart wants," you say,
"And that’s the truth of man eternally."
O how priceless then it must be!
When this heart of mine I silence for the sake of hearts!
But you turn away impatiently, and my
Ghastly presence
Quickly became a memory, buried in shadow and snow
With the harsh cold of this shallow winter.

Here the place we sat that day where first I saw your face.
"I gave my all," it meant nothing.
Quickly came and quickly gone
Like thunder flash and thunder bolt of a
Hesitant
Winter
In which this heart grasped for warmth
Under the coldness of a world that judges
By “the seen” and “the sensible,”
A love which ended whilst it had never
Begun
In my shallow winter.

 

[Istanbul]

This above all:
To thine own self be true,
for it must follow as dost the night the day,
that canst not then be false to any man.

- Shakespeare, _Hamlet_

 

[Oversoul]

Originally posted by Istanbul
This above all:
To thine own self be true,
for it must follow as dost the night the day,
that canst not then be false to any man.

- Shakespeare, _Hamlet_

Polonius is a great character. He says things that are so profound but seems to do his utmost to contradict them.

 

[DÛke]

Memento Mori (December 31)

In Memory of Man

The shine of these farthest stars glows ever faintly
Beneath the City of Light in which light is scarce.
Laughter and rejoice fills the farthest corners,
Though still peace I fail to find and blackness I sense
Beneath these smiling hearts of men…

“It’s all the same,” I’ve heard before, “illusions and ideals.”
“Man is what he sets out to be,” so they wrote,
“And there is nothing more to see…”
I refuse to believe! but I refuse to believe!
“Where are you?” I cry on my knees...

“There is always hope,” others claim…
So they utter with their words but in their thoughts
A different world is there to behold…
In their doings oh so many different deeds!
And I refuse to believe! I refuse to believe!
“Why have you forsaken me!”

I ask myself, “what keeps you here?”
This unbearable silence! of which I hear…
It answers so loud’ly and it leaves me cold…
I question no more. No more!
This growing Nothing! of which I feel…
He looms like a ghost
And kisses the days away
Till millennial tablets fall before him
And this joyous twilight sets in.

The greatest sin is committed every second
When one lives for the sake of living,
Having drowned in this world centuries ago
With a thousand hopes and a million cheers
And countless shattered dreams...
Madness in disguise, illusions and lies,
The basis of everyday life...

Maybe you could not live up to your creation
And now you aim randomly at your highest illusions
And even at these your arrows miss every time
And when you've failed all your tries to reach the heavens
Wars you declare on your suns and stars, and you call this
"Overcoming."

“O my human! where have you wandered today!”
“O my human! where are you going tomorrow!”
“Tell me...tell me...what for?”
“That which you have lived for days before
What matters it if not for it you let go?”
How you choose to live instead, having lost
Even your imaginary gods...
Is that not the greatest fall?

 

[Rando]

Memento Mori

I collect memento mori. I have some well preserved Victorian wax wreaths and tin-type pictures of parnets holding thier dead children. I also have some nice human hair watch fobs...hair cut from the dead!

 

[Spiderman]

Hey Rando, what's up witcha lately?

 

[Rando]

Not a lot, just dropped by to see what was going on. I still do that from time to time.

All well?

 

[Spiderman]

As far as I know.

I can't remember, did you stop playing Magic?

 

[Rando]

No, I still play Type I and Type 1.5 (Legacy now, is it?) competatively (or at least as competatively as the vintage formats can be) and play in a large casual group most weekends.

I envision myself at the retirement center telling my toothless, applesauce slurping opponant that I'm swinging for the win.

 

[Nightstalkers]

I was in a relationship once... she left me for some dope she met online... And then the gal after that thinks that I'm still in love with the gal who left me for a guy off the net.


Oh, and the gal who dumped me for the guy she met online... He gets in her pants once and hasn't talked to her since. Big surprise, no?

 

[Notepad]

So he stole the girl just to try on women's clothing one time and found he didn't like it? Wow. That's kind of creepy, Night Stalker S...

 

[Oversoul]

Women's clothing often looks cool, but it usually won't fit you well and also it is I think way overpriced, especially the undergarments. I like my clothes much better as they are comfortable.