Flavor Text Submissions

[Istanbul]

Did anyone send in any flavor text submissions for Shock, Fear, and Naturalize? If so, and if you're willing to, post them here!

 

[Spiderman]

I moved over Ephraim's post from 9th Voting;

Originally posted by Ephraim
I'm working on flavour text submissions. So far I've submitted one for Naturalize, but I'm trying to come up with good pieces for Shock and Fear.

Naturalize
The whole of nature is incensed
Against deceit and artifice;
Let all her wrath be here condensed,
The lies of mages to dismiss.

I'll let y'all know if/when I come up with something for the other two.

FLASH OF INSPIRATION!

Fear
Fear not the petty demons
That doth reside in hell,
But rather fear the demons
Tht in thine heart doth dwell.

 

[Istanbul]

I hate to say it, but those are long enough to have a good chance of being dismissed outright. Remember, they specified that they wanted to keep it brief.

 

[train]

Here's my basics, and the thought in my head when thinking about them...

Naturalize: Now it's natural. (some druid admiring his work...)

Shock: What do you mean you didn't like that? (some goblin to another one...)

Fear: Sometimes it Grips you. Sometimes it Hits you. (person's expression)

 

[Oversoul]

The best flavor text on a red card was Pillage's...

 

[orgg]

As I'm becoming disenchanted with the whole 'you pick from chaff and/or wach Timmy pick the worst art' thing, I just submitted a poop joke for the flavor text of fear. I forget the exact wording, though I posted it elsewhere...

It'll loose. WotC doesn't want excrement jokes on their cards, even though it's considered 'PG-13' level.

 

[Istanbul]

Well, here's mine.

Naturalize
Tools and hexes, works of mages
All must fall 'neath nature's rages.

Fear
Only those with dead hearts can ignore the touch of fear.

Shock
The mage's corpse gave testament to his notes; he'd finished conducting his experiment.

 

[Notepad]

Why in the hell are they reprinting Fear? It is so many times worse than Dragon Shadow, which itself is a difficult card to use. Fear is just as bad as an Eager Cadet...except maybe in limited. Maybe.

 

[Chaos Turtle]

Hey Isty I like that Naturalize text. I hope to see it in the final vote.

 

[Ephraim]

Final Naturalize Submission:

The whole of nature is incensed
Against deceit and artifice;
Let all her wrath be here condensed,
The lies of mages to dismiss.

Final Fear Submission:

Fear not those petty devils
That deep in hell reside,
But rather fear the demons
That in thine heart abide.

Final Shock Submission:

A blinding flash, a deafening boom, then stupefying pain.

 

[Notepad]

I was gonna submit flavor text, but it looks like they didn't follow the guidelines:

Naturalize:
"Oh look...green still sucks."

Fear:
"Play this card and lose."
and
"New Oracle Text: Fear, BB: Discard a card from your hand."

Shock:
"Great for a weenie roast!...and not much else."

 

[Istanbul]

I wouldn't call Naturalize an example of how green sucks.
Claws of Wirewood, now...

Is the pun in my submission for Shock too obscure?

 

[Captain Caveman]

Naturalize: I am Omega!

Shock: Did that hurt?

Fear: Boo!

 

[Spiderman]

Originally posted by Istanbul
Is the pun in my submission for Shock too obscure?

For me it is...

 

[Notepad]

Agreed with Spidey's point. I don't get it. What, did the mage die because the spell actually sucks?

And as for Naturalize, I didn't mean it sucked. The context was more "Oh wow, ONE nice card. The rest still suck, however..."

 

[Istanbul]

Shock...is electricity...
The mage died because he 'conducted' his experiment...
Bleah.

 

[Chaos Turtle]

Ohhhhhh...

Now I feel dumb.

 

[Notepad]

/me SWIPES HAND TWO FEET OVER HIS HEAD!

Ooooh! Thanks for clarifying that, Isty! Pretty dang funny once it can be understood!

 

[Spiderman]

Sorry Isty, it's pretty good. I don't feel so bad that at least two others didn't get it, but I'm just bad at that sort of thing anyway - probably Mark Rosewater would like it

 

[Notepad]

Speaking of Rosewater, does anybody know exactly when that goofball wrote for Roseanne? I sometimes catch an episode or two when I'm bored and turn on Nick at Night. When I look through the end credits, I never see his name anywhere. Maybe Miss Barr / Mrs. Arnold ate the writer staff names?