ever feel messed up in the head? seriously

M

magicman_moe

Guest
latley ive been having these weird thoughts about life,death that sorta thing. its just that the last time ive had these thoughts i was depressed and it pissed me off cuz i try not to be weak minded and try to be strong but it hurts my mental projection of things alot sometimes. i get over it but i still feel empty inside alot of times.

sometimes when i get a headache from feeling too warm or from being in a place for too long i feel like im not living at all. i feel like a waste of space.

i dont know what it is i just get weirded out all of a sudden, and ill feel just fine but then all of a sudden,BOOM, there it is . and i feel uncomfortable with it.

am i having some kind of panic attack? im 21 but i feel like im going nowhere. and its just strange that all that im gonna accomplish is nothing and im gonna die at any moment. well not really die but just not really be here. i really dont know how to explain this,but, ill be lyin in my bed sometimes and all of a sudden this weird wave comes over me and i feel just strange for some reason.
mebbe yall can help me out.
its no big deal id just like to know if anyone else has ever felt this way before.

thanks alot.
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
Dude, I'm 25 (or I will be, in four and a half hours), and I can tell you that it's perfectly normal not to know what the hell you're doing.

To quote Baz Luhrman...

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know STILL don't.
 
M

magicman_moe

Guest
oh well its not so much that its just that ive been goin thru alot of dumb crap and im just tryin to get outta the house im in now. really oh well anyone elses thoughts

oh and ive heard that quote before somewhere else
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...you don't really have to look at death to be an enemy...you don't really know what might happen after you die...no one knows. Maybe we're dead right now, and we start livin' when we die...

You can't tell me I'm wrong, because you can't prove anything...I can't justify, because I have no prove...best is to leave it blank, and think it the way you want - think it positively, that's what I do.

...and about not knowing what's goin' on, or if you'll ever be worthy enough to do anything...or whatever...you know, you don't have to be a movie star or whatever to accomplish something or be remembered...in fact, you could live your life happier than most stars (they're all so depressed, believe me)...and that feeling your getting is just natural, it's just part of Human Nature...

...most people go through it...but it's up to the individual to decide if it dominates or fades away...
 
S

Sammy Dead-O

Guest
21 is a weird age to be at, so don't feel like there's something "wrong" with you just because a lot of weird insecurities start getting in your head. It's hard just to be human sometimes.

I dunno about the sudden panic attacks. It wouldn't hurt to ask a doctor about it sometime, although he or she might just hand you some antidepressants, and maybe you feel like you should avoid medicine. If the panicking continues or gets to be too much, don't feel bad about talking to an "authority" about it. I've been obsessive-compulsive most of my life, and I finally saw someone about it when I started to get really depressed at 21. Now I take medicine that helps me with both...it's not a bad thing; it's nice to be happy.
 
S

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
I'm no doctor, but when you say "empty inside", are you feeling loneliness? Depressed again?

Do you belong to any clubs, sports, activities?
 
C

Chaos Turtle

Guest
I recognize those feelings. I've had them for years, since late adolescence (I'm 30 now). I was about your age when I really began to think about my life and the "big picture," realizing that I didn't seem to fit anywhere. I was convinced that my life could end without anyone noticing. I felt like all the joy had been sucked out of my life. Times were rarely good, and when they seemed to be good, I felt like I was faking it, since I knew the "truth," which was that after all was said-and-done, I was still a hopeless nobody. I quit college and pretty much just settled into a years-long slump of depression, drugs, and other Bad Stuff.

Depression is normal, to a degree. It's when it becomes persistent, or chronic, that you know you have a problem. For me, a combination of medication (to stabilize my wild mood swings) and therapy (to learn how to look at my problems objectively, and deal with them) worked wonderfully. I'm still the crazy-philosophical person I was then, and I still have my periods of depression, but now I don't let it get me down so much, nor for as long a time.

Feelings of emptiness and loneliness are natural reaction to actualizing yourself in the world. The key is to keep it in perspective. Believe it or not, a lot of people feel that way. The better-adjusted ones understand this, and that their lives have meaning regardless of what their more worldly "accomplishments" might be.

Want to talk more? I'm easy to reach. Just click the email button under this post.

Best of luck.
 
R

Riva Iron-Grip

Guest
i get that alot. but sometimes i start to cry. for no real reason. cuz alot has happened to me in past 2-3 years(i'm 16). and i keep it ALL inside. my family isn't very friendly. all of a sudden, i'll start thinking about what's happened to me, then i'll fell like doing something really bad, hitting s*** and killing stuff, then i just start crying. After stuff like this happened, i started raving. it's the only way that i can get my mind off of what happens to me.

the only way to get rid of this crap. is to NOT hold it inside. trust me. it really hurts when it comes out. Cuz you'll be feeling fine, then you'll just start feeling like s***. I think that my sleeping habits are affected by this, cuz even if i go to bed a 9pm, i'll get up and 12 noon. it doesn't matter what time i get up. Sleeping and raving are the only ways that i can get out of this Hell called Life. Sure, some aspects of life are fun, but for the most part, life SUX. My mom( everyone's parents, if you suffer from these symptoms, is to blame) doesn't make it easy. You know, she'll sit there f***ing taunting me and taking crap out on me. For instance, this week i was a camp counselor for 6th grade science camp, and All of my kids stuff was stolen. Their money, their clothes, my money and clothes. So they were pissed off. So on Wednesday night, i let me vent. And 2 teachers that were patroling were listening to them talking. And they didn't say anything. Didn't tell us to stop or nuttin. Then, at 11:30pm, i get a knock on the door, and i'm told to pack my bags, and that my mom is on the way. He said that i was endangering the lives and safeties of my students. BULL!! Just cuz i let them talk what they want when their pissed isn't grounds for dismissal. Then, they told my mom that i was talking about lighting the camp on fire, and killing everybody. That is sooo stupid. I think that they didn't like me. mainly cuz i told them to stop praying, cuz i had 2-4 Jewish kids in my cabin. And the camp was held at a Catholic retreat place. They said that they can do what they want, and i told them that it was VERY inappropriate. So they started to ignore me. Plus, they asked me what church i went to, and i told them that i dont believe in god. So then they were REALLY pissed off. So now it's a political/religious battle. But i got kicked out on wednesday(2 days ago). My mom was pissed, and she isn't talking to me. It realllllly sux. It's been 2 days, and she has said like a totall of about 5 words to ME. Then she talks about me like i'm not even there. It's really DUMB. well pz out guys. sorry, i had to vent


luv, PLUR, and peace to all of those before and after us,


thomas
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...maybe you're feeling alone or different?

I have been into really powerful depressions before, and I still do at times...I just feel like the world can't contain me...no body is listening...no one cares...

...but I learned to deal with it, the hard way.

No matter what happens to you, don't ever think you're in a state that nobody has every experienced...I understand your depressions and feelings, but don't let it take you over, don't think that you're alone or weird because of these feelings...a lot experience such problems. I have too.

I've seen the worst...

...living with an abusive father, an absent mother, a careless, racist brother...and a young sister...how do you think all this makes me feel? How can I cope with a problem that is so powerful, that I can't tolerate it?

How does it feel like when people look at you differently, because of your skin color...because of your background?

A cheating father?

A hating brother?

You know, some might suggest someone to lean on friends...but friends can't help you through everything...how many times do you have to cry upon a shoulder...how many times can you argue?

Last year, when I was 17, my dad made me feel like no other person could make me feel...he just rained his hatred in a way that is so subtle...I swear, I don't cry easily, but...

...somethings you have to tear for...

When you're feeling whatever, and you dont' like it...just get out of your place...go into the pouring rain...scream out loud something you wanted to say...just run away...be crazy...just forget all about it...let it go...stare into the sky...yell...whoteva...

And DON'T think of life as a mission in which you have to prove to others that you're someone...don't think of anyone else as being superior. Live the way you want, because YOU want...do what you want...who cares what people say...they talk crap all the time...just be yourself, get one or two really good friends, a relationship...and that's it...that's all you need...FORGET the world...it's just so full of sh*t that you can't listen to most people anymore...

Heck, visit the CPA, we'll make sure to comfort you, because we're your freinds too...feel free to talk to anyone...
 
P

Pokemorpher

Guest
Man, I keep forgetting that whoever you're talking to could be anyone. Not just people my age. I'm only 15. Which would explain the "how about adding this card" when it would be nearly impossible for me to get it
 
M

magicman_moe

Guest
well it basically boils down to this


1.not outta my parents house yet.
been out once but some stuff happened and i had to come back.suprisingly it wasnt rent that got us out.

2.my brother has been messin with a freind of mines head and now hes all f***ed up and well this is what happened

i got pissed cuz my brother decides to be a dork and tear some posters on my wall.
so in response i ganked something outta his room and wasnt gonna give it back till he apologised. well that turned out to be my freinds' so now hes pissed at me and my bro is lying to alot of people i found out and bkowing alot of dumb meaningless bulls*** out of proportion and me and another freind have to correct those remarks.

3. ive quit smokin weed so i can pass a drug test. hehehe i havent had any for like a month and a half
it helps me relax, NOT to forget my problems that not why i smoke it or used to anyways.

4. i just got done watching charlies angels! my godits not a spiritual thing thugh i do belive in ghosts and the like.

oh i have thught about the theory that we are dead now and when we die we really start to live.
see im not afraid of death cuz i know it happens anyways unless im a highlander,which i highly doubt i am.
i listen to type o negative alot and fear factory hehehe. lots o heavy "im commin to kick your a**!" stuff.

mebe im crazy,OH by the way. talk about your strange iorny, id go ask the main doctor but get this, he dies of a heart attack in his sleep last night! i just found this out when i woke up and i thought to myself, wow how ironic.
doctor+sleep+heartattack=dead.
strange eh?
 
M

magicman_moe

Guest
hehehe sometimes i wanna have these two

everythings f**ked by pitchshifter

or replica by fear factory
 
G

Griffith_se

Guest
I think what Your describing is called an "Identity Crisis" if it persists you should really go see a doctor.

Let me ask, do you sit around and think:

Why am I here?
What's my purpose in life?
What is the meaning of life?

If so, those are the classic symptoms.
 
M

magicman_moe

Guest
dammit!
the songs i posted here were for the theme song post not this one!

well heres the thing this is what i was thinking of when i was depressed

am i even in this reality?

i might just be dead and not alive and i might just be talkin to ghosts

i do think the why am i here but in a why AM I here? kinda like i have no meaning and im just here cuz i was born

sometimes i dont think im even human im something else that has lost its memory and is confused on who or what i am.

i talk to alot of people who say there is nothing after death. that after you die you dont exist and there is nothing
and you dont exist now.

i feel like im lost for some reason and alot of stuff that people tell me sometimes are just making it up as they go along.

i feel like i am lied to alot.

just abunch of stuff im not too sure

what is an identity crisis?
 
H

Hawaiian mage

Guest
Heh heh... I'm the youngest person to post on this thread so far, and almost none of this information is new too me.

WHat I've found really helps me out of depression is realizing that nothing matters. Yeah, that big picture thing that CT was talking about, you would think it depressing but only if you don't take on the good aspects.
Life has no obligations, so you can do anything you want and not be pennalized. Life is all just a game that you can play how ever you want, you are really the only thing that matters becuase your the only person, as far as you know, that exists.

I'm not saying to go out on killing sprees and start robbing banks, but if you ever wanted to you have the option. I find this conforting myself, don't know about you.
 
G

Gerode

Guest
I feel like the only person here that's always been at peace with myself. I do have a few friends that seem to get into such moods on a semi-regular basis, though. It scares me when they go into deep depression and have "life sucks" attitudes. I'm younger than most people who have posted before, so such a period will probably happen sooner or later. But then again, H-Mage seems to show that age doesn't matter a great deal. I guess it's how a person handles their stress and depression that counts.
 
A

arhar

Guest
Heh I can certainly relate to this, I've posted a similar thread here (although a long time ago).

Just think of it this way: You don't owe jack to anybody. You don't have to look at other people and think: oh, they're successful, they know what to do with their lives, and I'm not. Remember, the most important thing for you is to do what YOU want. Think about something that makes you happy, and DO IT. Do not care about what others may think of it. And about accomplishing something with your life - it's the same deal here. You don't have to invent a cure for AIDS to think that you lived your life not in vain. Again - the only person you're living your life for is you. If you live your life in happiness, doing what you like - you accomplished everything and more.

Oh and since everybody's posting their ages for comparison, I'll be 20 in July.
 
L

Landkiller

Guest
Hey, I'm 19. Anyway, I suggest that you figure something out and go with it. I almost joined the Air Force. If I passed the Drug Test, maybe I'll join. If not, cool anyway. But, as long as you are in a changing situation where you can control your future to some degree you can hope for better days to come. Get money. Move out. Go to college. Get mad money.
 
C

Chaos Turtle

Guest
First, a request: I understand the need to vent. I really do. When I really get going, I swear and glare, and I think that's good. But. While venting on these boards, if you feel you must swear, at least use *'s so that we can get the point without offending anyone who'd prefer not to see "mature" language. Particularly, we don't want kid's parents seeing that kind of thing and forbidding them to return. Thanks.

Now, there are a couple of you, at least, who seem to be having some real trouble at home. Anyone who has parents that ridicule, belittle, or otherwise intimidate their kids, or undermine their self-worth, I sympathize. That's totally inappropriate behavior, and the cause is not you; it is the parents. You're getting shortchanged, and it's a sh***y thing to have to deal with.

But you have got to talk to someone impartial. Friends are wonderful to have, but this is one of those things that friends, no matter how well-meaning, just cannot help you with effectively. Still in school. Go directly to your guidance counsellor's office Monday morning. Tell him or her that you want to set up some kind of therapy, just for yourself, because you are having serious problems and really really need to talk to someone about them.

If they want to call your parents, calmly explain that your parents are part of the problem, and that they would not support you in this right now. If for some reason your counsellor is an incompetent fool, instead go find the Yellow Pages and call a Teen Crisis Hotline, suicide hotline, anything that will get you in touch with a professional who can help you learn healthy and effective ways to deal with your issues.

I can't stress this enough.

My own depression, which was partly physiological and partly due to a very unhealthy relationship with my own mother and her husband, went untreated for years. Long, dark, miserable years that seemed to go on endlessly with no hope or relief in sight. It was not until I had a genuine psychotic episode -- which is not as cool as it might sound to those of who who've never experienced one -- that I finally got help.

I hate to sound dramatic, but in all seriousness, it's lucky that I'm alive now. Those years are gone ,but I still have now and I still have the years to come. Don't let depression rob you of your life and your sense of self. Get help, and get it now.
 
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