Myth #4.
Matt Hates Dwarves and is Keeping Them Down
Doubly untrue! While I did spit some acid at the little buggers in “Metadwarfosis,†it was really just to sell the gag. Dwarves are tough, so I knew they could take a little ribbing and still stand…er, tall. I thought it would be an interesting and thought-provoking exercise to try and use color pie philosophizing to work a Brundle-esque transformation on dwarves. I think my loaded Inbox proves that “Metadwarfosis†was rousingly thought-provoking. Also, you greatly overestimate my power to keep dwarves off the cardboard. My job is not to decide if they see print, it is to give them names and flavor and, in some cases, a face (see Bash to Bits illustration above.)
Sure, there are some things about the dwarf mythology that I don't like, but it does not make me want to pitch dwarves to the trash-pile. It just makes me want to shift the focus. It is my opinion that many fantasy fans seem to focus on the aspects of dwarfdom that I find least interesting. Take beards for example; beards can be cool if dealt with as a characteristic of dwarven culture; length denotes rank, painted or dyed during wartime, braided or dreadlocked to denote tribal membership. This is all cool stuff. What really stinks up the place is when the dwarf goes all Fonzie about his beard, coddling it and demanding that nobody messes with it. That is comic relief cornball stuff and we get enough of that with the goblins. Then there's the drunken tavern dwarf. This is one of those things that, in specific cases, could be seen as an interesting characteristic. But, spread across an entire race it seems to me a heavy-handed stretch. Binging and feasting after a victorious battle is cool. Waddling around drunk all the time seems more like a recipe for extinction.
Me, hate the dwarves? For goodness sake I built them a Shrine!
My seemingly biased take on the dwarves was just to sell the metamorphosis. Look at those dorky drawings- not exactly the most serious play for widespread buy-in. As I scribbled them out, I could not keep from thinking they looked like Frankenstein's monster.
The inactive radio buttons were an editorial oversight, not a sneaky way to avoid hearing how you feel about the absence of dwarves. (Our apologies. The buttons have been active since last Thursday.) This whole gag was made to stir the pot SO I could hear how you feel.
In the name of all that is short and husky, I encourage you all to take a second look at Metadwarfosis and submit your opinions. While I do not have the power to bring back dwarves on my own, significant consensus from the fan base can go a long way in kindling conversation within the Creative Team.
