Z
Zigathon
Guest
Hello again friends, foes, and media moguls.
I promised nearly half a year ago my next actual piece would be about my feelings concerning Scientology. This is not about that. Sorry, I feel whimsical. Therefore, you get something else instead. Yes this means, I'm not going to rant about morals either.
I wish I was famous. More links are clicked if you are. Although, I'm sure all three of you reading this are only doing so for the product placements.
Got a little Captain in you?
I must say one thing about Scientology though. No, really. I was in Wal-Mart about a month ago and saw one of those tabloids proclaiming "Tom Cruise's Baby Is Deformed!" I mentioned to my roommate, "Yeah, it has cloven hooves and horns."
Drink Pepsi!
As I was saying, if one talks taboo, they are lauded as criminals. There are many people guilty of selling the Truth. Truth is subjective. In a day and age when all things that can be considered False are also subjective, what is anything at all?
I'm lovin' it.
Let's talk about the Necronomicon, shall we? It doesn't exist. H.P. Lovecraft made it up. Does that stop Amazon.com from selling it for $19.95? Of course not! Even if it was a real book, do we really want sheeple to wield that kind of power? Its bad enough they run what we watch on the damn brainwash box... Larry the Cable Guy, anyone?
Smart. Very smart.
How about fast food? I'm just waiting for the day they institute the "Dollar Trough." You know, just get all the stupid monkeys called humans to gather round with a dollar and scarf down other sheeple's leftovers. I don't know or care what you think, but I believe that would end hunger around the planet.
Terror Alert: Blaze orange!
You know, I've really had it with people that think they're always right. C'mon! Don't argue with me, I'm always left... Seriously though, let's cut to the chase. You're wrong! Always.
Can you hear me now?
I work at a twenty-four hour restaurant, mostly during bar shift. I think that if the damn drunks could store food and booze at their homes like I do, instead of ordering the same damn two items every night, my fellow coworkers amd I could slack off even more. Maybe they don't have homes. That's why we need a dollar trough. Our store stays "hip" and no one has to sell their soul for a tender melt.
Just do it.
Who thinks a tangent is a type of fruit? Go eat a math book. A tangent is an alien sent here from some unmentionable planet made of oranges. Trust me, I eat the bastards all the time. Don't even think about a parabola! Those are apples.
Is it in you?
Why doesn't Wal-Mart just get with the program and have apartments? You got everything you need right there. Also, you wouldn't have to eat from the dollar trough anymore... you're a pristine Wal-mart employee. You're not? Then how the hell do you keep up with reality television and Tom Cruise's thetan baby? Just who the hell are you anyway? Why are you reading this?
My point? I mean, I must have one, right? "Never believe what you see, hear, or read. Its a merry-go-round of lies."
Until next time...
The King of Nerds,
Zigathon Vouraun
I promised nearly half a year ago my next actual piece would be about my feelings concerning Scientology. This is not about that. Sorry, I feel whimsical. Therefore, you get something else instead. Yes this means, I'm not going to rant about morals either.
I wish I was famous. More links are clicked if you are. Although, I'm sure all three of you reading this are only doing so for the product placements.
Got a little Captain in you?
I must say one thing about Scientology though. No, really. I was in Wal-Mart about a month ago and saw one of those tabloids proclaiming "Tom Cruise's Baby Is Deformed!" I mentioned to my roommate, "Yeah, it has cloven hooves and horns."
Drink Pepsi!
As I was saying, if one talks taboo, they are lauded as criminals. There are many people guilty of selling the Truth. Truth is subjective. In a day and age when all things that can be considered False are also subjective, what is anything at all?
I'm lovin' it.
Let's talk about the Necronomicon, shall we? It doesn't exist. H.P. Lovecraft made it up. Does that stop Amazon.com from selling it for $19.95? Of course not! Even if it was a real book, do we really want sheeple to wield that kind of power? Its bad enough they run what we watch on the damn brainwash box... Larry the Cable Guy, anyone?
Smart. Very smart.
How about fast food? I'm just waiting for the day they institute the "Dollar Trough." You know, just get all the stupid monkeys called humans to gather round with a dollar and scarf down other sheeple's leftovers. I don't know or care what you think, but I believe that would end hunger around the planet.
Terror Alert: Blaze orange!
You know, I've really had it with people that think they're always right. C'mon! Don't argue with me, I'm always left... Seriously though, let's cut to the chase. You're wrong! Always.
Can you hear me now?
I work at a twenty-four hour restaurant, mostly during bar shift. I think that if the damn drunks could store food and booze at their homes like I do, instead of ordering the same damn two items every night, my fellow coworkers amd I could slack off even more. Maybe they don't have homes. That's why we need a dollar trough. Our store stays "hip" and no one has to sell their soul for a tender melt.
Just do it.
Who thinks a tangent is a type of fruit? Go eat a math book. A tangent is an alien sent here from some unmentionable planet made of oranges. Trust me, I eat the bastards all the time. Don't even think about a parabola! Those are apples.
Is it in you?
Why doesn't Wal-Mart just get with the program and have apartments? You got everything you need right there. Also, you wouldn't have to eat from the dollar trough anymore... you're a pristine Wal-mart employee. You're not? Then how the hell do you keep up with reality television and Tom Cruise's thetan baby? Just who the hell are you anyway? Why are you reading this?
My point? I mean, I must have one, right? "Never believe what you see, hear, or read. Its a merry-go-round of lies."
Until next time...
The King of Nerds,
Zigathon Vouraun
