The lights go out and the dwarves begin to chant.
"Oo la oo la oo la, la la la la..."
The goats join in, tapping thier hooves in time to the kazoos and banjos that have joined in...
"Oo la oo la oo la, la la la la..."
Next come the circus fat ladys and thier thin-men cohorts. They're dressed in plastic tuxedos that end at the waste and start and the knee. They do back flips over the goats and play catch with the dwarves, all of which never skip a beat while they chant...
"Oo la oo la oo la, la la la la..."
And then, suspended from the cieling on puppet strings comes me, wrapped in cellophane and topped with a pimp's purple and gold hat and my feet clad in wing tipped shoes...and I sing...sing...SING!
"When...I...walk down the street, all the people that I meet are either fat or ugly, lazy, daft or fools.
They don't seem to understand that I'm the lordy of this land and there fore that I make up every rule...
If I so do declare that all the fishes will have hair, then hairy fish will be upon your plate.
I'll use my mystic clout to produce some furry trout, and your appetite they are sure to sate.
If I should decide that all snakes need a ride, then I will create a special law
That all my subjects will provide with a smile big and wide a ride to every single snake that they saw.
And then one day I will decree that all of the pig swill in the kingdom shall all be gather up
To provide a special treat as a basting sauce for meat and all will drink it from my loving goat head cup.
So, if you think about it you are sure to go and shout it from all the curb-side garbage pick up sites.
That Evan_Mann is lord and you never shall be boared because here it's a party every single night!"
And then I dance...
Tip tap, tippity tap, tapity tipity tipity tapity tooooo...Tapity tapity tip, sweep flail kick, tapity tip top tap flop woooOOOOooo!
At this time all of the dwarves and riding the goats around and the Thin-Men are whipping the Circus Fat Ladys into a blood lusted frenzy. This is the finale!
We all line up in neat little rows acording to height and the dwarves convulse on the floor. This is where the fat ladys strip and act provocative and the Thin-Men act as if they don't care, but they do ya see, because they are the Fat Lady's dates and they don't take kindly to this, so all of them pull out harmonicas and play the blues...
All the while, I continue my cellophane tap routine and when done, the music recedes in tempo, the lights go down to a nice romantic mood level, and the stage clears. Off stage you can still here the dwarves chanting...
"Oo la oo la oo la, la la la la..."
And I sit alone, center stage, in my hat and wing tips and cellophane...a single tear forms in the corner of my right eye...right...on... cue...
"So...if...you...every wonder how that bra got on your favorite cow, or how Mr. Smith grew wings and flew to town
Then just all you guys recall how Evan through this ball just for you...so never...ever...where...a...frown!
Never a froooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwn!"
fade to grey...
