Cards that you love to cringe at

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Being a new nember, I thought I would give you guys more of an insight at my personality. These cards reflect it.

Blast-o-Cheerios
2GU
Creature-Breakfast Beast
fading 9,954,544
In Blast-o-Cheerios is the target of a spell or ability, take that spell or ability's controller's deck and dunk it in milk

5/5


Butt Gnomes
5
Creature-Gnomes
T: Moon target player
1: untap Butt Gnomes

3/3


Unmental Magic
3UU
Enchantment
Each player must play with their eyes closed(won't this be fun)


Bing-Bang Walter, former AErathi soldier, presently a hippie
3WUR
Creature-Mixed-up Soldier Legend
T: Prevent the next 4 damage dealt to target creature or player.
T: AErathi Hippie deals 4 damage to target creature or player.
T: Roll up target card and smoke it.
8/3


That's all for now.

Ransac, he who dropped himself on the head as a baby
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
I just got hit in the head and had some inspirations.

Brownish-Green Lotus
0
Artifact
If you can make target player puke, sacrifice Brownish-Green Lotus and add 5 mana of any combination of colors in your mana pool.


Giant Flying Midget
2RRR
Creature-Giant Flying Midget
Flying
Haste
R: +1/+1 until end of turn
At the end of your turn, Sacrifce Giant Flying Midget and throw him at target opponent's lands. Destroy all lands that he touches.

3/3


Monkey Sperm
WWWG
Creature-Icky Goo
When Monkey Sperm (giggle) comes into play, gain control of target monkey. That monkey must then bathe until the Monkey sper leaves play

4/4


Tommy, Power Player
2GG

Creature-Legend Gamer
4: Draw 5 cards and fart on your opponent's deck and on any copies of Timmy, Power Gamer that that opponent owns

1/1

Wake of Morning
WB
Sorcery
Target play must yawn, scratch his behind, act like he is drunk, and accidently step on target cat's tail. If he doesn't, you gain 255 life.



That's all again

Ransac, that guy who said things about himself
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
MORE CARDS!!!!!

Instant Oatmeal
2RR
Instant
Take target card and grind it into dust. That's card's controller must pour milk on it and eat it. If he makes a bad face, destroy all lands that player controls.


Bad Breath
2GB
Instant
Eat anchovies, garlic, poody-crud, and other bad tasting foods. Breathe in target player's face. That player must breathe in the toxic fumes. If he says anything except "Hi-ho, hiddly-moe, we're off to smoke at grandma's", that player loses the game. He cannot gag or cough anytime during this process.
This card cannot be countered or targeted by any spell or ability.



That's all for now.

Ransac, the one with one butt cheek, and another one
 
K

K9Archmage

Guest
Ransac's Brain
4
instant

all players must twist all cards in play then eat them as if they were twizzlers. then all players must take their creatures and pretend that they are evil smiling sheep.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Poo-Gas
GB
Instant
Target creature dies. No, it isn't destroyed, it isn't buried, and it isn't removed from the game, it dies. You can't use that card ever again, you might as well rip it up. Okay, then, fine, clarification text.

Rip up target card and place it in opponent's Yoo-hoo.




Ransac, heh-heh-heh
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
NEW CARD! NEW CARD!!!!


Who wants to pretend to be a millionaire
BBB
Enchantment
When this card enters play, target a player. For the remainder of the game, even if this enchantment is destroyed, that player must respond to every statement, even those not directed towards him/her, with "Is that you final answer?". If he/she does not, that player sacrifices all permenents that he/she controls.


Ransac, heh-heh-heh
 
F

fuzzy510

Guest
fuzzy510, Guy that Takes Over Threads 2BBBB
Creature-Legendary Thief

First Strike, trample, protection from CPA
members who start threads.

1: fuzzy510 makes an irrelevent post that has
nothing to do with the topic in target player's
thread. Zadok001 then closes that thread.

"FWAHAHAHAHA!"

9/7
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Thread closer? That's bad. But, here's a counter to that.


Open Thread
UUU
Instant
Open target closed thread that was closed via a stupid comment. Remove that comment from the game.


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
New Card! New Card!

Look Mom! No Hands!!!
Enchantment
BBBUUU
All players discard their hands. Whenever a player would draw a card, they take the top card of their library and put it in their graveyard.
Look Mom! No Hands! cannot be countered or targeted by any spell or abilities.


Ransac, thinks this card would rule in Recurring Nightmare/Survival of the Fittest decks
 
H

Hawaiian mage

Guest
Real Hand to Hand
RU
Leave the current game in progress and kick target players ass. If you succede, take his deck and run for the nearest bus station. If you fail, your opponent takes your deck and runs to the nearest us station.
Oh no, not you again!
-Jaya Ballard, Task mage
 
K

K9Archmage

Guest
chips ahoy! 2bb
summon cookies

fading 1,000
if there are now fade counters on chips ahoy! then you may take 1,000 turns after this one.
cannot be the target of spells, abilities, and sad crying cows.
last strike(if blocks or is blocked, other creature gains first strike until end of turn)
crying(this creature can only block creatures with crying)
protection from smilies,spoons, and milk
3/3
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
What potential K9Archmage has. My GOD!!!!! He should be my apprentice or something. There's just one thing he must learn.


*Ransac snaps his fingers and K9Archamge is wearing black clothes*

I love doing that.

Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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