Ask Suza

[Suza, Grand Davina]

Greetings.

This is a forum in which you can inquire on anything your heart desires to the Siren herself. Free yourself from the burdens of ridicule or question of sanity. As it has done for me, it shall do for you. Ask anything you want. Even if it's about (hissss) the restoration of Red in Onslaught and (wailing sigh) the slight weakening of Blue therein. What an insult to such a color of pure skill and talent. Alas, I digress. Watch how the Watcher responds.

 

[Svenmonkey]

Who are you and what do you want?!

 

[Mazzak]

Exactly which is what and why are who doing what when? And how, pray tell, shall who go about doing what when where is the true answer to the question?

 

[Ransac]

I have a few questions.

If a chicken(not a rooster, mind you) lays an egg on the tip of an A-Shaped roof, will it, without a doubt, always roll down the side that I am trying to sleep under?


How many lashings does one recieve for trading away their Power Nine collection for a complete set of Spellfire?


Why do people always scream when I yell "I'VE GOT A STICK OF TNT(my new favorite gum) IN MY HAND!!!!!!"?


If I burn the weasels, will the voices leave me alone?


I'll have more later.



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[FoundationOfRancor]

Dear Suza,
I am having problems with my girlfriend. She seems to think blue is a fun, cool color. She's dead wrong, and I hit her a couple times to prove it. But then she didnt like that either! So I tried putting arsenic in her soda. She got mad again, but did admit slivers are cool. However, no matter how many times I cheat on her, or put snow in her locker, she will just not admit that blue is uncool. What should I do?
Sincerly,
Confused In Michigan

 

[Apollo]

Dear Suza: is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!

 

[Bob]

this reminds me of Evil Princess Sara. Suza's nicer though.

 

[train]

Dear Suza...

Do you ever get tired of people asking you questions that you really don't feel like answering... Don't worry I'll help you out...Dear Suza: is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants!

I am having problems with my girlfriend. She seems to think blue is a fun, cool color. She's dead wrong, and I hit her a couple times to prove it. But then she didnt like that either! So I tried putting arsenic in her soda. She got mad again, but did admit slivers are cool. However, no matter how many times I cheat on her, or put snow in her locker, she will just not admit that blue is uncool. What should I do?
Sincerly,
Confused In Michigan

Beat her with stick until she's black and blue and make her realize that blue is not a cool color... If you can't achieve this you will be hunted down by squirrels...

If a chicken(not a rooster, mind you) lays an egg on the tip of an A-Shaped roof, will it, without a doubt, always roll down the side that I am trying to sleep under?

Yes... eggs are attracted to snoring...

How many lashings does one recieve for trading away their Power Nine collection for a complete set of Spellfire?

1 google's worth!!!... and a spanking...

Why do people always scream when I yell "I'VE GOT A STICK OF TNT(my new favorite gum) IN MY HAND!!!!!!"?

They think it should remain in your pants behind your zipper...

If I burn the weasels, will the voices leave me alone?

No, you'll then be haunted by voices and screams of burned weasels...

Exactly which is what and why are who doing what when? And how, pray tell, shall who go about doing what when where is the true answer to the question?

Which is actually where, who is doing where at 3:00, because they want to...
And who can go about doing where, not what, because where is the true answer to the what question!...

Who are you and what do you want?!

I am a former Coat addict and now the supreme fizzler... bow before me!!!...

 

[Suza, Grand Davina]

Confused: Aye! You're almost as bad as that caffeine-blooded witch Miranda Cadiz. Blue is the color of cool, and of water, and of the blue summer sky. And you must be a Doramite for sure. If not in location, then definitely in spirit. To suffer for the truth is not a shameful thing.

Ransac: Anyone who squanders such valuable cards on such waste is punishing himself, even though he has committed no moral wrong. In addition, many people think that TnT is explosive, much like the planes that crashed down in one of your world's biggest landmarks. Their suicide bombing techniques remind me of those damnable Starlets. Why I dealt with such an abomination last night, during a raid on my sanctuary.

As for weasels, their screams will be much worse before they finally stop. A chicken eg will go wherever there is the slightest lean...

Apollo: Sebastian en-Kreuz has already chosen me, and he bears little good for such challenge from a firebird.

Train: As for you, to beat one with a stick over such a thing makes me want to sing, to honor such bold proclamations on the girl's part...

I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again. On my own, and i know that i'm strong enough to mend...

 

[train]

Thanks for the singing...

Now run... fast... for the squirrels are hunting you!!!...

 

[Ransac]

Next set of questions:

I have a bumblebee in my hand. It wants the milk that I'm drinking and is threatening to eat my cookies should I not share with him. I don't want to share. How do I say, in beesese, that if it eats my cookies I will take it's hairbrush?

At the last presidential election, I ran a campaign with a 3-foot tall monkey as a running mate(people love monkies!). But, alas, I didn't even get as many votes as Ralph Nader did. What can I do better at this next election?

Boxers, briefs, or lederhosen?



Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[train]

I have a bumblebee in my hand. It wants the milk that I'm drinking and is threatening to eat my cookies should I not share with him. I don't want to share. How do I say, in beesese, that if it eats my cookies I will take it's hairbrush?

Touchzzzzzz Myzzzz Cookieszzzzzz andzz you'llzzzz meetzzz thezzz Widowmaker2000(TM)zzz!!!

At the last presidential election, I ran a campaign with a 3-foot tall monkey as a running mate(people love monkies!). But, alas, I didn't even get as many votes as Ralph Nader did. What can I do better at this next election?

Spank the monkey as a publicity stunt...

Boxers, briefs, or lederhosen?

Leather straps... 1 cm. wide...

 

[Shiro, Time Devourer]

This'll be interesting.

 

[Suza, Grand Davina]

All you have to do is sing a lullaby to the bee. If you do it right, it will be so carried off into dreamland that the cookies will be an afterthought. For underwear, briefs are best. As for your politics question, perhaps you should use a more beautiful pet, like a bird. Birds are pretty. Pretty birds.

 

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

Suza:

Are you also Shiro?
Are you Shiro's girlfriend posting with the name of one of his characters from Upheaval?
Are you actually one of the characters from Upheaval who became sentient somehow and able to post here? not too likely

Thanks

 

[train]

ahem...

"Get 'er Ice Cream Man!!!..."

 

[Suza, Grand Davina]

What a nice day outside. I think I'll jump out the window.

*bounce**bounce**CRASH!*

 

[Shiro, Time Devourer]

This is one of the joke things I hope to get started on a weekly basis, kind of like Jeff K www.somethingawful.com, only less stupid. Though, if I actually *did* pull an Ixidor and brought her out into the real, wouldn't *that* be something. Something I'd never do.

 

[train]

Kind of like ketchup packets under the toilet seat?... that kind of joke?...

 

[Bob]

Originally posted by Shiro, Time Devourer
This is one of the joke things I hope to get started on a weekly basis, kind of like Jeff K www.somethingawful.com, only less stupid. Though, if I actually *did* pull an Ixidor and brought her out into the real, wouldn't *that* be something. Something I'd never do.

or like Ask Evil princess Sara or Twinkin' out with Red Mage. (www.nuklearpower.com)