Angry Letters to People Who'll Never Read Them

T

train

Guest
(Coming from the CS industry - this is all mine buddy...)

Dear Convenience Store Associate,

I understand that your in the convenience store business and a fair price must be paid for this convenience, however, I do not think i should pay to have a nice, fresh-cooked hamburger made by someone who constantly touches their hair, and doesn't use food service prep gloves when preparing the food...

I also do not wish to have a view of the bear-skin on your chest when standing at the register, paying for gas that it took you 27 minutes to approve because you couldn't see my license plate with someone else's RV in the way...

I also wish to extend my dislikes on the constantly empty glass-cleaner-less windshield cleaning containers that now have various varmints living in the, using what would be glass-friendly paper towels as their nexting material...

It is my understanding that certain things are rude ein life, such as blowing cigarette or cigar smoke into the customer's face, throwing the customer's change on the counter, and not counting back if handing it to them, adjusting yourself while ringing up my grocery products, reporting me to local authorities for driving off with gas, causing me to be pulled over, when I have the smudged receipt your filthy hands handed me, and over-charging me for a candy bar, that you open in front of me to see what it looks like...

I do wish that the next time I'm in the store with my family, that you do not focus your eyes on my wife's or daughter's backside, or chest, when they walk through the store...

I'd also like to extend a thank you for never being polite, using personal hygiene products, and leaving grease and oil all over the parking lot, so I can slip when stepping on the spilled drink, never-mopped wet floor you fail to clean as part of your job duty...

sincerely...

train.
 
M

mythosx

Guest
What are they down there in texas? This guy sounds like a freak!
 
N

Notepad

Guest
Dear retarded customers,

When asked, "Would you like to hear about our specials" just say "No" if you already know what you want. This especially includes if you're calling up to ask for the $6.99 carry-out special, or are using a coupon. Trust me, the specials we read off to you on the phone are not the coupon or the 6.99 special. We assume you already know about those and thus do not notify over the phone that they exist. And no, there is no secret special where you can get five sodas and nine pizzas for $6.99 so I suggest you just go with getting one for $6.99.

Additionally, though I aspire to one day be an English teacher, I have no desire to help you fools with your language lessons. "Carry-out" does not mean "Delivery." When I ask you, "Will that be carry-our or delivery?" I am in no way being redundant. Go buy a ****ing grammar school text book and learn what words mean.

When I call you up an hour after you order and ask if you're ever gonna come in and pick up your pizza, do not scream at me like you're offended, as if I took your order speaking some alien language just to confuse you. And when I say "delivery is free" that means just that. Don't go screaming at me saying I told you earlier that there was a delivery charge.

You could try taking some language lessons from the signs posted all over about the store. If you did this, you would notice the ones that say "Drivers leave the store with less than $20" and "Less than $75 in register." Sorta makes you look like an idiot when you try paying for a $7.50 order with a $100 bill. You aren't cool just because you carry big bills in your wallet. And when I ask for a smaller bill, that means the billions of twenties and fives I see fattening up your wallet. Once the number on a bill is less than 100, you are still able to use it as currency. Those are not merely green receipts. PAY FOR THINGS WITH THEM!

Your loving minion,
-Sefro
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
There's no secret special? :(

And why would someone complain about NOT having a delivery charge? They're saving money! :eek:
 
N

Notepad

Guest
We will gladly send a pizza over atop an ICBM pronto. That will be $7.50, please.
 
M

mythosx

Guest
Originally posted by SeFRo
We will gladly send a pizza over atop an ICBM pronto. That will be $7.50, please.
So your saying it will still be hot when it gets here? Sweet 30 min or less?
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
Considering that it will be attached to an ICBM, it will be very, VERY hot when it arrives. Vaporized, even.
 
N

Notepad

Guest
It will be crispy hot for a flash split of a second, then totally gone. Make sure to get it while it lasts! ;)
 
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