Am i the only one.......

Discussion in 'General CPA Stuff' started by smurfturd, Aug 26, 2000.

  1. smurfturd New Member

    Am i the only one who dosent give a smurf turd about the storyline in Magic.
    I say just print the cards, come on,magic didnt need a story for Arabian, Legends was just fine.
    Im sick of gerred or what ever his name is, kill them all off. Hell make cards from Arena, or the other older books, like Garth one-eye, Gull & Green sleves.
  2. Almindhra Magic's Bitch

    I don't read the books...I don't really read the quotes...And all I know is is that Gerard, uh, went on a ship, to some island, and they bargain a lot there...And I bet thats the whole storyline too!...Sad, isn't it?
  3. Duel Has Less Posts Than Spiderman

    I don't remember there BEING a storyline until after 6th. And even then, I don't care about it, except in the cards it gives us. The cards are what matters.
  4. DÛke Memento Mori

    ...don't usually read books. I don't like reading, but, when the back cover of the book as someone as hot as Belbe in the back, I'll have to buy the book to atleast what's up with her. I bought the Nemesis novel (because of the back cover), and surprsingly, I've read the whole thing! Unbelievable. It was really cool, unlike some other books I've tried reading (American History/Biology).

    The Nemesis novel really was fun and interesting.
    Belbe was fine in that story too, too fine, if I have to exaggerate.
    This was probably my first book that I CHOOSE to read, and actually LIKE.

    I don't know about the other Magic Novels, but I bought the Prophecy novel, just to see if it was as good as Nemesis', and it sucked. It's just boring. Just lame and boring. I rather watch The Matrix one more time instead (this would be weird because I've watched The Matrix 23 times:)).
  5. Duel Has Less Posts Than Spiderman

    Hey duke, You can watch it another 23. Trust me. I know.
  6. Thrash Golem New Member

    i remember the weatherlight kept getting caught in storms and squee's been around for like 200 years or something. my favorite flavor text is that of null rod and yavimaya wurm and of course, last ditch effort

    Null Rod:
    Gerrard: "But it doesn't do anything!"
    Hanna: "No, it does nothing!"

    Yavimaya Wurm:
    i forget what it is exactly but the monkey's head gets eaten by the wurm

    Last-Ditch effort:
    If you're going to lose, at least make sure they don't win as much (note: i have 36 last-ditch efforts)

    Goblin Offensive:
    they certainly are

    Ach, hans, run! It's the lhurgoyf!

    i know a bunch more in the morning but not now cuz im not wake
  7. M-phoenix New CPA Member

    The book I read was pretty cool, it told all about how Yawgmoth became ruler of Phyrexia.

    Here's my favorite flavor text

    Fodder Cannon

    Step 1: Find your cousin
    Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon
    Step 3: Find another cousin

    Coat of Arms
    see below
  8. Dark Horse New Member

    Your'e all in luck. My friends are somewhat obsessive with the story. Heres the parts I know.

    It all started when Urza defeated Mishra in a hugeass war. Then, he worked at the academy,until it got destroyed. Then some stuff happened when I think Phyrexia invaded Serra's Realm, and Radiant was botching up everything. Then Urza went to Shiv and activated the mana rig. It stopped the phyrexian Invasion. In legacy he created the Artifacts that were his legacy, and in Destiny he saved Argoth and Yavimaye from phyrexian Invasion. Then the ice age hit. Afterwards, in Mirage Tefiri, an archmage at that point did some experiments and Jamura was under the ravages of the phasing stuff, to savethe continent, tefiri's isle phased out. 200 years later the isle phased back in. A few archmages Kaervak, Jolrael, and Mangara in particular went to counsel on the going ons. Then Kaervak convinced Jolrael to turn against Mangara, and then Kaervak ruled the continent. When Tefiri told Jolrael she had been had, she set up a last ditch plan to save the continent from destruction. She freed Mangara from her prison and killed Purraj of Urborg. Afterwards, with sacrifices from many familiar faces, particularly Asmira, the prophet, they barely are able to defend the continent from Kaervak. In Tempest, the crew of the Weatherlight, war heroes at that time go to Rath to save Sisay from Volrath. They fight a lot with greven aboard the Predator, and then reach the stronghold. There is a lot of fighting, and afterwards Gerrard realizes that Volrath is really his lost brother Vuel, the other heir to the Legacy of Urza. In a daring escape, they rescue Sisay, but Mirri the Cat Warrior dies helping the crew escape. Other helpers in the escape were the Soltari, Thalakos and Dauthi, who were in a huge war. In the end, Lyna, a soltari, and Urza close up the gate that lets the crew leave Rath. In masques, they get into a huge struggle between the Mercadians and the Cho-Arrim. To repair the damaged Weatherlight, they have to go to Sapprazzo and Rishada, two rival trade centers. In the end, they find a secret subterrainen hangar, where the Weatherlight and a lot of goblin warships are stored. These warships are a base the Phyrexians are using in an invasion of Dominaria In the end, the Cho-Arim rebel against the Mercadians, and the Weatherlight destroys the Mercadian Navy. However, in the proccess Takara reveals herself as Volrath, and tries to hijack the Weatherlight. Then the crew somehow gets back to Rath, where the Phyrexians elect Crovax as the new Evincar, and kill Volrath. The plane of Rath is trying to connect to Dominaria, and the crew has to escape to Jamuura before the world is conquered by Phyrexia. They get back, but the Kipamu are at war with the forces of Keld. Afterwards, comes Invasion and whatever it brings to the table.
  9. Apollo Bird Boy

    I agree with you, Turd Boy.

    You know what's funny, this is possibly the only time I could ever call someone Turd Boy and not mean it as an insult. Hm.

    And Dark Horse, reading the story like that I just laughed and laughed and laughed. I don't know if you meant it humorously, but it's hilarious.
  10. nanokill Veteran CPA Member<BR><FONT co

    I have never read the books but i have read the commics:D
  11. arhar Member

    Personally I love the storyline, but only the part of the storyline that deals with Urza and his madness. I totally hate Gerrard, Hanna and all those sissies. The only cool character out of the whole Weatherlight crue, imho, is Tahngarth, and that's only because he's a minotaur. The character I hate the most is Ertai. Die, Ertai, you little phyrexian b[bleep]h!!!!! Anyway, I read only one book - Planeswalker, and it's awesome. Gonna read more :)
  12. Duel Has Less Posts Than Spiderman

    What are you saying? Ertai is like the only redeeming value of the storyline!
  13. mogg bomber Veteran CPA Lurker

    I like the storyline, but it's been going on for too long now. I liked how before the storyline you never knew what to expect in a new expansion. Now, although some things are new, you always see at least one or two familiar characters on the cards. As for Dark Horse's brief:rolleyes: story synopsis, well it's mostly correct but there are some huge problems in there(for example, if Ice Age had happened after Destiny, Gerrard would be thousands of years old. Ice Age actually happened at about the same time as Saga). And how could anyone find Ertai annoying? He is one of the funniest and most interesting characters in the storyline!

    And arhar, if the only book you've read is Planeswalker, then you should definately read some of the other books. Duke mentioned how Prophecy was boring, and he's right, but Planeswalker is just as bad if not worse. The best book so far is The Brother's War, and I doubt any of the future magic novels will ever even get close to being as good as it.
  14. Duel Has Less Posts Than Spiderman

    The brothers' war did have the best storyline.

    With the crew of the weatherlight, I feel like I'm watching a sword & sorcery rendition of "the land before time"
  15. Cateran Emperor Passed On

    Everyone has to read the first chapter of Invasion (it's in the back of the Myths of Magic). It is the most insanely awesome chapter of Magic I've ever read.

    They actually make the Weatherlight's crew interesting there!!!!

    Best Character in the storyline so far: Squee and Tahngarth are both hilarious whenevver they do anything, and Karn is actually unintentionally funny.

    If anyone cares, this is the actual storyline in a brief form (you were off a bit Dark Horse):

    1. Yawgmoth(a doctor, I kid you not) takes over the capital of the Thran Empire and a mysterious disease is ruining the city called phtisis, or degerneration. Yawgmoth meets the Planeswalker Dyfed and is taken to an artificial plane she agrees to let him have as it's old owner is dead. Rest of Thran Empire hates Yawgmoth and they declare war on the capital which is now in his thrall. Yawgmoth brings people to his plane and cures them of phtisis using progressive healing or "phyresis" (yes, that's why Phyrexia is named that, it means "Plane of Progressive Healing"). Man who was supposed to be a planeswalker but didn't quite make it yet was infected by Yawgmoth with the disease and was trapped inside a powerstone. Yawgmoth makes hugeass weapons called powerstone chargers that suck matter in when they hit and get dropped by his airships on several cities (think Hiroshima). Powerstone got placed on a pedestal in the caves under the city and sealed Yawgmoth in, last stone charger detonates on city above, turns whole place into a barren canyon later named Koilos.

    2. Urza and Mishra run into Koilos on an archaeological dig, find the powerstone which locks Yawgmoth away. Stone is split in two, Mightstone and Weakstone, each bro gets one. Accidentally kill their teacher (oops). Both are exiled. They each inherit the thrones of powerful nations. They fight, and fight, and fight, and fight some more. They strip the land of near everything to make more war machines. Urza discovers Argoth, and the two bros fight there now. Gix enters somewhere around here, and the Brotherhood of Gix makes Mishra a Phyrexian. Ashnod finds the Sylex, and brings it to Urza in the hopes of ending the war. Urza gets Mishras stone and the stones fuse, Urza becomes a planeswalker. Urza uses sylex to stop gix, and BOOM. Basically nukes Argoth, and destroys cities thousands of miles away. Urza vanishes.

    3. Everyone's pissed at Urza, and legends say that he and Mish were wizards instead of Artificers. Wizards get hunted by the Priests of the Roder of Tal (Northern & Southern Paladins) Nothing much happens here, but some guy tries to make a gate to Phyrexia (he fails by the way)

    4. Ice Age. Lim-Dul tries to reopen the way to Phyrexia (why does everyone keep trying to do this???) Fails, gets his ass whupped by some other planeswalkers. Nothing else really happens here.

    5. Urza comes back, and now builds the Academy after having to banish Gix again. Phyrexians invade the first Academy, and Urza tries to send Karn back to fix things. Resulting temporal messing stuff makes another BOOM. Urza saves Barrin and several others from being blown up. Temporal distortions are everywhere, with fast and slow time. Phyrexians got tossed into a fast time pit, but can't get out (if you try to pass barriers between time streams, you get ripped apart) Urza kills the Phyrexians with help from Multani and the Viashino, who he brings in since they're working on the Legacy. Phyrexians get beat up again, never return to Tolaria.

    6. Urza starts Bloodlines project, Phyrexians start Rath project, Negators are constantly hunting Urza, who stays away from the Academy alot to check on his bloodlines. He loses the Femeref bloodline to unknown causes (not Phyrexians amazingly) and almost loses the Capashen bloodlines to Phyrexians but for one (yep, it's Gerrard). In the meantime, Phyrexians invade Keld and get a severe Keldon ass whupping from the witch-king Krieg (KELD!!!!!!) keldons beat the crap out of Phyrexians for the most part (funny sight to imagine: Keldon warriors dismantling dragon engines, it happens), but Phyrexians just give up and leave Keld shattered for a century or so.

    7. Mirage block stuff, don't really need to explain except that Weatherlight is the set where Gerrard joins the crew of what was to be his ship.

    8. Rath cycle, Gerrard and buds go and save Sisay from Volrath (and get attacked by moggs, slivers, and of course Greven)

    9. Mercadian cycle, WL enters Mercadia from portal, and a LOT of stuff happens (good book though). Then we switch to Rath for Nemesis, and see Crovax take the throne and Rath start to fade in. Finally, we flash back to Jamuraa to see the once again POed Keldons take on the Jamuraans for some reason (didn't make much sense, overall least exciting and most nonsensical of the books)

    10. Invasion cycle, and all the madness thereof.


    [CE falls over from lack of air)
  16. Neo_Keo -=[I]=- []2ice |Voodles

    I personaly like the Ice Age cycle books. Realy good. Jodah is a mage that can take on any mage.
  17. Sleepy Narcoleptic CPA Member

    i don't really care about the storylime. i just care about the cards.
  18. Spiderman CPA Man in Tights, Dopey Administrative Assistant

    I don't care too much for the storyline either; it was enough for me to know that "Ice Age was the result of the Brother's War in Antiquities".
  19. Django New Member

    Storyline? Didn't even know there was one..

    Ok, stop slapping me, it hurts. :) I admit i know about the storyline. But I have no idea what the story is. The only references I have is the flavor texts on the cards, and that's enough for me.
    I have to say that I don't really like the MtG 'universe'.. too much technology and stuff for me. I like my fantasy to be more basic, like Tolkien's vision. I don't mind a few vikings here and there either. :D
  20. Duel Has Less Posts Than Spiderman

    I liked early magic.
    You had Urza.
    And Mishra
    And Death, doom, and a couple individual people, who (and here's the key thing) WERE NOT ALWAYS ON A SIDE!

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