1001 (or more) Reasons why Dwarven Pony is the Greatest Card in all Magic!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Ransac, Jul 18, 2006.

  1. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    1. It can single-handedly win you any game 20 turns after you've played it!

    2. It only costs R.

    3. It does your taxes.

    4. It keeps the terrorists at bay.

    someone else?

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  2. orgg Administrator

    5. It doesn't get Lightning Bolted. Usually.
  3. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    6. You can't Red Elemental Blast it.
    7. It can take out a Deadly Insect.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  4. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    8. Goblin farmers buy the turds at a highly inflated price
    9. Nobody suspect's the pony
  5. Mooseman Isengar Tussle

    10. Dwarves don't get lost in the pony's turds, (unlike a horse's)
    11. Dwarves don't ride ponys, thus why they call it Mountainwalk.
  6. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    12. With Relentless Assault, it can attack multiple times in one turn.
    13. One Dwarven Pony can take out BigBlue if you also have a Jitte.
    14. It can be used as bait for Apocalypse Chime while you hold the rest of your Homelands cards in your hand.
    15. You can Reckless Abandon it to kill the Morphling OR Masticore of a tapped out opponent.
    16. It is the only card in Magic that can count to six.
    17. It likes to eat meat.
  7. DarthFerret Evil Sith Weasel

    18. It almost never gets countered.
    19. It is GREAT at Parties.
    20. It is a very inexpensive card to purchase (uless buying from Ransac!)
  8. dwarven_anarchist New Member

    It's true. We just lead them along, through the mountains. They carry our belongings for us.

    21. Savage pony beatdown. Seriously. I saw this elf, and I was all 'Sic 'em boy!' and my pony tore him limb from limb!

    Nifty Ninja Style Edit: Waitaminute! Dwarves don't get lost in horse turds unless you give the horse Beef-a-Rino first!
  9. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    22. Dwarven Ponies don't beat up our mothers for their grocery money.
    23. They're better than Pocket Aces in Texas Hold-Em
    24. They can make dwarves unblockable (!?!??!?!??!!?!OMFG!!!?!?!???!!!)

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  10. Nightstalkers Creature — Nightstalker

    25. Everyone loves ponies
    26. No upkeep!
    27. Dwarves love pony rides
    28. Batteries not included
  11. Oversoul The Tentacled One

    29. It's the most powerful card with the creature type "pony."
    30. It is immune to Reprisal.
    31. Circle of Protection: Green cannot protect against it.
  12. Reverend Love New Member

    32. Far superior to the weak knee'd Elven Ponies.
    33. Dwarven Pony loves freedom
    34. Easily ridden by ethnic dwarves and human dwarves.
    35. Dwarven Pony doesn't grant moonwalk , so it's kid safe.
  13. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    36. Dwarven Ponies are red, the color of passion.
    37. Dwarven Ponies beat up the "My Little" Ponies and are allied with the Care Bears to kill the communist Smurfs.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  14. Ransac CPA Trash Man

  15. Mooseman Isengar Tussle

    39. It's a Homelands pony and not a Fallen Empires pony.
    40. It's not a 1/1, it's a 1/1 pony.
  16. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    41. You can use it to pick your teeth and not be worried about ruining the card!
    42. You don't have to clean up after it.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  17. dwarven_anarchist New Member

    43. It doesn't want this thread dead.
    44. It can be targeted with Giant Strength.
    45. It fits in Sligh's mana curve.
  18. Mooseman Isengar Tussle

    46. TOMMY JAMES AND THE SHONDELLS sang about it way before it was printed (Mony Mony).
  19. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    47. Your changelings are unblockable against decks with Mountains.
    48. It stays crunchy, even in milk!!!

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  20. train The Wildcard!!!...

    49 a dwarf can call it an old mare, and it won't get mad…
    50 it has flanks, that it doesn't use for flanking…
    51 humility doesn't reduce it's power and toughness
    52 it plays well with proclamation of rebirth
    53 it can eat more carrots than a jackalope herd…
    54 it's not the mythical version that's horny…
    55 you can stud it out for other ponies…
    56 it's taller than all of the critters that own it…
    57 it's the perfect appetizer for an orgg…
    58 Seabiscuit didn't even have mountainwalk…
    59 you could possibly have a million pony march…
    60 it plays well with coat…
    61 it has hooves of steel…
    62 and buns too!...
    63 it's "home, home on the range", really is on a range (of mountains)…
    64 it is already ADA accessible (All Dwarves Aboard)...
    65 It works for celeried wages…
    66 It can drink more than a dwarf…
    67 when it passes gas, the stink is nose level with a dwarf already...
    68 black beauty can ki$$ his dwarven oink!
    69 everyone gets a ride…
    70 the bridle and grooming are always together…
    71 it's power and toughness add up to two…
    72 it's not blue…
    73 "oh how the mighty have ridden.."
    74 it's gas is free to all…
    75 you can feed it saprolings…
    76 the joke " a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says 'why the long face'" is finalized with a hoof to the dwarf's head…
    77 it can make Mr. Ed smile with something other than a carrot…
    78 it is white, not red…
    79 mile after mile, it maintains it's horsepower…
    80 it's homelands…
    81 miracles happen, but usually when pony is not around…
    82 it eats milo, and has a dwarf friend named otis…

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