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Ward uses affixation to make Sophia a shotgun. He aims for the zombie's head. Now I am ready. Bonum nocte, culus.

I recall reading about an effective method for defeating this type of miscreant. However, I will require a distraction... Careful, everyone. Maybe his bite will infect you or something. I read that that's a thing that can happen. Ward uses anagram to turn Sophia into a gun.

Finally.

Well, this is only a language violation if he actually murdered someone that used proper grammar... True, but you're currently riding on my back. I fail to see what that has to do with... Sophia charges the face-eater.

-Carrow charges the statue with his Blade of Courrone, but still hasn't closed the distance. -Kelgar bashes the statue (3 damage). -Dorgath strikes the statue with his axe (3 damage). -Dorgath kicks the base of the statue (3 damage). Round 10 -The Power Phase is 3 for this turn. -Dorgath's...

Ward hops on Sophia's back. You should be useful in contending with zoo animals, as you are one of them yourself. Nonsense. I've never been to a zoo in my life. A fascinating detail, to be sure. Now then, talking gnu, vitamin-soaked phantom, ghost, and mutant pika: let us journey to this...

Dorgath removes the key from the chaos warrior's neck. Dorgath and Kelgar move forward to search the room while Carrow stands guard. Dorgath finds a compartment hidden at the base of the altar. Kelgar retrieves an iron key from the fallen orc. Then the eyes of the bronze statue above the altar...

Round 8 -The Power Phase is 5 for this turn. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz heals 3 of his Wounds. -Carrow shoots Chaos Warrior #3. The arrow lodges in the enemy's armor. -Chaos Warrior #1 swipes Throg's head with his blade (5/19). -Chaos Warrior #1 his Throg's torso with another swing (3/19)...

Round 6 -The Power Phase is 1 for this turn. No Unexpected Events during boss fights. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz fully restores his Wounds. -Carrow nails Chaos Warrior #3 with an arrow to the chest (2 damage). -Chaos Warrior #1 thrusts at Throg, but Throg parries. -Chaos Warrior #1 stabs...

Correct. In fact, Dorgath could attach the Runestone of Destruction, level-up, and then get up to three more runes inscribed by a runesmith (because he'd then be Level 2, and he gets two DGR runes per battle-level).

Ward tosses the bicycle wheel into the air and catches it by the spokes.

Let's just open everyone's inventories... Name: Throg G'Nflor Wounds: 7/19 Move: 4 Weapon Skill: 4 Ballistic Skill: 5+ Strength: 3 Toughness: 3(5)(if Sword of Defiance is equipped, then 8) Initiative: 3 Attacks: 1 Damage: 1D6 Pinning: 5+ Luck: 0 Willpower: 2 Gold: 3,418 Items: *Currently...

Dorgath opens his inventory... Name: Dorgath Rockhammer Wounds: 13/15 (at the end of the 5th round of this combat) Move: 4 Weapon Skill: 4 Ballistic Skill: 5+ Strength: 3 Toughness: 4(5) Initiative: 2 Attacks: 1 Damage: 1D6 (+1) Pinning: 5+ Luck: 0 Willpower: 4 Gold: 2,176 Items: *Equipped -...

Ward examines the leadership roll. Don't eat that! I was already satiated on account of that cheeseburger. Calm down. Ward uses homophony to transform Sophia from a flower into flour. Ward uses synecdoche to turn Sophia into bread. Ward uses synecdoche again to turn Sophia into a feast. I...

Round 4 -The Power Phase is 1 for this turn. No Unexpected Events during boss fights. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz restores 1 of his Wounds. -Carrow shoots Chaos Warrior #2 in the chest (2 damage). -Chaos Warrior #1's sword bounces off Throg's helmet, but doesn't actually hurt him. -Chaos...

Round 3 -The Power Phase is 2 for this turn. -Kelgar fails to bless anything. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz restores 1 of his Wounds. -Carrow fires at Chaos Warrior #1. He misses. -Chaos Warrior #1 stabs Throg in the gut (7/19). -Chaos Warrior #1 attempts to stab Throg, but accidentally drops...

Dorgath is already engaged in melee with the chaos warriors, so he'll have to roll to break away in order to engage #1, who is currently out of his reach. Throg can reach #1, #2, and #3. Dorgath can reach #2, #3, and #4. Kelgar can reach #3 and #4. Carrow isn't yet engaged in melee, so he can...

Round 2 -The power phase is 6 for this turn. -Skabnoze casts Da Krunch. The mighty foot of Gork stomps on Throg for 10 damage (9/19). -Kelgar blesses himself with Vanquish. Kelgar gets an extra attack this turn. -Dorgath throws another firebomb (1 left), burning Skabnoze, Chaos Warrior #1, and...

Ward lowers his gun and uses synonymy to make the gun a pistol, then uses homophony to convert the pistol into a pistil. Finally, Ward uses synecdoche to transform the pistil into a full flower. Ward places the flower into his breast pocket. Sophia has reminded me that she is the senior agent...

A tall, muscular man in black rappels from the ceiling. As he reaches the floor, he lashes out with his fist, shattering the sliding glass door of a cabinet with the word "DONUTS" written across it. I am Agent Ward Bashenthal: Grammar Police. Your establishment was cited for violating the...