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Ward lowers his gun and uses synonymy to make the gun a pistol, then uses homophony to convert the pistol into a pistil. Finally, Ward uses synecdoche to transform the pistil into a full flower. Ward places the flower into his breast pocket. Sophia has reminded me that she is the senior agent...

A tall, muscular man in black rappels from the ceiling. As he reaches the floor, he lashes out with his fist, shattering the sliding glass door of a cabinet with the word "DONUTS" written across it. I am Agent Ward Bashenthal: Grammar Police. Your establishment was cited for violating the...

Round 1 -The power phase is 5 for this turn. -Skabnoze casts "Mork, Save Uz!" Kelgar resists the orcish magic. -Kelgar blesses Carrow with Vanquish. Carrow gets an extra attack this turn. -Dorgath throws a firebomb (2 more remaining). Skabnoze, Chaos Warrior #1, and Chaos Warrior #2 each take 3...

"I forget, where were we going again?"

Not Barak Varr, but Karak Azgal. Barak Varr is a massive dwarven fortress along the corner of the Black Gulf. And no, I'm not such an expert on Warhammer lore that I knew that. I have a map. Karak Azgal (The City of Jewels), where you are, is a famous ruin a few hundred miles SES of Barak Varr...

The brief trek to the northern end of the corridor is uneventful. The party is positioned by the door (Carrow and Kelgar standing behind Dorgath and Throg, as usual).

Because it's been a while, I thought that it would be a good idea to post the full map of the deep so far. The party are currently in the westernmost room. Secret doors that have been discovered are marked as such and non-secret doors that have yet to be opened have red borders. All other doors...

I was at the library yesterday, probably about the time that he died. I saw some of his books, but I grabbed one by Frederik Pohl instead. Hope that guy doesn't die too...

The only big difference between this level and the level above it is that this one noticeably displays signs of factions that the local dwarves would consider enemies. Earlier, Throg noted that the large, magically locked door had symbols used by chaos sorcerers (bad guys) and would lead to...

Carrow takes the sword... Blade of Couronne: Each undead monster adjacent to the wielder loses 1 Wound at the end of each turn, which does not regenerate. Throg identifies the talisman... Lucky Talisman: Once per adventure, this can be used to make a single attack automatically hit...

Throg inspects the mummy. The only thing salvageable seems to be a talisman around the mummy's neck. Dorgath checks the sarcophagus. It is very old and looks rather sinister, with what seem to be markings related to the Tomb Kings of Nehekhara (which is nowhere near here). Although Dorgath's...

"The right direction is probably the direction along the road that is away from Gromshire, rather than toward it. That's how exploring usually works. You go where you haven't been, not where you have. I think we've all lived basically our entire lives in Gromshire..." Thialu glances nervously...

Round 4 -The power phase is 2 for this turn. -Kelgar fails to bless anything. -Dorgath throws another firebomb as he closes in on the mummy, careful to keep the party out of the blast radius. The mummy takes 5 damage from the flames. -Carrow becomes afraid of mummies. His attacks against them...

I play Diablo II far more than is healthy. I played the beta for Diablo III and I'm not inclined to actually get the game. I probably have a long list of all the things I don't like about Diablo III, but I will spare everyone because no one cares. Mainly, it's this: I've inadvisedly spent more...

Thialu frowns. "Oh, I'm not a soldier or a pig-farmer, so I guess that's why I'm unfamiliar with the terms. And I'm used to being on my own, so I don't have to think about things like this. It's all very interesting. I guess it makes sense to have someone with keen eyes walking in the front of...

Round 3 -The Power Phase is 2 for this turn. -Kelgar fails to bless anything. -Dorgath tosses another firebomb, immolating the mummy (6 damage). -Carrow becomes afraid of skeletons. His attacks against them are at -1 to hit. -Carrow springs to his feet and swings his sword at a skeleton...

"Point? Rear guard? What are you talking about?"

Round 2 -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz fully heals him. -Dorgath throws another fire bomb, incinerating the mummy for 3 damage. -Carrow gets to one knee and watches for any attacks coming his way or for the arrival of new opponents. -Throg blocks the mummy's swing with his axe. -The mummy grabs...

Round 1 -Kelgar blesses Carrow with Vanquish. Carrow gains an extra attack. -Dorgath lobs at firebomb at the mummy (6 bombs remaining). Two skeletons are blasted apart (4 skeletal opponents remaining). The explosion also burns the mummy (5 damage). -Carrow charges the skeletons, but loses...

"...mushroom flambée, mushroom muffins, mushroom burritos, mushroom falafel, mushroom fritters, mushroom custard, mushroom poppers, mushroom pudding..." Yeah. Thialu doesn't wear armor and never has. But having spent more time sifting through underbrush looking for elusive fungi than...