You make the Card: A Really Bad Creature!!!

[Force of Will Smith]

Tempting Wurm, Goblin Assassin, Flesh Reaver
Phyrexian Dreadnought, Goblin Cadets, desecration elemental
Chimney Imp, Any Overcosted Islandwalker

I'm trying to make a creature... a really bad one...
above are some bad or restrictive use cards..

list some awful cards and once we form a consensus we'll have a laughably bad creature.
Confusing text will be allowed, as will bizarre casting costs.

1. I want to make it bad but playable in some form, even if it requires huge conditions to be met... a 0 for a 0/0 doesnt count..
2. By bad, i'm not talking casting cost... a 6cc for a 1/1 with no abilities is just silly
3. It should be laughable upon casting... it should be a spell that almost any opponent would let you cast...

 

[Oversoul]

I don't think the ones you've listed are quite BAD enough...

Tempting Wurm: Okay, this is bad. But at the very least it's a great card for multiplayer politics.

Goblin Assassin: Underpowered and random. Pretty bad, but there are worse creatures.

Flesh Reaver: This isn't even bad. It's actually quite good. Have you ever played against Suicide Black?

Phyrexian Dreadnought: This was so good it had to be errata'd. And it's still a bomb with Illusionary Mask (which had to be banned in Legacy because of Phyrexian Dreadnought).

Goblin Cadets: There's this archetype called "Sligh." It likes cheap 2/1 attackers.

Desecration elemental: Wasn't someone mentioning how fun this thing is with Greater Good? I've never played with or against this guy, but he's only bad in the same way that Phyrexian Negator is.

Chimney Imp: Okay, this is true fodder. It's much worse than the others you listed.

The worst creature ever is probably Wood Elemental.

 

[Force of Will Smith]

oh i know they're not bad enough. I just listed some conditional cards..
Flesh reaver is amazing.. most of those creatures are pretty good... i was thinking we could combine some of their costs and detriments to make a super awful creature..

 

[evan d]

Isn't there a blue 1/1 flyer for 6+ something that morphs?

 

[Oversoul]

Okay, let's start with this...

Oversoul (0)
Artifact Creature -- Perniciosity
When Oversoul comes into play, any player may pay 1 life to put Oversoul into its owner's graveyard.

When Oversoul leaves play, put all cards from your hand and library into your graveyard.

If Oversoul is put into your graveyard from anywhere, lose 10 life and shuffle Oversoul into your library.

0/1

 

[jorael]

Isn't there a blue 1/1 flyer for 6+ something that morphs?

You probably mean Scornful Egotist. A 1/1 creature for 8 mana that can morph.

Scornful Egotist does a great job fueling all kind of cards that care about high casting cost (erratic explosions, heed the mist, rush of knowledge, homarid spawning bed). So instead of being just stupid, it's good in specific decks.

 

[Force of Will Smith]

!! i have the perfect Crap creature.... he was kinda tough to engineer... but i like his outcome... you have to have a TON of requirements to meet him.. eventhough at first he looks really tasty....

check it out

as we all know... orcs for the most part suck... and they suck worse when conditions arent met to your liking... I give you...

Orcish Juggernaut!!
you actually need to base an entire deck around this guy... even then.. you can only play him like turn 6-7 and requires about 13+ mana to keep him in play..
the best part is that for any moment one of the requirements gets sweeped... he's toast...

they can kill a 1/1... they can remove your graveyard.. they can bounce a creature... they can steal a creature.. an artifact, a land... they can destroy a land.. almost every single player can deal with this..

i'll attach him with a new message