Unmasked and Exposed...

[DÛke]

...

And so I stumble upon the site that is the CPA, which is becoming more and more like a hunted ghost town by the second. As if that's not enough, I think it looks boring...but I suddenly remembered, it's a Magic site...so it *is* supposed to look boring, unintelligent, and pathetic. I'm surprised Ed didn't work hard at making it look geeky, but I'm sure he's planning something somewhere. The kid just hides somewhere, and then suddenly comes outta nowhere with another "wonderful" innovation. One day we'll just come up here, and...the CPA will be the geeks' paradise...

I quit Magic. I don't like Magic. Sometimes, I question if I ever liked Magic, or maybe I just didn't have anything else to blow my money on. I've already gotten everything else...I guess diving into the geeks' realm was one experience.

I think you guys should quit Magic because...well, to use it in a term that most of you retards understand...it's "gay"! You should quit Magic, and maybe *finally* experience the thing you've been missing out -- life. God. I heard stories about "smelly kids" and so forth, which only goes further to proving that most of you are losers.

I really can't believe how many idiots hang around here, or in any other Magic gathering. It really makes me question the theory of evolution. And believe me, I am a being that treats everyone equally, but the the level of stupidity that this place offers is more than offending -- it's life threatening to know that people like some of you exist! I could give out names, but...well, that'd just leave 3-4 unscratched -- touched upon -- but not scratched.

Here's the big idea -- quit Magic. Rethink what you have needlessly and endlessly spent your money upon, and get a life...and a shower too. Jesus!

You may ask what evoked this sudden burst of...truth...and I will gladly answer it: I've felt it for so long. I feel that you guys should know how stupid you look with those cards. Period.

Flames, cries...tears of not handling the unmasked obvious...*all welcomed*...

 

[Spiderman]

Did you forget to log out on a public computer, DUke?

 

[Multani]

Are you alright DUke? Have you been sniffing too much of that weed?
Here, sniff this:
*hands DUke a minty-fresh Magic card, pulled straight from a booster.*

There...all better now.

 

[DÛke]

...I'm the "real" DÛke, hence I know Ed. Oh, sorry. I'm talking to a lower life form.

Just one more point to prove my conclusion.

Get a life!

 

[DÛke]

...

And one more thing, I suggest you people stop writing those stupid articles that start off with nothing, and then goes deeper into nothing...and even resolve at nothing.

Talk about lame...

 

[Spiderman]

So what is "life"? Obviously to you it must mean "no Magic". But say you're putting your time into your music. Can that be called "a life"? Is my Magic time equal to your music time?

I think you're trying to start another "discussion" that might evolve into three or more pages, just like that other thread about the direction of the CPA that brought a lot of people to post. But like I predicted, once everyone had their say, this place retreated into its same 'ol, same 'ol. And trying to post a similiar thread that is basically asking where the CPA is going probably won't bring out anything new. And "the life" has also been discussed before.

This is just going to be another "flash in the pan", if other people actually respond to it in the evening...

 

[Shiro, Time Devourer]

IDGARA whether or not you're quitting, but you should *really* cool your jets about the capacities of the CPA.

It's really not the God of All Pastimes, true, but it doesn't single-handedly negate anyone's possibility of having a life. Only the worshipfully obsessed among us have that problem, Duke. Those types, who see themselves as the next Finkel and who'd pay $50+ for something with a raw material cost of .25, truly are way out in left field, but not every player is like that. I know I'm not. i'll probably sell my cards in a few years time too, but I won't flip those who are still in it the bird by saying they're stinky, wilfully immature, incurably stupid, retarded, lower life forms. I'll just not be in the MTG community.

You sound really arrogant, man. First the log, *then* the speck.

Matthew 7:3-5

 

[Lotus Mox]

mhh.... April fools joke or no?

On the one hand this post is really ridiculous, on the other hand it's DÛke, so you can't be sure.

 

[Spiderman]

See, I bet that's it and of course I get taken in. This is why someone else witty needs to put something on the front page instead of me...

 

[arhar]

I also think this is an April Fools Joke, although, knowing Duke, I wouldn't be surprised if it's not

 

[DÛke]

Actually, Shiro, I think you're an idiot. Please stop offending my psyche.

Here's a list of some CPA members, and their criminal offense:

Gizmo -- Smart on the front; deep as s**t on the inside.
Istanbul -- deep as s**t on the front, almost smart on the inside.
Purple Jester -- Doesn't participate much. Ban her.
Multani -- Doesn't participate much. Ban him.
Spiderman -- Spends too much time on the boards. The "classic" example of a Magic player. "Restrict" him.
Zadok -- I took care of him already. He's a "legend."
Duel -- I *really* took care of him already.
Chaos Turtle -- Oops, he has few brain cells left. He should be banned to stop his exposure to this place.
Arhar -- No Jews allowed.
Almindhra -- No transsexuals allowed.
Lotus Mox -- No Germans allowed.
Ademis -- Whow! Few brain cells left! Ban him! Get him outta here!
FoR -- I don't know. He just shouldn't be allowed.
Nodnarb -- See FoR.
EricBess -- Has more than 4 kids. Totally unacceptable. I guess some people have nothing better to do than just making kids.
Griffth_Se -- Sorry, no user handles that start with "G."
Ransac -- Too stupid.
TheOrgg -- Too fat.
Hetemti -- His user handle is hard to say. Ban him.

Of course, I should be banned from this place because I'm being exposed to God-knows-what-else...

Anyone else I missed? They probably must be banned anyway.

How could you say that's a list of people, and not animals?

Spiderman -- I'm not trying to bring people out or have a long thread or something; only losers (like your fine self) would like doing that. I don't give a f**k if anyone sees this or even responds. The truth *must* be said somewhere in here just in case somebody with brain cells left stumbles upon this text and decides to give up Magic.

I'm sure someobody out there is viewing this and treating it like a Bible or something...

<sigh>

 

[Svenmonkey]

How about "Svenmonkey- No slightly depressed athiest losers. Ban him." ?

Ach, thespacebarisn't working correctly.

 

[theorgg]

LOL!



Anyone else notice the date?

 

[Neo_Keo]

He Forgot about me ME ME ME!!!! The Great ONE. The Amabassador of War the God of all things except everything else.

I'm now Depress now Thanx Duke.

If you hate magic can I have your Selenia Angel Card Collection?

 

[nodnarb24]

Originally posted by DÛke
FoR -- I don't know. He just shouldn't be allowed.
Nodnarb -- See FoR.

I'll take that as a compliment. I laughed my butt off while reading those "criminal offenses."

P.S. Just to let you know, I quit playing magic about a year ago.

 

[Hetemti]

If this is an April Fools thing, I'm sorry, but I know you could have done better.

If not, and you're done with Magic, godspeed my friend. I hope the music thing works out and that you enjoy your time spent with it tenfold over that with Magic.

As for my name, well...I'd explain it's proper pronuciation, but then I couldn't be banned for it, and I wouldn't want to ruin your rant like that.

Anyway, thanks for the entertainment. To have one's faults pointed out is the only way to improve on them. Plus you've helped keep the boards alive by stirring the waters. Kudos.

 

[DÛke]

...

"Neo_Keo," is yet another proof. The guy *wants* to be insulted. Now that's just...sad.

Oh, yeah, I forgot few more:

Apollo -- Sorry. If you can't afford clothes, please don't visit the boards and be proud of it.

Svenmonkey, you're just a pathetic child. I believe that's a great enough of a punishment.

And Hetemti, or whatever the f#@k *that* is...you're right...actally...the day is gettin' older now. I got college classes tommorow, not to mention some music production work to do...I can't say much anymore.

It has been an April Fools joke...and it's my first one *ever*.

As for those who took it a bit seriously, now that's...really...pathetic. And sad.



I love this place! I, myself, would be honored to flame anyone who would say those things on it or its people...<laughs>

 

[Istanbul]

Well, when I read this thread, I figured...either it IS an April Fools' joke, or it's not.

If it IS, ha ha. Not a very *good* April Fools' joke, more like an April Fools' insult, but it's not too terribly bad for a first attempt.

If it's not, oh well. I don't let others' opinions of me affect me, as a rule.

So there you go. I don't worry much about it either way, and my life proceeds apace.

 

[Ransac]

I'm stupid. Well, well, well..............YOU'RE STUPID!!!!!


*Ransac goes and hides in his pillow fort.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Spiderman]

Hey, I'll admit, I had initial doubts at first at the legitimacy of the thread (hence my question) but as it went on, I got taken in. I just thought Duke felt the need to stir up the board a little 'cause it was slow. Again. (the slow, not the stirring up).

I'm not quite sure how spending a lot of time on the board = classic Magic player though. It really equals nothing to do at work.

I'll give Duke props for fooling me...