Ransac's back with a vengence

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
That's right, after dilly-dallying most of the year from my duties over the resident crazy guy. I'm determined to make up for it.



So now, we start the process.

Here's what we do. You give me a magic card(pre-onslaught, please) and I'll try to incorporate you into a story that has something to do with that card.



LONG LIVE THE EURASIAN PROSTITUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!

RANSAC IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Azreal one day realized that his day as pope were numbered. So, disguised as a giant french fry, he makes his escaped to india, where he is captured by baboons and beaten nightly. Eventually, he met someone named Shaharazad, or Master P, for short. Master P freed him, though it took a lot of pain, and I mean a LOT of pain, to escape. Yet, when Azreal awoke the next day, he was back at the Vatican a few days ago. After repeating this process several times, he comes to the conclusion that the loop will continue until the baboons finally win, due to some cheap white magic spell they kept casting.







:D


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
S

Svenmonkey

Guest
Yavimaya Wurm. I seriously don't know why, though my old MOTL sig has a little to do with it.
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
After another horrible night of rejection at the clubs(again), Svenmonkey decides that he needs a confidence booster. So, he purchases some "enhancement" pills. After a few weeks, he noticed that his formally "Craw-like Wurm" is looking more beefier than usual.

"Oh yeah!", exclaimed Svenmonkey, "No I've got TRAMPLE power!"



:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D


Ransac, cpa trash man
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
After doing his traditional annual washing-of-the-breechcloth, theorgg notices an acute stench in the air like no other that he'd ever smelt before...........and it wasn't him. Quickly turning around, he spots approximately 108.232444 feet away from him was a new rival: The Soul Gorger Orgg. theorgg realizes that if he were to battle in his current state(clean breechcloth), he would surely lose, for you see, the Soul Gorger Orgg just completely reeked, as mean it stunk(literally and figuratively).

theorgg: The battle is your today, but the war is not.......ah screw it.


theorgg walks about 50 feet away to train for the next fifteen weeks. What will happen to our hero?



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
All three at once(plus adding firebreathing for fun)!!!!!!!!!!


After losing his strength from playing his his Bone Flute, Uncle Istvan decides to sit in his rocking chair on the porch. After a while, he frantically screams out "NURSE RATCHETT!!!!!! BRING ME MY CIGARETTES!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then passes out. After a few hours, he wakes up and notices that his front yard has been infested with Manabarbs. He then remembers that fire will kill the damn things(and solve the whole cutting the grass problem he'd been neglecting). He pulls in a red mana to conjure firebreathing, and for some reason takes one damage. PHOOM!!!!!!! One half of the bastards are toast. Pulls in another red mana. PHOOOM!!!!!!! Oops! He missed one. "One more time" says Uncle Isty. He pulls in another red mana and..........promptly dies to lethal damage. The remaining Manabarbs grows a mouth and says "Heh-heh-heh".



Ransac, cpa trash man
 
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