JOKES

[Loafing Giant]

DID YOU EVER GET HOME FROM SCHOOL/WORK AND JUST WANT A GOOD LAUGH? ME TOO!

SOOOO ANYONE THAT HAS GOOD JOKES POST THEM HERE

KaVu LoRd NOT TOO MANY!!!!

 

[Volradon]

Um, try the off topic forum

 

[terzarima]

No man, we are trading jokes, where else would you suggest for trading... jeez you're so contrdictive

 

[nodnarb24]

I have some jokes but they are completely tasteless and will offend people.

 

[Istanbul]

What does it mean when a blonde has a runny nose?

She's full.

 

[terzarima]

Hehe blonde jokes, we should make this into a viola joke section

Why is a violin better than a viola?
It can hold more beer

How do you tune a viola section?
Shoot all but one

What is thte difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a viola?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline

 

[Ristik]

I am to assume that you are a violinist, ademis?

 

[Istanbul]

A man dashes into his doctor's office, pushing his way past several people in the waiting room, and bursts in on the doctor while he's working. "Doctor, doctor!" he hollers. "I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor turns to look at the man, frowns, and says, "I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to be a little patient."

 

[Loafing Giant]

VOLRADON

what is wrong with putting jokes here?

NODNARB

as long as the CPA has no problem with your jokes feel free to post them!


BLONDE JOKES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!!




HEHE VIOLA.....BEER....JOKE...HEHE!!

 

[terzarima]

Actually I'm not a violist, just a person who can appreciate them

What's the difference between cutting up an oinion and cutting up a viola?
You cry when you cut the oinion

Why shouldn't you put 3 violist in a car and drive it off the cliff?
Becuase you can fit in a couple more

The conductor of the orchestra notices the lead violist and the lead oboist having a heated argument, so the conductor goes over to investigate and asks what has happened
"He un-tuned my viola" says the violist
"What's the problem?" asks the conductor
"He won't tell me which one!"

 

[Thrash Golem]

DISCLAIMER:this is a racist joke. i know everyone is gonna hate me but i could care less. its the internet for crying out loud.


How do Chinese people name their children?

Throw their dishes down the stairs!

 

[Loafing Giant]

HOW DO YOU CONFUSE A BLONDE?

TELL HIM/HER TO SIT IN THE CORNER OF A CIRCULAR ROOM.

HOW DOES A BLONDE CONFUSE YOU?

HE/SHE TELLS YOU THAT THEY DID.

 

[Ristik]

Actually, I am a blond who has successfully sat in the corner of a circular room. It is very difficult to explain to some people, but it involves the fact that it is mathematically impossible to build a room that is perfectly circular.

 

[Loafing Giant]

RIGHT

 

[MrXarvox]

A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, and santa claus are on a street corner when a $100 bill lands in front of them. Who picks it up?

The dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist!

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

those aren't your kinda jokes Xarvox where is your long list of dead babie jokes

 

[Mikeymike]

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!

What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.

Define Transvestite:
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary

What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

 

[nodnarb24]

I know some dead baby jokes.

How do you get 10,000 dead babies into a phone booth?

A blender

How do you get 10,000 dead babies out of a phone booth?

Vacuum Cleaner

It's been a while since I told them, I'll try to remember them and post them.

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

lol my fav is whats worse then a trash can full of dead babies
one live one at the bottom eating its way out

 

[Volradon]

Ok, I cant resist

Whats better then ten babies in one trash can?

One baby in ten trash cans!