Happy Birthday...

[DÛke]

...Darsh!

Darsh is been with us from a long, long time ago...before God knows what - before Ransac, before Fuzzy...before...um...just before!

He's a good member...serious with a little fun for a side kick...I respect such properties in any member.

Tommorow is his birthday; lucky him...because I've always wanted my birthday on a Friday.

Now Darsh man, I don't know what the other members are goin' to give you...how old are you gonna be anyway - either 16, or 17...I know that for sure.

What do you want for your birthday? A stripper? What? Oh, your parents won't let such people in your house, now would they? Oh darn...<whispers> come to my place then.

How about getting you drunk for the first time of your life? I'll bring the vodka, wines, whiskies, beers, liquor, you name it...oh, and cool-aid and soda. I'll make you puke.

I don't know, what do you want?

Members, I know you all know Darsh so...give him something (digital) for his birthday...he's been with us since along, and he'll be with us for more...

Have a party if you want to, I'll bring the...um..."snacks".

 

[nodnarb24]

I BROUGHT THE "SPECIAL" BROWNIES!!!

WOW!!! Look at all the pretty colors!

I'm floating, man!

These are some good brownies!

 

[DÛke]

...!

Does Darshy boy like pie or cake? I'm askin' Mr. Apollo bird boy to bake us some new kind'a snack, called Darshy: it's a mix of pie and cake...so everyone could enjoy it, even Istanbul.

Oh, and Darsh told me he likes a couple of girls over too...ok...how about the Spice Girls to "spice up your life"?

Come on people, we don't have all year or whatever, bring it ON baby!

 

[Hawaiian mage]

I'll spend MY money on an e-gift when I'm sure he's here to appreciate it.

-Hawaiian "loophole(Where did that term come from any way?)" mage

 

[Apollo]

***Apollo walked into the room, carrying the Easy-Bake Oven, and wearing an apron with a big smiley face on it that was way too long for him and trailed behind him as he walked. He pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, then a pair of oven mitts over them. He put on a pair of goggles, then a welder’s mask over them. Then, he strode (or staggered, with all of that equipment) into the corner.

The guests could only guess as to what went on in that corner. They waited in nervous anticipation, as Apollo set to work on the Darshy. They hung on every squawk of frustration and every muffled curse. Occasionally, a brief light would flash, as Apollo mixed two more volatile ingredients. But he did not emerge from the corner.

Finally, after hours of tense waiting, Apollo turned and faced the group. Everyone moved closer in anticipation. He opened his beak to speak: “Oops.”

Then, an explosion flared up around Apollo. Smoke filled the room, and the guests were forced to pour out of the door, coughing, as smoke alarms blared. They waited, saddened by the failure of the Darshy, for Apollo to join them.

But he did not come through the door. The guests could see occasional flashes of light and hear screams emitting from the room. Eventually, the guests dispersed, none of them willing to go back in after Apollo.

Weeks and then months passed. No sign was seen of Apollo. The auditorium where the party had taken place became abandoned and decrepit. The CPA Members wondered about the fate of the lovable bird. Even DUke became curious (once he ran out of money to pay the strippers).

Finally, the bravest of the CPA members could not stand to wait any longer. TheOrgg let out a massive belch, summoning the other members to his side. He apprised them of the situation, and what they had to do. Some of the other members quailed at the thought of returning to that room, but the rage of the Orgg scared them even more.

The group joined in front of the door leading into the building. It seemed like it had been an eternity since the fateful day when they had last seen Apollo. Multani stood by the door, holding his tree trunk. A noxious odor, the signal from TheOrgg, told Multani that it was time to knock the door down. He pulled his trunk back for a massive blow.

The door opened. Multani dropped his tree trunk in surprise, much to the dismay of Fuzzy (who was standing next to Multani), as Apollo walked out. His feathers were rumpled, and were not their usual lustrous crimson. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he had not slept in months.

“I’ve done it!” Apollo shouted. “Done it! The Darshy is complete! My masterpiece!”

Apollo stopped and looked around. “Oh, hi guys. Did you wait for me all this time? That was awfully nice of you.” He continued without a response. “But it was all worth it! For I have created the perfect food!” Apollo produced a portal and reached inside. He pulled his arm out and brought with it a covered dish. He removed the silver lid to reveal the most delicious-looking food any of the members had ever seen. The dish was huge, containing a creation the likes of which had never been imagined. There was layer upon layer of cake, of all flavors, separated by layers of pie filling. Every type of pie ever conceived was represented, and the whole thing was topped with a layer of delicious icing.

Apollo finally noticed the disgusted looks on the faces of all of the members. “You don’t think it looks good?” he asked, in a hurt tone.

“No,” Zadok replied. “It looks incredible. It’s just that, well, you’ve been in their for 3 months. And you really need a shower.”

“Yeah, you smell like a Magic tournament,” Yellowjacket added.

“Oh. Heh. Sorry.” Apollo looked sheepish. But then he perked up. “Well, come on, Darsh! Try it!”

Darsh took a fork that Apollo had produced from the portal and dug in to the Darshy. He took a huge bite.

“I don’t like it.”

Apollo was never seen again.***

That story was brought to you by my weird mind. I hope it made sense...

 

[Chaos Turtle]

Hey, could someone please pass the |3|20\/\/|\||[=z[color="336600"]???!!!!11222''''22112'[/color]

 

[nodnarb24]

[me]passes CT some brownies.[/me]

[me]takes a piece of the Darshy, eats it, then pukes.[/me]

That is the worst god awful piece of food I have ever had.

 

[terzarima]

Well happy birthday Darsh, And sorry about that whole (*coughbrokentinkerdeckthatbeatyouandyouwerejustbeingplainunfairwhenyousaidIcouldn'tuseitanymoreandthenIstillbeatyouwiththatdarkesthour/cleansedeacksoHAH!cough* )

Coughing incident thing, you know what I mean. So happy birthday, man, really.. No hard feelings, right?

 

[DÛke]

...kind of made sense, Apollo.

Kind of.

Well, Darsh...Apollo worked on that for the whole time, and you just say: "I don't like it"? That's not fair, BUT...since we have a common thing (disliking Apollo's cooking), let's just keep the party goin', after all...WHO IS Apollo?

So...Darshy wasn't gonna be any new kind'a food...Apollo messed it up...hmmmm, maybe I should've ordered a more experienced chef, like Phyrexian Pie Eater....but he's too swayed on making pie...

Who likes, both...Pie and Cake, yet, still knows how to freakin' cook? I don't know if we have such a member yet...

Well, not everyone gave Darsh a present, and that's not good...how would YOU like ME to crash YOUR birthday party when the times comes, IF anyone manages to remember that it's your birthday, that is. Give Darsh a present...right this freakin' instant!!!

 

[K9Archmage]

Happy birthday Darsh! Do you know what you get from me? A genuine, premuim, happy, floating, falling, demented, funny, cloned, multicolored hamster!
i hope you like it!

Hoipa

 

[Darsh]

Yeah, Duke's right today is my birthday and I'm 16 (Wish I was 17 though)

Stripper's Duke? Sounds more like a present for you...

Now mabye we could do something about the Darshy.

[me] takes a slice of Darshy, some brownies, and a little vodka puts it all into a blender.

wrrrrr(blender noise)wrrrrr

Takes it all out, pours it into a glass and drinks it all at once...his eyes glaze over instantly.

(Que Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb")

Iz luvs youse guyz![/me]

I don't need any presents, all I need is a place where I can talk to smart, funny people from all over the world.....anyone know where I can find it?

And ademis, don't make me come over there.

 

[Daggertooth]

Smart and Funny people? Hmmmm...I can't think of any place right now.
Oh happy birthday. I brought you a brand new car for your birthday. The left wheel is gone and its missing part of its engine, but its kinda new.

[me] slips into the party and starts guzzling the Wine. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Daggertooth then passes out in the middle of the room [/me]

Daggertooth

 

[Apollo]

Sigh. No one likes my cooking. I worked so hard on it, too. My life is meaningless.

[me]commits suicide, then pops right back to life.[/me]

I bet Snowy would have liked it...

 

[terzarima]

Come on Apollo you know I'd like it

[me] Takes a bit of the darshy[/me]
Well its...
[me] Starts to choke [/me]
Not bad..
[me] starts to turn purple and runs to the nearest toilet [/me]

Darsh, happy birthday, even thought its about 3 days after it now... but anyway, if you lived in Canada you could drive now, not sure 'bout those darn united starts but up here in Canada...

Poor darsh he never knew what hit him, I think I'll get Appr again so I can beat him again *cough withoutthatdarnbrokentinkerdeckbutabetterneweronebuwahahahahahahahacough* But dear darsh will have to get AIM or icq to play.

 

[Darsh]

I have AIM ademis, just check my profile and I'll take you on anytime.

 

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

I give you that Invasion print sheet that that guy stole before the set came out.

 

[DÛke]

...glad y'er back Ademis; that don't mean y'gotta go behind my boy Darsh up here and threat him like that!

I'd watch my back if I were you, Ademis.

 

[Darsh]

Yeah ademis, I'll meet you in the squared circle on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! We'll have a no-holds-barred steel-caged match to see who the real majic playa is around here!

 

[Zhaneel]

uhm, sorry i'm late, but happy belated birthday!

6 more months, 6 more months, 6 more months...

 

[Ransac]

*A package from Ransac arrives in the mail at Darsh's house.*

Darsh: Damn priorty mail bull-stuff!!!!

*He opens it and finds a dead monkey in a tu-tu. Apparently, due to the long time it took to get there, the monkey pASSed away from the fumes emitting from it's butt. There is a letter that reads:

Dear Darsh,

Here's a dead monkey in a tu-tu. Enjoy!!!!!*


Darsh: What a sick man.



Ransac, cpa trash man