As I promised to Baskil, here are some of the dumb criminal stories from the Post:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A34514-2001Jan23.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A34514-2001Jan23.html
America's Most Dumbest
- Thread starter Spiderman
- Start date
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Apollo
Guest
One of those people lives in my hometown (Strongsville, Ohio)! I'm so ashamed...
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Purple_jester
Guest
Now, I know where Apollo lives, down to his HOME TOWN! I know where to send the assassins! And if he's not home, I can hold the entire town hostage...
Oops. He might read this. Better delete it...
Oops. He might read this. Better delete it...
D
DÛke
Guest
...I'm not the only one who wants to "delete" you from this world.
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Apollo
Guest
Ah, but your assasins will never see through my glasses-and-moustache disguise! And even if that fails, I can sic my pet guinea pig and her mandibles of death on you! Bwa-ha-ha!
Z
Zadok001
Guest
Be careful, DUke! Be careful, PJ! Those guinea pigs are VICIOUS!
Why are you laughing at me? They are! They are! They've got... Big teeth! Vicious, say I!
Why are you laughing at me? They are! They are! They've got... Big teeth! Vicious, say I!
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nodnarb24
Guest
Your right Zadok, that guinea pig almost bit the head off one of my rats!
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Apollo
Guest
Some people were skeptical of the might of the Guinea Pig. Those few that are still alive shall not make such a mistake again...
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Purple_jester
Guest
Not when I've been training my sister's 3 bunnies as Kamikaze Green Beret Death Commandos since birth! I'll just send them in along with the assassins and Apollo will be...
Darn. Where'd he go... Excuse me, mister. Yes, you with the glasses and moustache. Have you seen a young male around here? Medium height. Bird wings sprouting from his back. No? Haven't seen anyone like that, huh? Well, thanks anyway.
Hmm. Maybe if I blockade his house.
Darn. Where'd he go... Excuse me, mister. Yes, you with the glasses and moustache. Have you seen a young male around here? Medium height. Bird wings sprouting from his back. No? Haven't seen anyone like that, huh? Well, thanks anyway.
Hmm. Maybe if I blockade his house.
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DÛke
Guest
...if I'm scared of "Guinea Pigs", then I guess I wouldn't deserve to destroy the all mighty Apollo, now do I? [laughs] Guinea Pigs he says...what a joke...
SAY! That man with the glasses and moustache does have wings bursted from his freakin' back...hey, sir...you with the glasses, moustache, AND WINGS...do you know of a blonde-haired, medium-highted, wing-bursted male that lives around here? YOU DON'T? Why, what a shame...y'almost look JUST like him, except you have that...dark moustache, which doesn't match your BLONDE hair, and you have that glasses, that DOESN'T have any lenses, but you do have those ugly wings...I thought Apollo is the only one who could manage to obtain such ugly wings...
Hmmm, you, sir, almost look like you're in disguise...
SAY! That man with the glasses and moustache does have wings bursted from his freakin' back...hey, sir...you with the glasses, moustache, AND WINGS...do you know of a blonde-haired, medium-highted, wing-bursted male that lives around here? YOU DON'T? Why, what a shame...y'almost look JUST like him, except you have that...dark moustache, which doesn't match your BLONDE hair, and you have that glasses, that DOESN'T have any lenses, but you do have those ugly wings...I thought Apollo is the only one who could manage to obtain such ugly wings...
Hmmm, you, sir, almost look like you're in disguise...
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Apollo
Guest
<<in Henry Kissinger voice>>
Why, no, I have no idea who you are talking about... but whoever he is, I'm sure he has a vicious guinea pig waiting to eviscerate anyone that comes near him... whoever he is...
Why, no, I have no idea who you are talking about... but whoever he is, I'm sure he has a vicious guinea pig waiting to eviscerate anyone that comes near him... whoever he is...
C
Cateran Emperor
Guest
So wait, Kissinger is in cahoots with the guinea pigs? Wait, that explains everything! Nixon must have been framed by a hamster! Perhaps rats? Mice? Well any small rodent will do really but my point stands.
If I only knew what my point was...
If I only knew what my point was...
S
Sleepy
Guest
I heard one caused that big earthquake last month and several wild ones have been seen in my neighborhood terrorizing the dogs and eating the cats(or is it the other way around?). be afraid. be very afraid of the big bad guinea pig!
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Apollo
Guest
Ah! Sleepy appreciates the true power and might of the guinea pigs!