Z
Zadok001
Guest
[Warning: This contains some spoilers for bad movies.]
I enjoy movies. A lot. I like thinking about them, writing about them, and talking about them. I like tearing the things limb from limb when they're bad, and recommending them to everyone in earshot when they're good. Movies are wonderful things, a form of story-telling that, if done properly, can far exceed the power of written word.
There aren't many types of movies I can't enjoy (pure animation, ala anime or Disney films, for example). I love dramas, comedies, action flicks, thrillers, and damn near anything else you can throw at me.
Lately, I've been feeling very down on one of those great genres - The thriller. As far as I can remember, the last good thriller I saw was the Sixth Sense, and that was years ago. *sigh* On the other hand, I've run the gamut of horrible horror flicks.
Why are they all bloodbaths without any attempt at horror nowadays? Scream took some steps towards brilliant - A pair of intelligent, logical killers with a plan. But it overloaded on blood, and basically tried to throw dead bodies at the audience until someone snapped. The sequels were even worse, Scream 2 being the worst offender (IMHO). They took the blood even further, took extreme measures to keep the killer's identity secret, and had some counfounding leaps of dumb logic that simply didn't fit.
I was annoyed at the Scream series for a long time. A few weeks ago, I broke down, and watched I Know What You Did Last Summer. My. God. Never has there been such a moronic killer in the history of film. For those of you who haven't seen it (don't), the killer is indeed the same guy they ran over. He survived. Towards the end of the film, in the requisite bad guy speech before trying to off the main character, he comments that teenagers should be out doing other things on a nice summer night - Things like driving drunk, doing drugs, and... Dum dum! Getting away with murder! It doesn't appear to occur to him that he is alive, and it's hard to commit murder without actually KILLING someone. It doesn't help that every time one of the characters gets offed, it's because of their own inability to understand basic survival. For example: Do not lock yourself in a room with someone who wants to kill you. That's stupid. Do not stand still looking at him while he charges you with a hook. Do not scream and run away with a panicked look on your face when he's standing in the only doorway. Etc...
Today, the last straw. Final Destination. My wonderful girlfriend and I didn't even bother to finish the thing. Rube Goldberg could not have come up with such contrived and idiotic ways to kill people if he'd tried. One of the main characters takes no less than three fatal injuries before biting it (a piece of metal through her throat, a knife in the chest, and a huge gas explosion). To make matters still worse, the main characters have the absolute STRANGEST ways of reacting to death. One of the main characters gets hit by a bus, splattering all of the others with blood. In the next scene (apparently later that day), they're chatting about who will die next. I don't know about you, but if MY girlfriend got nailed by a bus, covering MY face with blood, I'd be a bit more responsive than THAT.
*sigh*
I suppose my point is fairly simple: I wanna see a good, recent horror flick. Anyone got some for me? Or have you all been as thoroughly pissed at recent thriller movies as I have?
I enjoy movies. A lot. I like thinking about them, writing about them, and talking about them. I like tearing the things limb from limb when they're bad, and recommending them to everyone in earshot when they're good. Movies are wonderful things, a form of story-telling that, if done properly, can far exceed the power of written word.
There aren't many types of movies I can't enjoy (pure animation, ala anime or Disney films, for example). I love dramas, comedies, action flicks, thrillers, and damn near anything else you can throw at me.
Lately, I've been feeling very down on one of those great genres - The thriller. As far as I can remember, the last good thriller I saw was the Sixth Sense, and that was years ago. *sigh* On the other hand, I've run the gamut of horrible horror flicks.
Why are they all bloodbaths without any attempt at horror nowadays? Scream took some steps towards brilliant - A pair of intelligent, logical killers with a plan. But it overloaded on blood, and basically tried to throw dead bodies at the audience until someone snapped. The sequels were even worse, Scream 2 being the worst offender (IMHO). They took the blood even further, took extreme measures to keep the killer's identity secret, and had some counfounding leaps of dumb logic that simply didn't fit.
I was annoyed at the Scream series for a long time. A few weeks ago, I broke down, and watched I Know What You Did Last Summer. My. God. Never has there been such a moronic killer in the history of film. For those of you who haven't seen it (don't), the killer is indeed the same guy they ran over. He survived. Towards the end of the film, in the requisite bad guy speech before trying to off the main character, he comments that teenagers should be out doing other things on a nice summer night - Things like driving drunk, doing drugs, and... Dum dum! Getting away with murder! It doesn't appear to occur to him that he is alive, and it's hard to commit murder without actually KILLING someone. It doesn't help that every time one of the characters gets offed, it's because of their own inability to understand basic survival. For example: Do not lock yourself in a room with someone who wants to kill you. That's stupid. Do not stand still looking at him while he charges you with a hook. Do not scream and run away with a panicked look on your face when he's standing in the only doorway. Etc...
Today, the last straw. Final Destination. My wonderful girlfriend and I didn't even bother to finish the thing. Rube Goldberg could not have come up with such contrived and idiotic ways to kill people if he'd tried. One of the main characters takes no less than three fatal injuries before biting it (a piece of metal through her throat, a knife in the chest, and a huge gas explosion). To make matters still worse, the main characters have the absolute STRANGEST ways of reacting to death. One of the main characters gets hit by a bus, splattering all of the others with blood. In the next scene (apparently later that day), they're chatting about who will die next. I don't know about you, but if MY girlfriend got nailed by a bus, covering MY face with blood, I'd be a bit more responsive than THAT.
*sigh*
I suppose my point is fairly simple: I wanna see a good, recent horror flick. Anyone got some for me? Or have you all been as thoroughly pissed at recent thriller movies as I have?
We got annoyed around the beheading, when both of us sat there saying "And now the little peice of metal shoots off and cuts his head off." At which point it occurred. *sigh* I heard the ending was good, and because of that, I'll convince my wonderful girlfriend to finish it. *sigh* again.