M
MrXarvox
Guest
yea, thaet be correct, I have created a new installment in the Wundindlinyg series on a whim, and have dropped the Dune parody because I don't feel like doing it anymore!
And now, without further ado...
Wundindlinyg, episode 3: Misfortune at the Festival of Ferrets.
SCENE 1: The evil lair of Slahgrumpacious. Slahgrumpacious is still cleaning up the bean debris that was strewn there several months ago during the feast of the hall-o-beans.
Ten million beans is quite a mess when you've had Wundindlinygs and plush mascots rampaging in them, and using mustard to boot. The big screen pops up from the floor, covered in bean paste.
Glorlalahimphintyze: HEEEEEEEEEY! How's my buddy the Slahg-meister?
<Slahgrumpacious raises one forked eyebrow.>
Glorlalahimphintyze: Hey, it's a variation at least. Gets a bit monotonous, just going about the "Greetings, fellow evil dude, what are we plotting to do today".
Slahgrumpacious: "Evil dude", you say. What has gotten into you, my dark comrade?
Glorlalahimphintyze: Just a dash of sunshine and a pinch of joy! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Slahgrumpacious: More twisted than usual, I see. Well, I must ask, what is our diabolical plot for this episode? I have been too busy cleaning up these beans to plot anything more than "mess up their next bloody festival".
Glorlalahimphintyze: Festival? Sounds like fun! When is it?
Slahgrumpacious: Well, let's see. It has to happen this episode because it's a plot device, so that means it's coming up tomorrow. Check your calendar, Glorlalahimphintyze. What interesting events will transpire on the morrow?
Glorlalahimphintyze: Dude! The Festival of Ferrets! I had no idea! I loved that as a kid, when the guy put the ferrets down his trousers and-
Slahgrumpacious: My, my. I never thought I'd suggest this, but have you tried any types of medication for these mood swings?
Glorlalahimphintyze: Nah, nah, never. I go holistic! I ate a bowl of bean sprouts this morning and painted my wall a lighter shade of gray!
Slahgrumpacious: Gak! Your wall was gray? Not BLACK? And you call yourself evil…
Glorlalahimphintyze: Evil is such a negative word. Why not, "prone to diabolical activity"?
Slahgrumpacious: Whatever you say. So, what shall we do at this "festival of ferrets"?
Glorlalahimphintyze: I was thinking, we steal the food from the ferrets tonight, so that they are extra-hungry in the morning! Then, they will be more likely to bite when that guy puts them down his pants! And then… COTTON CANDY!
Slahgrumpacious: Mmm. Cotton candy and mister ferret-pants howling as his unmentionables are damaged by weasel-wannabes. Sounds like a delightful day!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaHAHAhahahahahahaha!
Glorlalahimphintyze: Hehehehehehe…. hehehe… hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
SCENE 2: The Festival of Ferrets. It resembles a county fair, but with Wundindlinygs.
A Wundindlinyg on a stage is loosening his belt…
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II: Here, see my ferrets? My, do they look famished! I think I will feed them! With what, you ask? Why, my ferret food, of course!
<Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II removes a bag marked "ferret food" from his pants. These pants then proceed to fall down, eliciting riotous laughter from the crowd.>
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II:Well, what did you think that bulge was? Ha!
<Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II pulls his pants back up, but holds them open. he then pulls a ferret from its cage.>
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II: Hello, little fella! How's about some ferret food? Oops, why, you slippery little devil!
<The ferret falls into Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II's pants, and all the other ferrets leap from their cage to join their friend.>
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II: OIIIIIGH! AAARGH! The agony! But I fed them well!
<Half the crowd is rolling on the ground laughing their heads off. Four do this literally.>
Slahgrumpacious: <evil laughter> HAHAHAHA! Oh, that was PRECIOUS!
<Glorlalahimphintyze is too busy rolling on the ground himself to hear what Slahgrumpacious said>
SCENE 3: The Park after the fair is over. A mummy taps Slahgrumpacious on the shoulder.
Slahgrumpacious: What do you want? Are you here about the ferret pants guy? We don't know a thing. We swear.
Mummy: No I am not here for your ferret pants guy I am the ferret pants guy I must kill you for from my ferret wounds I have lost the ability to punctuate my sentences
Slahgrumpacious: No! Not a grammatically incorrect undead! I cry in terror, really. Go back to your pyramid, Ace™-face.
Mummy: I am sorry that you feel that way I will strangle you with my bare hands will you please unwrap them for me they are stuck to my sides how do you expect me to do horrid things to you if I cannot even use my hands
Slahgrumpacious: Hahahahaha! You're not really even the ferret-pants guy, are you? You're just any everyday revenge-seeking zombie! Pity you had to impersonate the ferret pants guy to have something to seek revenge for! HAHAHAHAhA!
Mummy: You are not very nice the world will rejoice when I hang your head from the rafters now please untie my hands
Slahgrumpacious: Fat chance. Let's see who you really are!
Mummy: I am King Morfopritagina from the Pugnacious dynasty of ancient Sandstonedom
Slahgrumpacious: Sure you are.
Mummy: I am
Slahgrumpacious: Then how come you have a boot bandaged to your head? Is that some strange burial ritual?
Mummy: Umm yes
Slahgrumpacious: From before they invented boots, eh? Let's see what happens when I cut that boot away…
Mummy: CUT NOT THE BOOT OF THE HEAD OF PIP! DARE YE REMOVE THE WINGS FROM ANGELS OR THE HORNS FROM DEVILS? REMOVE THE BOOT NOT, YOU HAVE SEEN MY IDENTITY AND NEED NOT OFFER PROOF TO THE WORLD THAT IT WAS NOT A SANDSTONIAN KING BUT PIP OF FIBETTYWHAT! I AM EXPOSED! I HAVE DEFIBRILLATED! I KNOW MY PLACE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS! YOU SEE MY POWER AND TREMBLE
Slahgrumpacious: You forgot the exclamation point at the end there.
Pip Fibettywhat: So I did. Thanks for your help. Now I must continue on my merry way, for there are still some who would take the false half-truths of the time cube over the secrets of the metals of grace, blessed be the names of Aluminum and Tin. Ah! I know how to reward you! Take this whistle. It is of blessed Tin, and unmatched in its annoying capacity. Goodbye now, and fare thee well, Slahgrumpacious!
Slahgrumpacious: Er… weren't you trying to kill me just a moment ago? And how did you get loose from those bandages?
Pip: Do not question. It does not suit you.
Slahgrumpacious: Does not suit… okay, whatever you say, Pip.
<Pip is gone.>
SCENE 4: The shadows. Weldleiwengien lurks…
Weldleiwengien: <thinks> That whistle… Broborobobo would love that whistle, yes. Broborobobo would annoy much with that whistle. Annoy… yesssss…..
And now, Rashplataglium Spouts Off!
Rashplataglium:
Yes, I'm talking to you, guys. Never, ever, ever, attempt to put a ferret down your trousers. This is one of the last places a ferret wishes to be, and your attempt will only succeed if you are Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II, who has trained his ferrets to do so with rewards of mice-in-bags, a most pleasant snack for a ferret and a most unpleasant sight for anyone else.
Understand?
<a star flies overhead, accompanied by the words, "the more you know…". >
….To be continued, if I feel like it.
And now, without further ado...
Wundindlinyg, episode 3: Misfortune at the Festival of Ferrets.
SCENE 1: The evil lair of Slahgrumpacious. Slahgrumpacious is still cleaning up the bean debris that was strewn there several months ago during the feast of the hall-o-beans.
Ten million beans is quite a mess when you've had Wundindlinygs and plush mascots rampaging in them, and using mustard to boot. The big screen pops up from the floor, covered in bean paste.
Glorlalahimphintyze: HEEEEEEEEEY! How's my buddy the Slahg-meister?
<Slahgrumpacious raises one forked eyebrow.>
Glorlalahimphintyze: Hey, it's a variation at least. Gets a bit monotonous, just going about the "Greetings, fellow evil dude, what are we plotting to do today".
Slahgrumpacious: "Evil dude", you say. What has gotten into you, my dark comrade?
Glorlalahimphintyze: Just a dash of sunshine and a pinch of joy! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Slahgrumpacious: More twisted than usual, I see. Well, I must ask, what is our diabolical plot for this episode? I have been too busy cleaning up these beans to plot anything more than "mess up their next bloody festival".
Glorlalahimphintyze: Festival? Sounds like fun! When is it?
Slahgrumpacious: Well, let's see. It has to happen this episode because it's a plot device, so that means it's coming up tomorrow. Check your calendar, Glorlalahimphintyze. What interesting events will transpire on the morrow?
Glorlalahimphintyze: Dude! The Festival of Ferrets! I had no idea! I loved that as a kid, when the guy put the ferrets down his trousers and-
Slahgrumpacious: My, my. I never thought I'd suggest this, but have you tried any types of medication for these mood swings?
Glorlalahimphintyze: Nah, nah, never. I go holistic! I ate a bowl of bean sprouts this morning and painted my wall a lighter shade of gray!
Slahgrumpacious: Gak! Your wall was gray? Not BLACK? And you call yourself evil…
Glorlalahimphintyze: Evil is such a negative word. Why not, "prone to diabolical activity"?
Slahgrumpacious: Whatever you say. So, what shall we do at this "festival of ferrets"?
Glorlalahimphintyze: I was thinking, we steal the food from the ferrets tonight, so that they are extra-hungry in the morning! Then, they will be more likely to bite when that guy puts them down his pants! And then… COTTON CANDY!
Slahgrumpacious: Mmm. Cotton candy and mister ferret-pants howling as his unmentionables are damaged by weasel-wannabes. Sounds like a delightful day!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaHAHAhahahahahahaha!
Glorlalahimphintyze: Hehehehehehe…. hehehe… hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
SCENE 2: The Festival of Ferrets. It resembles a county fair, but with Wundindlinygs.
A Wundindlinyg on a stage is loosening his belt…
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II: Here, see my ferrets? My, do they look famished! I think I will feed them! With what, you ask? Why, my ferret food, of course!
<Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II removes a bag marked "ferret food" from his pants. These pants then proceed to fall down, eliciting riotous laughter from the crowd.>
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II:Well, what did you think that bulge was? Ha!
<Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II pulls his pants back up, but holds them open. he then pulls a ferret from its cage.>
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II: Hello, little fella! How's about some ferret food? Oops, why, you slippery little devil!
<The ferret falls into Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II's pants, and all the other ferrets leap from their cage to join their friend.>
Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II: OIIIIIGH! AAARGH! The agony! But I fed them well!
<Half the crowd is rolling on the ground laughing their heads off. Four do this literally.>
Slahgrumpacious: <evil laughter> HAHAHAHA! Oh, that was PRECIOUS!
<Glorlalahimphintyze is too busy rolling on the ground himself to hear what Slahgrumpacious said>
SCENE 3: The Park after the fair is over. A mummy taps Slahgrumpacious on the shoulder.
Slahgrumpacious: What do you want? Are you here about the ferret pants guy? We don't know a thing. We swear.
Mummy: No I am not here for your ferret pants guy I am the ferret pants guy I must kill you for from my ferret wounds I have lost the ability to punctuate my sentences
Slahgrumpacious: No! Not a grammatically incorrect undead! I cry in terror, really. Go back to your pyramid, Ace™-face.
Mummy: I am sorry that you feel that way I will strangle you with my bare hands will you please unwrap them for me they are stuck to my sides how do you expect me to do horrid things to you if I cannot even use my hands
Slahgrumpacious: Hahahahaha! You're not really even the ferret-pants guy, are you? You're just any everyday revenge-seeking zombie! Pity you had to impersonate the ferret pants guy to have something to seek revenge for! HAHAHAHAhA!
Mummy: You are not very nice the world will rejoice when I hang your head from the rafters now please untie my hands
Slahgrumpacious: Fat chance. Let's see who you really are!
Mummy: I am King Morfopritagina from the Pugnacious dynasty of ancient Sandstonedom
Slahgrumpacious: Sure you are.
Mummy: I am
Slahgrumpacious: Then how come you have a boot bandaged to your head? Is that some strange burial ritual?
Mummy: Umm yes
Slahgrumpacious: From before they invented boots, eh? Let's see what happens when I cut that boot away…
Mummy: CUT NOT THE BOOT OF THE HEAD OF PIP! DARE YE REMOVE THE WINGS FROM ANGELS OR THE HORNS FROM DEVILS? REMOVE THE BOOT NOT, YOU HAVE SEEN MY IDENTITY AND NEED NOT OFFER PROOF TO THE WORLD THAT IT WAS NOT A SANDSTONIAN KING BUT PIP OF FIBETTYWHAT! I AM EXPOSED! I HAVE DEFIBRILLATED! I KNOW MY PLACE IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS! YOU SEE MY POWER AND TREMBLE
Slahgrumpacious: You forgot the exclamation point at the end there.
Pip Fibettywhat: So I did. Thanks for your help. Now I must continue on my merry way, for there are still some who would take the false half-truths of the time cube over the secrets of the metals of grace, blessed be the names of Aluminum and Tin. Ah! I know how to reward you! Take this whistle. It is of blessed Tin, and unmatched in its annoying capacity. Goodbye now, and fare thee well, Slahgrumpacious!
Slahgrumpacious: Er… weren't you trying to kill me just a moment ago? And how did you get loose from those bandages?
Pip: Do not question. It does not suit you.
Slahgrumpacious: Does not suit… okay, whatever you say, Pip.
<Pip is gone.>
SCENE 4: The shadows. Weldleiwengien lurks…
Weldleiwengien: <thinks> That whistle… Broborobobo would love that whistle, yes. Broborobobo would annoy much with that whistle. Annoy… yesssss…..
And now, Rashplataglium Spouts Off!
Rashplataglium:
Yes, I'm talking to you, guys. Never, ever, ever, attempt to put a ferret down your trousers. This is one of the last places a ferret wishes to be, and your attempt will only succeed if you are Bubugobogrimplagnythemzoegog II, who has trained his ferrets to do so with rewards of mice-in-bags, a most pleasant snack for a ferret and a most unpleasant sight for anyone else.
Understand?
<a star flies overhead, accompanied by the words, "the more you know…". >
….To be continued, if I feel like it.
