The Official CPA Notables!!

[Almindhra]

Welcome one and all to the first ever CPA Notables Gala Extravaganza Blowout...Yes, it was a wee bit rocky getting this out to the masses, but you will all now bow down to me and worship me, for it is here now for your undootably pleasure...So lets get this thing off the ground...

*Note, I put this thread in Off Topic because that’s the happening place for laughter and fun...

And on with it...

Almindhra was slightly nervous...The night was finally here, the night everyone was waiting (and whining) for...Dressed in her signature black dress, she was ready...Hair down and looking good...Silver sparkles on her eyes and deep red lipstick on her lips...Deodorant!...Shoot where is it!...Magic somehow always brings out the BO in everyone...Found it!...High, strappy, black shoes...Ok, ok, everything was ok now...Oh!...The box of prizes, can’t forget those!...Papers in hand...Everything was all good...

So the CPA had no funds and the cheapest place Ed could find was this old, XXX movie theatre that was closed by the Federal Health Dept...Oh well...I’m sure the guys won’t mind...Just hope they don’t find any sicko movies of Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird, or something like that...She arrived early...And watched the crowd moving in...What a bunch of loons...After awhile they settled in, somewhat, in a crazy manner...Flirting, pie throwing, dancing around naked (shudder), these people are crazy!...But, she had to get up there and start...

So she walked up there in front of them...And no one noticed her...”I’d to welcome-“...Still chaos!...They wouldn’t be quiet...”Um, excuse me-“...Screaming as someone sprayed whip cream down Whimsical’s dress...”Guys?”...Yelling ensued over whether to dance to Britney Spears or the Bee Gees, or listen to Duel try to play Limp Bizkit on piano...

“SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”....The whole room just stared at her...”Uh, uh..Hi”...A big grin swept across her face...”Welcome, thanks for voting and coming, and waiting for so long for my sorry a** to get his together”....Almindhra and the crowd was ready to begin...

“Lets start with an award, shall we?”...Excitement filled the air...”This here award,”...Taking out 2 large buckets of fresh SPAM...”Goes to two people who plague the boards...You see their posts, and you wonder, what are they talking about?...Does this have anything to do with the
topic?...Yes, they create the posts where, if you were a moderator, you would delete them...The posts where you, most of the time, just overlook...These people create a post, for the sake of creating a post...Yes! You’re fellow spammers of the CPA are..........”

An uneven drum roll is heard offstage from the chubby bubbly bee...

“DÛke and nodnarb24 come up here and accept your award!”...nodnarb24 leaves his Pokemon game with dw51688 and struts towards Almindhra, smiling his oh, not so debonaire smile...DÛke stumbles his way to claim his award, but trips over Mr_Pestilence and falls face first onto the floor...He looks up at his historic foe...”Grrrrrr,” Mr_Pestilence glares...Then DÛke scrambles his way up to nodnarb24 and Almindhra and hides behind her...In a flash he realizes his big mistake of getting too close to the feisty Almindhra...”Yeep!”...He exclaims...And runs some feet away...

She had to laugh...Oh how she can create fear...”Congratulations to both of you...Since you have doused us with such nasty and evil non-use of good bandwidth, I present to you these lovely awards”...Almindhra picks up a bucket over DÛke, and her helper, Foundation of Rancor, picks up the other one over nonarb24...Plop, chunk, grease, flop...The Spam just plopped down all over them...

...and you guys can take it from here...

as a side note, here is a little RL gift for you two...http://www.spam.com/assets/hp/GoodGone3_animation.gif

[Edited by Almindhra on 10-12-00 at 04:35 AM]

 

[Whimsical]

The Awards are here! And it looks like both Duke and Nodnard tied for best Spammer award... <laughs>

On a side note ... one award per day?! Ow. The suspense is going to kill moi ... in the interim though... <pulls out a mallet and starts hunting for the people who poured whipped cream down her brand-new floral print sun dress>

 

[Spiderman]

[me] laughs at Whimsy's predicament, glad that it wasn't him (either the sender or receiver), and awaits the acceptance speeches[/me]

 

[nodnarb24]

I'm am so surprized. I was sure that Duke would beat me but we tied. I would like to thank...
[me]runs off stage as he sees whimsy coming after him with the mallet.[/me]
Umm... I got to go.

 

[rkoelsch]

hoping beyond hope to hear my name. Oh well nature calls.

 

[FoundationOfRancor]

*claps loudly*

Boy, im glad I didnt get biggest spammer. I dont like being known as that.

Anywhoo, thank you for the appreance Doe

I WANT TO SEE THE OTHERS!


DAMN YOU Almindhra and your endless patience! Damn you straight to hell!!!!




[Sorry for the swearing, if any wants ill take it out-FoR]

 

[Namielus]

Duke : I would have to say that duke doesn't really spam but he seems to enjoy his "evil rantings", now all I can relate to that is disilloins of grandure (but I don't know how to spell so _____ me).

Almindhra : I would have to say beforehand that can't forget the action that pauly shore has done over the last few weeks and there importance to us all.

Nameilus : Why would I want to talk to myself? oh well there is several reasons for that the simplist being that it is easest way for you human to understand what you could really never understand. You only can obsorb what you mind can handle. And it would seem that most of you have little understanding and tend to live as if you could turn back time. And as I have proven countless times that is entirely possible (damn cambrige scientists and there 'laws'). Now to once again address the orignal topic what I'm really doing here talking to myself for. You see [think humans about here] that it is only in a mind that thinks in five dimesions that you could really 'need' the ability to say things to yourself.

Example : If I were any type of animal what animal would I be=
2d mind: bacterica
3d mind: ploycelled organism
4d mind: a multi w00t ploycelluer organism
5d mind: a 'w00t'ly l33t multi ployphasic organism with transdimsional powers

And the difference is clear.

Nodnarb24 : Just stop running that mallet will evetually get you why wait?

 

[Almindhra]

[color="660066"]Spam smells funny...Or maybe that was just DÛke... Well, anyway...Onto the next award...

“Our next award goes to-“...

“mumble, mumble...transdimensional...akjdnvv...ploycelled...asdfinadf...”...

Peering around the room, Almindhra spotted where that awful jargon was coming from...“Um, Namielus?...Are you ok?”...The poor kid was sitting in the corner...Mumbling, something...

“ploycelled...Jeopardy....Jeopardy...Got to watch Jeopardy...Gotta go to K-mart...Gotta buy shoes...Yeah, definately shoes”...

“Ah, Zadok001?...Could you help your friend a little bit?”...Whispers to Zadok001...”Here, give him this, he’ll feel a lot better”

Zadok001 approaches Namielus in the dark corner of the theatre...He watched his poor friend mumble to himself for a little bit, then gave him a dirty pair of Hetemi’s speedo like undies...Skids and all...( Hey, rkoelsch gave them to me, ask him how he got ‘em )...Namielus takes the little undies and screams for joy!...Wait, wait, why is he sniffing them?...

“Ok, now that that’s taken care of, lets get it on!”...All the guys start to have a hungry look in their eyes and start to search for the femme fatales of the room...Oh no!...A ruckus ensues!...All the girls scream as they run around the room...

“Wait!...Wait!...STTOOOPPP!!”...Silence...”Now sit back down, all of you!...Now!...For shame on you all”...Chuckle...”The next award goes to a person who has brought a special something to the CPA...No, no, more than just a mallet...Laughter...Belches...Tears...And yes, mucho dirty dancing...A light sense of joy and laughter has filled out hearts on more than just one occasion...The ‘Funniest’ award goes to.........”

Boom, boom, boom, boom, bwat!...Yellowjacket is seen side stage hitting a bass drum with his fuzzy, yeller belly...Ha ha...

“Whimsical!...Come up here and get your prize!”...While she’s sitting she makes a gesture with her hand and the crowd of men gathered around the damsel part a path for her to make her flouncy way up to the front of the room...Spiderman drops from his “looking down the dress” position on the ceiling to his puddle of saliva on the floor, panting and growling...

“Your prize dear funny one, is this!...Will my lovely assistant please come out here with the prizes?”...FoR makes yet another appearance...Doesn’t he look cute in that red, snakeskin minidress?...Presenting, in an oh-so-Vanna-Whitish way...”Silly string and itching powder!...So liven up this place Whimsy!”...[/color]

...please?

[Edited by Almindhra on 10-12-00 at 04:36 AM]

 

[Namielus]

oh my god I touched that.... eww

I will now revert back to me, that you very much for making me step back into line.

 

[Spiderman]

[me] looks flustered (though fortunately his mask hides the color of his face) at being caught, chuckles at Whimsy's recognition for her dirty dancing, and claps and cheers wildly for her award [/me]

"Go Whimsy!"

 

[rkoelsch]

Why I don't peruse the off topic board. And I am not telling how I got the skivvies so don't ask. Ask Hetemi. If he doesn't remember that is not my fault. I really need to get a life I can't believe I am replying here. Help me someone!!!!!

 

[Neo_Keo]

* Congrats Whimseee*

Go Whimseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

man this is taking forever.
man the excitement of it all.

 

[Killer Joe]

First of all, I'm trying to work on my 'drum roll', but it's hard to do when your drum head is made of old spellfire cards and the shell is made of an old rubber tire.
Now, what was Whimsy wearin'? And for goodness sakes, whatinthehell is that smell?
Congrats to the spammers, btw, have I told you all about the spam "incident"?

 

[Killer Joe]

Well, you see, I was hungry one-day and my Mom hadn't gone shopping yet, so she gets out a can of SPAM and says, "Go ahead, try it, you'll like it." And so, I did. I promtly made myself a spam and mayonaise sandwich and two hrs. later I'm praying to the porcelene god, heaving, yacking, barfing, oh, awright! I was regurgitating, ok Mr. biology!?



And so, now you know.

 

[Killer Joe]

Inbetween the next awards, can I debut my newly written masterpiece titled, "Duet for Bass Drum and 3rd. Clarinet"?
Here's a taste:
Bass Drum: Boom, boom, boooom.
3rd. Clarinet: foooo, foo, foo, faaaaaoooooo.
BD: Boom, boom.
3rd. Clar: Eeeeerrrrrrn, foo, foo.

I don't want to spoil the surprise ending of the 'Sacbutt' (btw, anyone KNOW the more common name for this instrument? Ally?)

 

[Killer Joe]

Yeah! I did it! Wha-hoo! post no.# 500! Can I use the executive bathroom now?

 

[DÛke]

**DUke walks by wearing a black, leather pants, with black, leather jacket...And, a leapord shirt under all of it, plus, leapord shoes, with GOLDen trade mark line on it's edge. Walks by, takes a seat...**



[Edited by DÛke on October 3rd, 2000 at 10:45 PM]

 

[Hawaiian mage]

Wow, I didn't see that comeing. I useually just skip the real big messages, maybe I should read those stories after all...

 

[Cateran Emperor]

[Sits in the back watching the pie fight, laughing madly] Heh, so Pie Eater's Endless Easy Bake Oven IS real...

Whimsy dear, where are you? I'd rather like to get on with the awards... Put DOWN the mallet for one second, could ya? [Casts Paralyze on Nodnarb] There, you can hit him with the mallet AFTER.

 

[Phyrexian Pie-Eater]

I agree with the general populas here Doe, this is gonna take for friggen ever. Why couldn't you do it all at once.

But hey, who am I to tell You what to do... Ohh yea, I'm the scary(no wait) guy(yea that parts right) with an oven for a hand(well not so much a hand, but an appendage). And I say PUT THEM ALL DOWN AT ONCE OR I'LL DRIVE UP THERE AND MAKE YOU!!