The (off-topic) Deadhead convention

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog was underway to the international Deadhead convention, and there, he sees pretty much everybody on CPA (dead in the head, really, not Deadheads, but close enough, I guess). Not all that many are glad to see him.

This could get really ugly really fast, especially with Oversoul around here and Ransac's ugly mug.*


*Grog waits three days for responses and then living wishes himself a few interested players who still like the outdated, yet absolutely gold-worth Battle Arena Posts.*

Monologues are no fun. I have to bash something!!!!!

*Grog decides to drink a few gallons of high-caffeine coffee to pass the time.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac notices that Grog is destroying the glasses from KJ's convention table for his cafe.*


He's gonna be pissed...


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Like I said, Not all that many would be glad to see me.*

Grog Smash!!

*Grog casts shatterstorm and destroys the lead rabbit, the mugs, the frozen coffee, and the convention table, not to mention KJ's D&D Figurine Collection.*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog looks over at ransac, sitting so peacefully, and shoves an exploding joint in his mouth-ransac's hip bone.*

 

[DarthFerret]

*DarthFerret uses the Force to hurl pieces of broken glass around Grog in a miniature tornado of death*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog plays curse of the fire penguin on DarthFerret, confusing him and then plays dust to dust, choking himself on glass dust.*

 

[Oversoul]

Ennio Morricone's "L'Arena" begins playing all over the area from no discernible source. The clouds coalesce into a rapidly spiraling vortex. The ground shakes and flames begin shooting upward, sparsely at first, and then the number and height of the flames grows until there is a wall of fire in the middle of the arena. The shaking intensifies and the wall of fire becomes a gigantic chasm. Four horrible specters emerge from the chasm on Dwarven Ponies and ride off into the distance, each in a different direction.

The music stops and a column of pure, white light rises from the depths of the chasm and strikes the vortex. The vortex becomes a portal. The edges of the portal shimmer radiantly while the inside is a gaping gateway of blackness. A voice booms from the portal, "I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!"

Oversoul appears in the center of the portal. He has a pale blue halo and smoke trailing from his fingertips. His tentacles stretch across the sky, blocking out the sun.

*Oversoul claps his hands and DarthFerret launched into the sky atop a pillar of fire.*

*Oversoul smiles and lightning bolts shoot from his eyes and electrify Ransac.*

*Oversoul reaches down with a tentacle and constricts Grog. The pressure builds up until Grog can no longer breathe.*

So, you dared to summon ME. Die!

*Then Oversoul falls into the giant chasm.*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog knocks the dust off of himself, praises the gods that the battle arena is finally back in action (he prays and hopes), and then pulls out his darksteel tenor, which decides that it doesn't like the looks of the tentacles and runs away screaming like a wussy little female tenor.*

That's.... Helpful....

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul's tentacles try to reach some purchase, but the ground doesn't have enough friction to cling to and they slowly slide back toward the chasm as Oversoul curses.*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog looks around, and plays a swamp where the chasm was.*

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac casts Sinkhole on the swamp, sucking BPC down into the chasm.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

Noooooo!
*Grog curses his metallic ancestors as he sinks quickly. He attempts to cast sanctify land on the swamp, but his hands get stuck... He desperately calls on the help of his god, Spysack...*
Hello, god, can you hear me now? Good.

 

[Ransac]

*Ransac uses Cingular/AT&T and adds insult to injury by animating an Island and Flinging it into the Sinkhole.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

 

[Oversoul]

*One of Oversoul's tentacles manages to find Ransac and pulls him into the sinkhole.*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog is about to sink into his obliteration when he realizes that he has one in his pocket...*

Obliteration!!! Oh, fudgemonkeys, not the spiked-hair punk again! Exodia, Obliteration!

*It turns out he had not put his obliteration into his pocket, but his full exodia. Oh well. Kaiba dies in the burning flames, but the magic players are painfully unharmed. Grog looks around and dials up his Acme contracter for Water Wings.*

****ing verizon connection...

 

[DarthFerret]

*DarthFerret cast Tsumani on the pillar of fire, and watches the entire island go the way of the dodo, then runs over to the nearest bush, picks a Blackberry, and dials up a bunch of Flying Monkeys who start singing old bad songs to everyone*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog clobbers DF over the head with his Darksteel tenor, who sings a song so horrible that the monkees get driven off.*

Wait a minute, how did I get out of that sinkhole?

*In a rush of logic, Grog is sucked down into the sinkhole and consumed by a tsunami-like pillar of fire.*

 

[Oversoul]

*Oversoul claws his way back to the surface, dragging a dazed and oxygen-starved Ransac up behind him.*

Aw crap, I lost my halo.

*Oversoul falls over, exhausted.*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

*Grog looks furiously at the bodies of his friends, and then decides to get his revenge on Darth Ferret.*

You kill my father... Prepare to die!

*Grog starts chucking silver-bordered, sharpened cards at ferret, and then summons an old fogey to tell him stories unto infinity.*

 

[Budget Player Cadet]

Now that just pisses me off... April fools day and nobody here????