The Elvish Ranger

[train]

A survey was conducted to discover why Magic Players get out of bed in the middle of the night...

5% said to get a glass of water
12% said to get to an online message-board
And 83% said to get another look at Elvish Ranger(Female version – we hope)!

 

[Jigglypuff]

That's me right there, the third group. In fact, I have made it my life's ambition to collect 4000 copies of the Elvish Ranger and store them all in a safe-deposit box. Only 3996 to go!


(- Steve -)

 

[BigBlue]

Perhaps you should link up with Therese and see about getting a good print of it if you're that interested. . .

That said, that ranger has a beautiful pair . . . of legs.

 

[train]

Just imagine what all the elves were doing while the ranger posed for this picture!!!

 

[Mikeymike]

She may be hot, but being a 'nature-girl' and all I bet she doesn't shave the pits.

 

[train]

Do elves have pit hair???

Is there a WOTC Design Team member here that can answer that?

 

[Jigglypuff]

So what are you saying Mikey? You wouldn't sleep with the Ranger because she doesn't shave her pits?

Oh wait, I forgot. You already have a girlfriend. Us other guys have to find it wherever we can get it.

(- Steve -)

 

[Mikeymike]

Train's right, I think we need an Elvish folklore professional to answer this potentially explosive question.

Actually I could probably handle the pit hair, as long as its not braided or looking like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

 

[BigBlue]

Now this is just a guess . . .

But, I'd have to say negative to the pit hair, and she doesn't even have to shave.

Elves can't grow facial hair, and I'd gamble that they don't have any body hair (including, ahem. . .)

 

[train]

This is one Gaea's blessing I wouldn't leave in the forest... Braided pit hair or not...

 

[Jigglypuff]

Speaking of Gaea's Blessing, my nephew completely ruined one (one of mine!!!) when he was jacking off over it.

(- Steve -)

 

[train]

Did you show him what a Runesword could do to a hand and ummmmm... a Bone Flute?!!!

 

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

LOL.
Wow.
This is one of the more interesting threads I've seen around here recently.

 

[Jigglypuff]

Hey TICM, when sex is involved, you can get some strange results.

(- Steve -)

 

[Apollo]

Yeah, that's right. We're mature, smart, witty people. But mention one hot girl and we turn into a bunch of slobbering idiots (that includes me, of course).

 

[Sammy Dead-O]

Everyone loves the Elvish Ranger...but am I the only one who's ever had a thing for the Quirion Ranger? She's so cute...

And BTW, if I'm thinking of the right picture, that one male Elvish Ranger always looked like Mario Van Peebles to me. I wouldn't be surprised if he did draw some stares from those inclined towards men...

 

[train]

SDO-

but am I the only one who's ever had a thing for the Quirion Ranger? She's so cute...

When I was a minor I may have looked at her, but since Magic Characters don't age... I'd stay away from her unless you're in NJ where the consent age is 13!!!

Don't make them send Fred McGruff out on another crimestopper case!!!

 

[Mikeymike]

This thread is killing me.

Steve, I can't believe your freaking cousin actually wacked it all over one of your cards, that's the funniest Magic thing I've ever heard - but I'd kill him for floggin near your collection.

My favorite is Shelter. Not only does the expression on her face say "Oops, I've been caught with my pants down!" but she's actually not wearing any pants.

 

[Jigglypuff]

To Sammy Dead-O: You are most definitely not the only person who ever had a thing for the Quirion Ranger.

To train: How do we know how old the Quirion Ranger is? I met a couple of cute girls at band camp (college) this summer who look about 13.

To Mikeymike: Yeah, the whole idea of it is extremely disgusting. That's why he has been banned from coming within a couple miles from my collection.

(- Steve -)

 

[train]

They look 13 huh??? - Sick 'em McGruff!!! We planted those chicks at band camp for sickos like you mister!!! You're going down...

To quote one of the generations newest coinable phrase - "This one time, at band camp..." Pie on kitchen table come to mind?

By the way, Elves generally are much older than humans - source-D&D