Take JESUS into your heart and soul!

[Preacher_Man]

Repent all ye Sinners!
Listen to my word, which is the WORD OF GOD!

Repent all ye hapless fools, tempted and tricked by the LORD OF LIES!
Listen to my word and take it into your heart, so that you may have EVER-LASTING LIFE!

You think the "GAME" you play is an innocent passtime?

Know ye this!!!

SATAN works in subtle ways. He works in mischevious ways!

With every card you hoard like a rich man hoards gold!
With every caress of the EVIL symbols that mark these WITCHES CARDS!
With every gaze you set upon the depictions of LUCIFER'S evil MINIONS!

...you are dragged one inch closer to the foul never-ending fires of HELL!

You do not believe me?
Has you mind been corupted enough already that you think this a harmless passtime?

Then consider this!

In my congregation, there once was a boy we will call "Jimmy".
He was a good boy, always attentive in Sunday(blessed be that holy day)School. He came to Worship services every week with his Father and Mother, and alway sang his best when there was a hymmn.

Then, one day, Jimmy met another boy we will call Bobby. Bobby was not a good boy, and did not go to church. Instead, he would stay at home and play a "game" called Magic: the gathering all day. (the gathering? yes, SATAN gathering his new minions!)

Bobby taught Jimmy this game and gave him a pack of cards very much like an evil TAROT deck!

Soon, Jimmy stopped going to church, and began "hanging out" with Bobby's other friends at a "game shop".

Not even Jimmy's parents could persuede him to give up this "game" and come back to the flock, even though we prayed on it again and again.

When one day I came to Jimmy's house to speak with him, he spat venom at me and hissed! Then I knew his soul was in the black claws of SATAN!

GOD allmighty himself then intervined! He rained fire upn the "game shop", cleansing the souls of Jimmy, Bobby and all the rest of SATAN's new servants.

Jimmy's parents were in grief, of coarse, but I counselled them by saying that it was GOD'S divine will, and that Jimmy's soul was now pure.

Take this sad but true story to heart!

Give up this game before it is too late!

Don't become like young Jimmy and give your soul over to LUCIFER!

Take JESUS and his divine FATHER into your hearts and souls!

 

[Almindhra]

I'm a whore...

 

[NeuroDeus]

Can I slap you until you bleed?

What sort of stupidities is your foul mouth blabbing?

I am yes a practicing Roman Catholic and I see no mortal harm in the cards as much as anything else...

Stop acting moron if your joking... I don't like people who brag all day about loving and respecting Jesus and then being complete pimps and stupid butthole businessmen who suck human's blood...

 

[DÛke]

...I'm a pimp.

One more...

...Satan is my dad.

 

[Mundungu]

I hope this is a joke, even if it is a bad one.
Grow up kids !

If that guy mean it for real, hello, welcome to the real world. I dont even know how you dont consider the Internet as being evil. Maybe you'll need a confession each time you touch a computer.

Did you know that the church tried to ban dices and regular playing cards during the 12th Century ?

Now tell me Preacher_Man, tell me that never ever in your life you have touched a dice or a playing card. If yes did you ever confess your deadly sins ?

Furthermore, what about the jewish religion, the muslims or buddhists ?

Are you going to flame them ?

No wonder the catholic church is losing its flock by the day, with such attitude catching the attention.

Go to a monastry and pray for us and for our salvation, not our destruction. Where is that compationate God that is preached in "regular" churches. I can hear only threats of Wrath.

It is people like you who brings the hatred for the different.

BE LIKE ME OR YOU DIE.

Thats your message. Not very catholic, unless you were born in the middle ages.

 

[Mr_Pestilence]

Jesus: always plays White, and gets an annoying number of "god-draws". Favorite card - Resurrection.

Satan: always plays Black-Red, and insists on playing for Ante. Favorite card - Hellfire.

Oh, Preacher_Man - get bent, you freak.

 

[Spiderman]

Mundungu: I don't think this is a joke, but we'll keep it up as long as it remains civil.

PreacherMan: That's a true story? Where and when did it happen? What game shop? Can you please provide some details that can be verified by other stories?

Why doesn't anyone mention the angels in the set?

Where exactly is Magic against the teachings of the Lord and Jesus?

Boy, talk about your controversy for the week...

 

[NeuroDeus]

I am soooo angry that this rag of a man comes here and starts preaching up like... I need to stop... I really hate it when people start trying to change your ways the WAY they see it...

If you don't like the game, so long, get away from here... and ask for your account to be deleted...

 

[Baron Sengir]

And Jesus sayeth ...

"Yea, woe befalleth to those who playeth with little cardboard squares. He who useth the little cardboard squares shall be condemned to the same level of hell reserved for he who murdereth children and fornicators of sheep..." The Book of Zealotism, 25:17.

One of the biggest problems I have with organized religion is its tendecy to make people who take it to extremes into closed-minded morons. Having religion is great, I'm a buddhist myself. Just don't instantly assume that something you don't like or understand is evil.

Ya freakin' idiot.

I remain
The Baron
"And I shall strike down upon thee with great vengence and furious anger, those who attempt to tap or destroy my mana ..."

 

[Gizmo]

So why hasn`t this thread been deleted already?

 

[ErinPuff]

*sigh*

If it's a joke, it's not funny. If it's not, it's not only not funny, but it's cruel. I've heard from many people at many places that for whatever reason, I or the people I love are going to hell, that we're evil, that we must be Satan-worshippers because of little things we do that aren't explicitly Christian.. I'm tired of it. Magic is just a game.. I've been playing for six years, and it hasn't corrupted me yet.. I haven't offered my brother as a sacrifice to Satan, I haven't tried to Lightning Bolt my parents, I haven't attempted a real Dark Ritual.. I go to church every Sunday of my own free will.. I don't believe that I'm going to hell.

 

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

I think this is someone we already know who signed up as someone else. Ed, can you tell us this person's E-mail address?

If that makes me an instrument of the Devil, so be it.

 

[Daggertooth]

It intrigues me to meet people who take their beliefs to such an extreme. How your condemned to hell for not believing in their translation of the bible.

I do have some friends that believe that the game is evil. (One won't touch black cards )

It is their point of view, and should be respected. Even if it includes all us card users being condemned to hell. But then every person on this earth is viewed as condemned to hell by someone else.

Funny how those things work out.

What was that quote? "Judge not least yea be judged." Something like that.

I don't think he's coming back. Just a one time post. Unless he's dedicated for out "salvation."

Daggertooth

 

[Spiderman]

Gizmo: This thread hasn't been deleted yet because it MIGHT be serious and just because we don't like the subject shouldn't mean we should censor it. As long as it remains reasonably civil, I think it ought to stay up.

 

[Preacher_Man]

Yes, it is a joke.

You'll find that the e-mail listed is freakzilla@scopenet.com, a e-mail commonly used on the show News Radio.

No one get all het up over this, it's all OK little ones.

Delete the account, I don't care.

This was going to be a series of strage Fire and Brimstone posts, but after several very negative reactions, I think I'll pass.

And don't worry, little Jimmy is just fine.

After that story, I'm amazed anyone thought this might be for real.

Goodbye, until the next joke that only I think is funny. I guess it's easier to make fun of religion when you don't have any.

Buh-bye...

 

[Daggertooth]

What does spitting on a carpenter have to do with anything? (in your poll, which is considerably biased *obviously*)

 

[Almindhra]

Yeah, I knew it was a joke...Thats why I sent you, little Preacher Boy, all those dirty PMs...heheh......

 

[Preacher_Man]

Once again, the poll was part of the joke.

Notice how no matter how you answer, Preacher_Man is right?

And I'm certainly not going to tell anyone who I am.

Delete Delete Delete!

And the PM's were fun! See, she got it. Or, at least, she understood it was all in good (though tasteless) fun.

 

[Daggertooth]

I guess it's easier to make fun of religion when you don't have any.

And I wondered before why Atheists had a bad connotation to it. You're really messing with other peoples beliefs there. Some take the threat of going to hell really seriously and are deeply offended by that kind of accusation.

 

[Preacher_Man]

I said that I have no religion.

That does not mean that I am an aethiest, which I am not.