humor o' the day

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
from www.darwinawards.com

2000 Darwin Awards Nominees

"A woman chasing a rat with a lit roll of paper set her bed ablaze and narrowly escaped from a smoke-filled apartment with her life at the Royal Beechnut Apartments in Houston." ABC13 and KTRK Houston Texas

"People injured or killed in the Michigan firearms deer season include a Bay City man shot in the leg while trying to photograph his dog holding a rifle, which accidentally went off." 28 November 2000 Michigan Live

"Something strange is happening to Malaysia executioners manning the gallows. Three people in the last two years have accidentally hanged themselves while clowning around. The most recent mishap occurred when the executioner prepared for an upcoming sentence and slipped the noose around his neck. Apparently he wanted pictures taken of himself standing on the gallows when the trap door gave way, breaking his neck instantly. " 29 November 2000 Bizarre News, Kuala Lumpur Malaysia

"A 27-year-old policeman fell to his death when he accidentally piloted a powerful speedboat over 165-foot high Loskop Dam near Johannesburg." Reuters South Africa

"Two soldiers died in their tent when fumes from an illegal propane heater snuffed their lives in Barstow, California. Officials said they were on an Army training exercise in the Mojave Desert when they broke new ground in abuse of gas-powered equipment." 15 January 2001 TAP

"An off-duty Los Angeles police officer accidentally shot himself while cleaning his gun, and was treated for a groin injury at a nearby hospital." 14 January 2001 Sacramento Bee
 
B

Baskil

Guest
Fatal Footsie

"(22 March 1999, Phnom Penh) Decades of armed strife has littered Cambodia with unexploded munitions and ordnance. Authorities warn citizens not to tamper with the devices.
Three friends recently spent an evening sharing drinks and exchanging insults at a local cafe in the southeastern province of Svay Rieng. Their companionable arguing continued for hours, until one man pulled out a 25-year-old unexploded anti-tank mine found in his backyard.

He tossed it under the table, and the three men began playing Russian roulette, each tossing down a drink and then stamping on the mine. The other villagers fled in terror.

Minutes later, the explosive detonated with a tremendous boom, killing the three men in the bar. "Their wives could not even find their flesh because the blast destroyed everything," the Rasmei Kampuchea newspaper reported."


And, if they made it a shirt, I would buy it in a minute:

Macho Men:
"(1996) Some men will got to extraordinary lengths to prove how macho they are. Frenchman Pierre Pumpille recently shunted a stationary car two feet by headbutting it. "Women thought I was a god," he explained from his hospital bed.
Deity or not, however, Pumpille is a veritable girl's blouse compared to Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man by cutting off his own head in 1995. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some "men's games". Initially they hit each other over the head with frozen turnips, but then one man upped the ante by seizing a chainsaw and cutting off the end of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw and, shouting "Watch this then," je swung at his own head and chopped it off.

"It's funny," said one companion, "when he was young he put on his sister's underwear. But he died like a man." "
 
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