Free-for-all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R

Ransac

CPA Trash Man
Okay, since no one is responding to my CPW things anymore(and since no one has replied in this forum for almost two weeks), I feel I should do something.


A good-old-fashioned, crazy-way, off-topic, Ransac-style FREE-FOR-ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

*Ransac snaps his fingers and the walnuts rise.*


I challenge anyone and everyone to come in here and beat the living hell out of anyone who enters. AND, to show what a good sport I am(and, seeing as how I'll be the first target anyway, seeing as how I'm the first one here), I'll let you guys beat on me first.

*Ransac covers his eyes with a squirrel's tail and awaits company.*


Ransac, cpa trash man

P.S. If anybody still wishes to participate in CPW, PLEASE RESPOND to my Overhaul thread(I'm really reaching here).
 
G

Gerode

Guest
*Gerode eats a rising walnut, then puts a forcefield around Ransac so he doesn't get hurt. Unfortunately, the forcefield is radioactive and walnuts start growing from his snapping fingers.
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
Oh no! With walnuts on his snapping fingers, how can Ransac survive?

<MrXarvox enters and drops the Loony Bin, which then dispenses a battalion of armed-and-dangerous Wundindlinygs, as well as a guy who thinks he's Napoleon Bonaparte to lead them. After all, what loony bin is complete without a Napoleon?>

MrXarvox: Charge!

<The Wundindlinygs begin to charge off in all different directions screaming battle cries such as "It's a scam, a sham, a flim-flam" and "I want those walnuts!" while Napoleon bangs his head against the wall.>
 
S

Svenmonkey

Guest
*Svenmonkey, for no reason, announces "Justice will prevail!" and puts MrXarvox in the wiggle basket.*

"That'll teach you, scum. But I must finish the job with style..."

*Svenmonkey walks over to the writhing, quadriplegic near-corpse of MrXarvox and puts a stupid baseball cap on his silly little head.*
 
Z

Zero T Katama

Guest
*with a fanfare of trumpets, Zero T. comes striding into the arena, his sword Rnn floating after him*

I.... HAVE.... RETURNED!

*Zero greets his loyal fans, then surveys the arena.*

Looks like we're needed, Rnn.

*Zero runs, at Sven Monkey, smacking him with a jump kick, as Rnn goes to work smackign the spoony out of Loony Napoleon.
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
MrXarvox is glad that the thing that Svenmonkey put in the Wiggle Basket (tm) was actually just a scarecrow.

MrXarvox then proceeds to pants everyone in the arena, while Napoleon chews on the sword that's hitting him.

Napoleon: MMmmm. TASTeeee

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Z

Zero T Katama

Guest
*EEEEKS, slapping Xarvy across the face for his audacity, slapping him again across the room as he pulls his pants back up*

What indecency!

*Rnn in the meanwhile, gets annoyed by Crazy Napoleon, winding up for a mighty smack. An announcer is heard from nowhere*

Announcer: And it looks like the bastard sword is ready to put Napoleon in his place... He's getting in place... and there's the swing!

*Rnn swings mightily, sendign Napoleon flying*

Napoleon: EEEEEEE!!!!

Announcer: And it looks like Napoleon is outta here... He's going... Going.... GONE! Right outta the area, folks!

*Napoleon dissapears off in the distance with a sparkle of light, and Rnn does his little sword dance of triumph as "SCORE +1" appears in Blue Block letters in front of him. He then sets to smackign the rest of the Wundindinglys right and left*
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
Siezuriesizesosize gives Zero and his sword siezures, then Cricziricziric paints the sword pink while it is convulsing, then ties a rope to the cieling with a trash can lid on the end so that when Zero gets up he will knock his head into it and make a "clang" sound.

MrXarvox bounces off of the wall which suddenly appeared for convenience and collides in midair with Napoleon, causing an explosion. A piece of shrapnel from the explosion (where did the metal come from? I dunno) hits Zero in the face. Zero wakes up and >clang< he hits his head on the trash can lid!

MrXarvox and the Wundindlinygs all crack up, rolling on the floor having fits of laughter while Zero rubs his forehead and Napoleon pretends he's riding a horse.
 
P

Prince RXI

Guest
*Suddenly the arena gets a silvery glow and everyone stops what they are doing. When the light changes to normal, RXI stands in the middle of the ring, Neu-Blade in hand, pike in tow, and armor gleeming.*

"Lets do this for real."

*RXI cuts the looney-bin Wundindlinygs to ribbons, staples Mr.Xarvox to the entrance ramp, and puts stamps all over svenmonkey and mails him to Europe. Then puts ZTK over his knee and gives him a really DANG hard, smack yo mama, spankin'. Then throws him in a pile with the others waste and refuse.*





Prince RXI, "Now that's an Arse whoopin'!!!"
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
Unfortunately, in all RXI's arse-whuppin' confusion, he mistook himself for the Wundindlinygs, MrXarvox, Svenmonkey, and Zero, and has therefore cut himself to ribbons, stapled himself to the entrance ramp, mailed himself to Europe (with a tag that just said "Europe" on it. I mean, does he really expect the postal service to actually take him anywhere with no more specific destination than a continent?), put himself over his knee and spanked himself really DANG hard (oh my my my... the implications!!) and thrown himself into a pile of refuse while everyone else simply continued with their melee.

:D
 
P

Prince RXI

Guest
*Suddenly the walls of reality come crashing back in on Mr.Xarvox and what Xary thought he was seeing was washed from his mind. Xarvy, stapled to the entrance ramp, just got his balls shot off by a squirrel with a toothpick. Mr.Xarvox breaks down and cries as 27.4 men from the house of the rooms with the padded walls come, unstaple him, strape him in a white jacket from the house of the rooms with the padded walls, and take him out of the arena, never to be seen again ***at least as long as this match is on anyway*** Meanwhile, the postman walks up holding a clip board. RXI signs for what ever it is and opens the box. Out pops Svenmonkey who punches RXI in the balls. RXI falls down screaming REBOX for some wierd reason*





Prince RXI, cries louder... and screams again
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
<Prince RXI has a testicle fixation, it seems. look at all the references of things being done to balls. my, my, my, someone's got a fetish!> :D

In a flash of darkness MrXarvox is back again, because after all this time, RXI should know that Mr. X does not believe in reality.

"I must say, that was an interesting adventure. for seven years afterwards I sought this battleground, to finish what had been started so many years ago."

A hundred sharp animals such as cats and ferrets pour from a hole in the sky and land on RXI, Zero, and Sven with claws and teeth working furiously to rend flesh.

"It is by the juice of sapho that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning"

MrXarvox does a somersault and Prince RXI falls to the ground screaming in eight separate voices as each of these voices and the piece of the mind representing them experiences a level of terror and agony akin to that of their own special circles of the medieval Christian Hell.
MrXarvox does a pirouette and Zero T Katama is placed in reverse gravity and falls up, wailing as he is flung from the atmosphere.
MrXarvox then applauds himself for his performance as Svenmonkey's destiny is changed to <gasp!> make him a future accountant!

X then settles down for a nice chat with the wall-man as the engines heat up for the impending battle of mad wit.

"better bring the spackle!"
 

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S

Svenmonkey

Guest
An accountant? C'mon dude, you know my lifelong dream is to become an accountant. :rolleyes:

*Sven takes his Juicemaster and juices some of Xarvox's sharp animals*

"Mmm! That thar's some good juice!"
 

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P

Prince RXI

Guest
*A portal opens and spits out 8 RXIs.*

*All 8 speaking at once* "That was fun... now WE are the rulers of Hell! Had WE a nickle for each time WE have said that 'If We go to hell, We would take over' WE would be richer than Bill Gates!"

*RXI 1 sneezes and all of the remaining pets of Mr.Xarvox shrink.*
*RXI 2 jumps up and shouts yippy and Mr.Xarvox loses his nasal hairs.*
*RXI 3 spins around shouting "Baby won't you come out to night" and SvenMonkey's JuiceMaster comes to life and starts to smack Svenmonkey around like a red headed step-child.*
*RXI 4 goes clunk as he twirls and SvenMonkey becomes a nun.*
*RXI 5 goes Pop as he stops and ZTK stands up clean as a whistle*
*RXI 6 goes Whirl when he stands still and ZTK's sword gets back up.*
*RXI 7 launches the flipple and Ransac turns into a miniture squirrel.*
*RXI 8 frats to the tune of "Amazing Grace" and... pencils fall down and smack everyone with their erasers... then get up and walk away to the nearest bar for a flaming flopilhopin.*





Prince RXIs, "Oh my little tin toy goes clunk as he whirls and pop when he stop and Whirrl when he stands still"! 'It's an old song'
 
M

MrXarvox

Guest
heh, you can't escape that easily, ransac!

<Ransac is tied up in imaginary Mothers Against Drunk Driving ribbons>

and YOU, RXI, copying off my style of doing things to make unrelated events happen,

<MrXarvox eats an hors d'eovre and his nasal hairs grow back, multiply, and become Hair Golems resembling Cousin It, then detach and start chasing RXI around in circles. MrXarvox then proceeds to donate a thousand dollars (Canadian) to Unicef, and RXI trips on a rogue penguin, which scoffs as he falls over it.
X then wipes his mouth with a napkin and all eight RXIs start up a hootenanny, a hoedown, a line dance, and a square dance all at the same time>

<Meanwhile, ZTK and Sven are having a contest to see who can eat the most burritos. Unfortunately, as that kind of contest always goes, EVERYBODY loses>
 

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P

Prince RXI

Guest
*RXI, fed up with there being too many penguins around lately, goes and complains to the highest athority. After months of protests and debates, a new law is passed so that every orphan piece of cheese must be shot at sun rise. In the mean time, RXI fight on in this match.*

***Mr.Xarvox, this is not copying you. I did this sort of thing from the beginning of my days on the internet. That was about 8 years ago when I first joined the Rio Grande Free Net and played on the MUD "Lost Rivers" so I am not copying anyone, just my younger selves (Balder of the VAMP clan and Sabin of the FIRE clan).***

*RXI pulls out 2 Sprite Big Slams (name of my 2 duel wielded weapons with Balder. Bottles they are.) and starts to smash Xarvy with them. Critical, maul, -OPEN-A-CAN-O-WHOOP-@$$-, Maim (Damage amounts in "Lost Rivers"). RXI then calls on both the VAMP and the FIRE clans... but they don't show up... and then RXI remembers that he hasn't been on "Lost Rivers" in 6 years :(*





Prince RXI, misses Lost Rivers
 
T

train

Guest
Part of this sounds like an office depot commercial...

Is office depot supplying the weaponry?
 
S

Svenmonkey

Guest
Office Depot did supply the stationary, desks, and chairs, but not the weaponry. We usually get the weapons from Staples, for they have cheaper prices.
 
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