Destroy target player

[MrXarvox]

Pains of Mortality BBB
Sorcery
Play only if your graveyard contains 5 or less cards.
Destroy target player if their graveyard contains 20 cards or more.


Pains of Ignorance UUU
Sorcery
Play only if your hand contains more than 4 cards.
Destroy target player if they have no cards in hand.


Pains of Artificiality GGG
Sorcery
Play only if you control 2 or more basic lands.
Destroy target player if they control no basic lands.


Pains of Disbelief WWW
Sorcery
Play only if your life total is 20 or more.
Destroy target player if their life total is 6 or less.


Pains of Liability RRR
Sorcery
Play only if you control no creatures.
Destroy target player if their life total is less than the total number of creatures they control.




Basically, if you are better than your opponent to a certain degree (and from your color's point of view), you get to kill them right out. Evil, eh?

 

[Cateran Emperor]

First off, destroy target player sounds wrong. Change it to target player loses the game or some such thing. Ignorance and Artificiality are both impossibly overpowered.

 

[Spiderman]

CE: The point (I think) of the cards was to make it so you can KILL the opposing player.

 

[Griffion2000]

kill kill Kill Kill KIll KIll KILl KILl KILL KILL

Vampiric Bite
2BB
Sorcery
Suck X tablespoons of target players' blood, gain X life

Paper Cuts
4
Artifact Creature
Whenever Paper Cuts deals combat damage to defending player, cut target player with target paper

EVIL!!!!!!!

 

[nodnarb24]

paper cuts needs P/T. How about a 2/3

 

[K9Archmage]

happy hamster 7
artifact creature

tap: if you have a happy hamster, then throw it onto target player. that player loses the game if the hamster is no longer happy.

3/3

Hoipa

 

[MrXarvox]

Ascension 6GGWWRR
Sorcery
When cast, shock all opponents to death with a tazer, pour rainwater on them, and toss them off of a cliff. You win the game and gain flying.
"Just you wait... Just you friggin' wait!"

 

[Ransac]

How about...


Turtle Water
WWUUBBRRGG
Sorcery
You win the game, period. That's it. Pack your bags and kick target player in the nuts.



Ransac, CPA garbage man

 

[ErinPuff]

..what if target player doesn't *have* nuts?

 

[Ransac]

Sorry. forgot that women now play this game, instead of the normal room full of loser guys.


Errata: If target player has no "nuts", a kick in the rear is sufficient.



Ransac, the non-sexist pig

 

[Griffion2000]

Ok, paper cuts is now a 2/3...

Bad Breath
BB
Enchantment
B, T: Breeth in target players face, if that player can't stand it, he/she takes 3 damage

Ass Breath
1BB
Enchantment
1B, T: Fart in target players face, if that player can't stand it, he/she takes 6 damage

Underarm
UUB
Instant
Counter target spell. Rub your underarm in target players face, that player takes 5 damage

I'm sorry if these may be rude, but my little brother is around, and......