CPW Tournament Round 2: Volrath's_Bane vs. Azreal the Soulmaster

V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**A shadow falls over the arena as a great blue drake circles it. From it's back drops Bane, dressed in the Quicksilver Armor, weilding the Bed Pan of Fate and the Warhammer Valhalla**

Let's get it on!
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
*Volraths_Bane is standing around when BAM! something collides into his chest and knocks him over

*VB looks around confused

"HEY! down here"

*VB looks down to see frog Azreal

"weren't counting on super frog speed now were you?"
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Actually I was

**VB reaches intp his pack and pulls out five 4 ft long shiny red-brown snakes**

These are Xenopletis unicolor aka Sunbeam snakes. They are hungry burrowing snakes from China that eat frogs! thanks you Ask Jeeves!!

**VB tosses all the hungry snakes at Frog Daggertooth**
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
Well so much for Frog Daggertooth

*Azreal grows 10 feet in height and knocks VB into the arena wall with his massive tongue
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
ARGHHH!!! Thump!

**Vb goes flying into the wall but manages to get a hold of Azreal's massive tongue. When VB slides down the wall to the ground, he kicks to his ffet and bolts around Azreal tieing his feet together with his own tongue.**

Booya

**VB jumps up and drop kicks Azreal in the back of the head**
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
*Azreal begins to glow a bright purple colour

"what the..!?!"-VB

*hordes of eggplant men rush into the arena and begin pummeling VB with blocks of cheese

*Azreal hops up into the air and lands full force on VB's head
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**After such a brutal hit, a fading VB reaches out into the air and gasps out the words**

I am the GOD OF FROSTING!!!!

**Immediately hundred of cinnomon bun minions flood the arena and fight of the eggplant men. As they rush Azreal a few sacrifice themselves by feeding themselves to VB, who gradually gains back his strength and gets to his feet**

EAT STICKY SWEET DEATH!!!!

**VB charges a bun covered Azreal and pounds him in the head with Valhalla**
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
*Azreal kicks VB off

hmmph....haha i know!

*Azreal pulls out a deadly new weapon(since he is to small to wield the sword of the damned)....

I HAVE.....the SPORK O' DOOM

*thrusts spork at VB

c'mon i'll spork your oink

*proceeds to spork VB's oink
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Hey...that feels like acupucture!! :D :D :D

VB pulls out a spork of his own and sporks his own oink...that cleared my sinuses :)

Oh well...back the the story...and keeping the trand of Simpsons based violence

**VB pulls out a can of soda and opens it. He then takes out a large bag of pop rocks and shoves it over the can. He shakes it, shoves it down Azreal's pants, and then dives away in slow motion as it detonates**

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
I've never felt so refreshed............man thats scary

*whips out a mallet and pounds VB while the Battle Pope comes in and Kicks VB
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Ow Ow Ow Ow OW!!

Cant....hit...Pope...must have...better idea...hate to do this but

AZREAL IS PRO CHOISE!!!

(I hope that wasn't in too bad taste**

**The Battle Pope turns around and starts wailing on Azreal**

You have your mallet **Pulls out the large red mana Battle Hammer Valhalla**

I HAVE MINE!!!

**VB wails on Azreal with Valhalla**
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
AAAAAAAHHHH!

*Azreal discards his mallet and takes out the fish o' massive head injury, and smacks VB into the floor

ow ow.........hey Pope...VB thinks your hat looks stupid!

*the Battle Pople begins to pummel VB further into the ground.
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Ow Ow Ow....How come you never seem phased by my attacks? OW Ow Ow Ow OW Ow

That is it!!!!

**VB gets to his feet and knocks the Pope flying into the stands where he is knocked unconsious**

INFALLIBLE MY [OINK!!!

**VB then turns to Azreal who is hitting him with the fish. VB uses Valhallas red mana power to incinerate the fish, then concentrates all the power of the Bed Pan of Fate into a massive explosive white energy ball and blasts Azreal in the gut with it point blank**

BooyaH!!
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
"Its because of my Froggie durability.........if that makes any sense"

*Azreal gets up very slowly, as his kidneys are imbedded in the ceiling and Ransac's head, he turns to see what VB has done to his friend the Battle Pope

"NOOOOOOO!!!!"

*Azreal summons all the souls of the damned into his frog form, and sends them full force at VB who is bashed through the arena wall, into the parking lot..........

"........MY CAR!!!! oh you son of a..."
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
Thank god you have airbags...if only they were on the outside..OWWW!!!!!

**VB uses the white mana power of the Bed Pan of Fate to ward of the souls of the damned, takes Valhalla and begins to crush the car with it**

YOUR CAR HUH?!?!?!

A voice from behind VB: No..that is my car

**VB turns around to see a large angry man staring at him.**

Errr...the Battle Pope did it

**The man rushes off and starts beating o n the unconsious Battle Pope**

Thank god the spectators here are idiots

**Vb sees Azreal charging into the parking lot after hom. VB runs toward Azreal simultaneously and as they are about to meet VB slides between Azreal's legs, takes his lead rabbit, and rams it up Azreal's rectum**

Lets see how watertight it really is!!!
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
"there is no limit to how strange that last line really is..."

"Rabbit chewing on....intestines.....must....beat VB....must"

*Azreal reaches up his own rectum, grabs the Rabbit by legs and pulls it out and smacks VB with it.

"MUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAAAAAAAA"

*Azreal straps on steel toed frog boots and begins to hop up and down on VB's testicles

alright you have to be in some pain now

*Azreal goes for the Pin

"1,2..."
 
V

Volraths_bane

Guest
**Azreal is greeted with a war hammer to the face**

Fool!! If you did your studying of my past battles you would know I keep a spare set of fake genitalia in my pants at all times!! The real set are safe and sound in a cod peice!! How about you?

**VB uses the red mana power of Valhalla to send a large blast of blazing red energy at Azreal's groin**
 
A

Azreal the Soulmaster

Guest
FOOL!!! i not only have a cod piece, but a mirrored one

*the mirrored cod piece reflects the blast of red mana back at VB
 
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