A Silent Thunder

Discussion in 'General CPA Stuff' started by Zadok001, Nov 9, 2002.

  1. Zadok001 CPA Founder, Greater Good

    January, 2002. Torment is released. The prerelease held in Seattle, Washington has a banner on the wall with a six-foot picture of Sengir Vampire and the short slogan "Deal With It." It doesn't take long for me to conclude that it's the best marketing slogan for a Magic set of all time.

    It's a two-day Prerelease. I'm judging both days, and by Sunday evening, I'm exhausted, overwhelmed, and practically bleeding rules questions about Madness. I'm as happy as I can be when I return home Sunday evening - I've just gotten to judge a two-day tournament, and I had a blast.

    So I lie down, staring blanking at my Memento poster on the wall, and I cry.

    Because I can't play Magic. The nearest store is almost 4 miles out of town, and their tournaments are (sadly) tiny and uncompetative. I sigh, and I sleep.

    I stop posting on the CPA, and convince myself it's over. I always promised myself that I wouldn't stop playing Magic until I had no one left to play with. It took me until January last year to realize that time had come - I was out of opponents. The FNM I could attend each week had a maximum participation of eight players - I was used to thirty. Eight people just wasn't hard, and I figured out within two weeks that I could win those tourneys without batting an eye.

    I judged when I could, but PTQs and Prereleases were spread far apart, and it wasn't enough.

    I stopped playing Magic.

    I stopped posting for one reason, and one reason only: I wasn't playing Magic. I know others have overcome that sort of thing, but I couldn't. I knew I couldn't keep posting here unless I was playing. So instead of the sobbing "Goodbyes!" I see online, which always tear my heart out, I slid into the darkness quietly, hoping no one would notice.

    (That didn't work.)

    A few people contacted me outside of the CPA to try to get me to come back. Duel, IRL a good friend of mine, DUke, and Ransac all tried to contact me at one time or another. A few days ago, I recieved an email informing me I was the new CPA Legend. So clearly running away didn't have quite the effect I wanted. But I stayed away.

    I didn't want to commit myself to the mode of the occassional poster. It's not my way. When I'm posting, I'm posting constantly - And if I wasn't going to posting constantly, then I wasn't going to be posting.

    Late Spring, 2002. Judgement is released. I pull a last hurrah and buy and box. It's a neat set, and now a store has opened closer to me. But I still can't play, not really - FNM is rarely constructed, and it's constructed play I love. :)

    So my tenure at the University of Washington comes crashing to an end. I return home for the summer. I decide it's time to play again, and I show up for the very first FNM of the summer.

    Then Bad Things happen. I won't get into them, but suffice to say I no longer had the time available to play, even just once a week.

    I've never been so sad in my life.

    The Summer comes to a lonely end, and I fly away to Maryland to go to school so I can be near my wonderful girlfriend. I leave my Magic cards behind. I find my new environment to lack competition, however, and competition is something I _NEED_ to survive. Doesn't have to be serious competition, but I need SOMETHING. So I start searching, and I find a local shop. Neat. I get a few decks mailed to me from my kind parents, and I build an absolutely awful mono-U Type 2 deck (Pre-Onslaught rotation). I lose horribly. *sigh* That's ok, I got to compete.

    And my need to play is growing. The FNM are a bit pathetic, usually around 20 people, but they're better than what I had at home. It's enough to keep me going, but not enough to keep me happy.

    Eventually, in boredom, I look over the Onslaught spoiler. Nantuko Husk catches my eye. (It's a reprint of a card I'm a great fan of, Phyrexian Ghoul.) NOW I'm intrigued.

    But I'm still not certain. I start posting on MtGNews again, curious. Is the Magic community still alive? *checks pulse* Well, it's there, I suppose. I figure MtGNews is a fairly anonomyous place. I don't expect to be recognized, and I'm not. I don't post a big coming back post, or anything like that.

    Because I'm not sure I'm coming back. All I know is I want desperately to play Magic, like I always have. So I don't return here. (Well, I do, but I log out and just read. And not very often.)

    I decided on a test. I know I'm a different person now, and I'm not as casual as I used to be. Honestly, I need the competition, and I've been known to netdeck. Astral Slide is in my backpack right now, actually. :) I'm not sure I belong here, so I decide to test myself.

    I know Carpe Noctem, one of my old favorites, is now highly competitive in Extended. When PT Houston starts, I'll know whether it saw play. If it did, I'll have helped invent a major contending deck. Sounds good, huh?

    That was my test. I wanted to see how I responded, emotionally, to whether Carpe Noctem saw play. It didn't, or at least not much. And I felt... Oddly uncaring. Oh, well, they didn't figure it out yet. Stupid Pros. Guess I'm the one who knows the secret, still.

    If I'd been severely disapointed, I probably wouldn't be here right now. As much as I love this place, and the people in it, I wouldn't be able to be here if I knew I didn't belong. But I think I do.

    And I desperately missed this place. :) Desperately. This has always been my favorite Magic site, since the day of its conception in glowing orange and black. And it will remain my favorite for a long time to come.

    And now that I've told you a twenty page story, I'm not quite done. I have a few more things to say.

    First of all, I wish I'd never left. The CPA is a part of me, and as much as I felt I needed to pull away, I lost more in leaving than the CPA lost in losing me.

    I'd like to apologize. I wish I'd found a better way to handle what happened, but I didn't. Now I'm here again, and I don't want to leave. I hope, full-heartedly, you will accept my apologies, and give me a second chance. (I hope also someone will be kind enough to either PM me or post something on what I've missed. :) )

    And now, I think I'll go respond to some threads.

    Forgive me, my friends.
  2. Thallid Ice Cream Man 21sT CeNTuRy sChIZoId MaN

    I definitely forgive you. Sometimes I'm temporarily surprised why I'm still here, but then I remember it's not just about actually playing the game.

    So I take it you're back more permanently then.

    Here are some items:

    DÛke (who's getting weirder by the day) and Arhar seem to have left. Arhar's space (at least in terms of his political views, and soon post count! :p) has been filled by train, one of the most immediately vocal new members since about Ransac.
    I don't remember exactly how long it's been since you left, so I don't know what else has gone one since.
    But we're glad you're back.

    Edit: Never mind. :p
  3. Ransac CPA Trash Man

    *I see he got my e-mail! :))

    His last post before his return was in late february.

    I don't remember what was going on since then as well.

    Ransac, cpa trash man
  4. Thallid Ice Cream Man 21sT CeNTuRy sChIZoId MaN

    (Congratulations, Ransac! :))
  5. Azreal the Soulmaster Sorrow's Rhapsody

    *Rejoices in the return of Zadok

    it wasn't the same without you. Nobody will hold a grudge, we all need breaks, and hey, stuff happens.
  6. Zadok001 CPA Founder, Greater Good

    :) Huzzah! You still like me!
  7. Apollo Bird Boy

    *Apollo wipes a tear from his eye, poking himself with his talon in the process. Then he flies over and lands on Zadok's shoulder, enveloping him with his wings in a big hug.*

    Don't you ever do that to me again, young man! :p
  8. Mazzak Stylemongering Protodeity

    Mazzak (the recent reincarnation of MrXarvox) sends up flares of brilliant shadow to the sky, notifying all CPA members: "A Legend has returned!"

    Welcome back, we missed you, man...
  9. theorgg Slob

    *theorgg runs and grabs Zadoc in a HUGE 4-armed hug and says "We've all missed ya! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US?"

    Hell, even I'm having to slack off of Magic. I havn't played in over a month... but I still come here, and keep up with it. MAN we've missed you!

    We got Ferret back, and now we have Zadoc back.

    Hell, if we get Ed started back, it'll be just like old times!

    *theorgg notices he's hugging another guy and screaming in his ear; he releses the hug and takes a generous step back.

    Let's pretend that didn't happen, alright? But I still stand by what I said.
  10. Zadok001 CPA Founder, Greater Good

  11. theorgg Slob

    So, you've found Wakefield, and come back stronger.

    Now all you have to do is get hired by WOTC...
  12. Ferret CPA Founder, Slacker

    Wow! I'm in shock! He's back...hope we get to keep you around for a while this time....


    "...now, if we could just find The Baron, Dune Echo........"
  13. theorgg Slob

    Dune's around. He doesn't post much, but he's around.

    We've not heard from The Baron for about two years or so, and Child of Gaea about one and a half...

    :[ (
  14. Azreal the Soulmaster Sorrow's Rhapsody

    Wasn't the Baron posting for a brief period not too long ago? but sadly it ended as quickly as it came.
  15. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Zadok - Hi, my name is train, I'm a Coat addict(you'll understand later) and strongly infatuated with the female version of the Elvish Ranger...


    I'm reallly in the same boat where I live... Shortly after I moved here 1 of the 2 Magic shops closed... the other shop holds no sanctioned tournaments unless WOTC makes them(by that I mean they held a pre-release, it wasn't sanctioned until the eigth player showed up, then they sanctioned it, and there were only nine total - for a pre-release!!!)

    I came from Lubbock, and always being in close vicinity to The Mad Hatter and his game shop, spoiled me... I was desperate for sanctioned play... We soon began(family and I) driving 90 miles every week for FNM... It was worth it though... So now, that I have become more known locally, and I'm trying to get some sanctioned play going, I still drive 90 miles every other week... to actually compete... hopefully I won't be driving so much soon...

    So I understand... I'll say that in my search for a Magic community of any kind - I found the CPA after 3 months... And now they can't get rid of me...

    For everything mentioned about you, and all I've heard...

    Welcome back... to the greatest Online Magic Cmmunity!!!:)
  16. Almindhra Magic's Bitch

    Zadok......Why didn't you just stay away?.........

    j/k!....Jesus, I'm not that mean....Welcome back....I have rid the site of Duke and soon I will boot Train out if he doesn't stop with the coat stuff soon.............

  17. TomB Administrative Assistant

  18. Chaos Turtle Demiurgic CPA Member, Admin Assistant

    Good to see you again!

    I'm in a similar situation. I still play Magic when I get the chance, but the competition is limited to about a half-dozen of us dominating the rest, and only a couple of us (experienced players) on average show up at any given tournament.

    Still plugging away, though...

    I've been very interested in seeing your thoughts on the development of Carpe Noctem in the new extended metagame.
  19. train The Wildcard!!!...

    Mindy's just sore because she can't believe she actually hit on me...:eek: ;)
  20. rkoelsch Angel Boy

    Does this mean he has to give the award back? Or is he allowed to be an active member and a legend at the same time? Welcome back. Sorry, things are not working out the best Magicwise but you have a girlfriend which can make up for a lot.

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