a great idea! by yours truly

[MrXarvox]

warning- this idea may prove offensive to papists!


RAID THE VATICAN! A new rpg in which players atempt to steal ancient scrolls and other treasures from the heavily guarded dungeons of the Vatican itself! Along the way, you wil encounter various enemies, including all twelve fighting zombie apostles (each with special abilities!) and the ultimate boss, Laser-Wielding Mummy Jesus! You will also have to outwit wily kung-fu jesuits and keep quiet so as not to wake the pope during his naptime. Are you stealthy enough to nick the legendary "Bible: Director's Cut with Alternate Ending"? Are you keen enough to actually understand anything that the pope is mumbling?
Your skills will be tested when you try to...

 

[Spiderman]

That's actually not bad... probably no worse than Grand Auto Theft...

 

[theorgg]

But make sure it's in Video-game form.

A pen-and-paper RPG doesn't need the bad press, since most overly religeous people think them evil... and that'd be cement.

 

[Shiro, Time Devourer]

Laser Wielding Mummy Jesus? Oh god. You have gone off the deep end. May the Lord bless you with true knowledge of Him, so that you can understand the finer points of the Bible.

 

[MrXarvox]

well yeah, it makes sense. I mean, it's the Vatican. Of course they have a reanimated Jesus with a laser down there guarding their treasure troves.



as for the format... overly religious people would find this evil regardless of whether it were a video game or pen and paper. heck, the very same overly religious people that hate pen and paper games probably hate video games too...

 

[Shiro, Time Devourer]

Why on earth should formal issues like Videogame v. pen-and-paper matter? It's odd that there is this kind of shallowness in people's minds.

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

Lets not forget the battle pope

"if he's not leading mass, he's out kicking ass"

 

[MrXarvox]

Battle Pope is the boss of the secret special level. You get zapped there if you wake the Pope up, 'cause then you have to face his papal fury...


Edit: ooh! and if you beat him, you get the "Buggre Alle Thys" Bible!*




*it's from Terry Pratchett and Niel Gaiman's Good Omens. If you haven't read this incredibly hilarious book, I suggest you high-tail it to your local bookstore or library and do so immediately.

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

nobody wants a piece of this

 

[train]

Great Idea - But what about Cardinals and bishops and altar boys...

The altar boys could beg you to remove them from this place of pedophiles and they could aid in their own escape by helping you...

 

[MrXarvox]

Oh, you can bet on having to fight all levels of clergy. Even the infamous Nuns with Guns and the heavily armored fireball-throwing cardinals.

The altar boy thing is a good idea though, you could hire them to help you by poisoning the holy water, backstabbing priests, or acting as decoys for traps or just plain fighting on your side...just like your average npc mercenary in an rpg.

 

[FoundationOfRancor]

Its like a twisted Megaman.

 

[Thallid Ice Cream Man]

Originally posted by MrXarvox
Edit: ooh! and if you beat him, you get the "Buggre Alle Thys" Bible!*
*it's from Terry Pratchett and Niel Gaiman's Good Omens. If you haven't read this incredibly hilarious book, I suggest you high-tail it to your local bookstore or library and do so immediately.

Interesting that you should mention this... I got Good Omens last Yuletide, read a couple pages in, left it alone for the rest of the time, and spent several hours yesterday (when I hadn't read this post) reading the entire thing through.

You could have Polish - Engrish instructions on the screen. It could be Streets-of-Rage or Shinobi style, with big flashing arrows saying "GO" and beeping and there could be all chant-trance music and Santa Claus could be the midboss.

But who's the main character?

 

[Apollo]

Lol. I'd buy it in a heartbeat. Especially if it was a video game.

 

[MrXarvox]

it's an RPG, so you create a character in a class, but you don't have to be a specific main character.
Hmmm... character classes: there'd have to be a ninja, and probably a tomb raider type character too. and, for self-glorification's sake, a proto-deity class!

 

[theorgg]

Terry Gilliam has picked up the rights to Good Omens.

Filming starts in 2003!!!

WOOOO-HOOOOOO

Who Rules via mirrors?

ttechtarp yrret!

Who doesn't, but still RULES THE DISC?
Terry Pratchett!

 

[MrXarvox]

>gak< Good Omens.. a movie?

i do not know whether to praise or attack this concept.



all i can say is, it better have a narrator, or many of the best jokes will be lost.

 

[theorgg]

Go find an unedited copy of Brazil.
Or mabe Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
How about Twelve Monkeys?
Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas?

actually, havn't seen the last two, but I hear they were done quite well. Look up Terry Gilliam's bio on allmovie.com...

I trust him. If it was some unknown, I'd be skeptical, but he's a GOOD DIRECTOR.

Then again, I didn't trust Peter Jackson to do Lord of the Rings-- and he proved me wrong.(look up his credintials...)

 

[Bob]

If you want overly fanatical "Christians" (fanatics are insults to religion) to hate your game less (seeing as Christian Fanatics abhor everything except reading the Bible and going to church, you can't stop them from hating it) You can have something like:

The Vatican has been taken over by Satanists who want to summon Satan, kill God, and then destroy/conquer the universe. You are a human with no religious beliefs, who packs hella guns for some reason. Saving the Vatican, Christianity, and God aren't as important as saving the world, (and more importantly, yourself)
The Pope has been infected with a demon, and become the almighty battle pope. The Cardinals and Bishops have been brainwashed into mindless killers. (Cardinals have flamethrowers, Bishops have machine guns, and the Battle Pope wields a giant, flaming, pointy cross)
Nuns have rifles, or they just slap you senseless, or beat you with paddles.
The Alter Boys help you, being the only ones not controlled. You are also helped by the Gun-Toting Rabbi, if you can find him in Hells' Dungeons.
To get from level to level, you wil have to raid the Vatican, which is why the game is called "RAID THE VATICAN!"
Finally, you can find bonus characters hidden in Hell, after Vatican City is engulfed near the end of the game. Famous dead people, who either were evil or died in terrible ways.
Battle Pope is a bonus Boss. After you defeat Laser-Mummy-Weilding Jesus, you need to fight the leader of the Satanist Cult.
If you defeat BATTLE POPE, Christian Christianson (The leader of the Satanist Cult), and Laser-weilding Mummy Jesus, The Pope and his clergymen are resurrected and freed, and aid you in fighting Satan before he destroys the World. If you suceed, the world is saved, but Vatican City is completely destroyed, and God is dead.

Weird Huh?

 

[Azreal the Soulmaster]

that would be fine and dandy, if everyone didn't already know that the battle pope wields 2 machine guns and a sword...not to mention hes just a beat stick in general.