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Ward hops on Sophia's back. You should be useful in contending with zoo animals, as you are one of them yourself. Nonsense. I've never been to a zoo in my life. A fascinating detail, to be sure. Now then, talking gnu, vitamin-soaked phantom, ghost, and mutant pika: let us journey to this...

Dorgath removes the key from the chaos warrior's neck. Dorgath and Kelgar move forward to search the room while Carrow stands guard. Dorgath finds a compartment hidden at the base of the altar. Kelgar retrieves an iron key from the fallen orc. Then the eyes of the bronze statue above the altar...

Round 8 -The Power Phase is 5 for this turn. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz heals 3 of his Wounds. -Carrow shoots Chaos Warrior #3. The arrow lodges in the enemy's armor. -Chaos Warrior #1 swipes Throg's head with his blade (5/19). -Chaos Warrior #1 his Throg's torso with another swing (3/19)...

Round 6 -The Power Phase is 1 for this turn. No Unexpected Events during boss fights. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz fully restores his Wounds. -Carrow nails Chaos Warrior #3 with an arrow to the chest (2 damage). -Chaos Warrior #1 thrusts at Throg, but Throg parries. -Chaos Warrior #1 stabs...

Correct. In fact, Dorgath could attach the Runestone of Destruction, level-up, and then get up to three more runes inscribed by a runesmith (because he'd then be Level 2, and he gets two DGR runes per battle-level).

Ward tosses the bicycle wheel into the air and catches it by the spokes.

Let's just open everyone's inventories... Name: Throg G'Nflor Wounds: 7/19 Move: 4 Weapon Skill: 4 Ballistic Skill: 5+ Strength: 3 Toughness: 3(5)(if Sword of Defiance is equipped, then 8) Initiative: 3 Attacks: 1 Damage: 1D6 Pinning: 5+ Luck: 0 Willpower: 2 Gold: 3,418 Items: *Currently...

Dorgath opens his inventory... Name: Dorgath Rockhammer Wounds: 13/15 (at the end of the 5th round of this combat) Move: 4 Weapon Skill: 4 Ballistic Skill: 5+ Strength: 3 Toughness: 4(5) Initiative: 2 Attacks: 1 Damage: 1D6 (+1) Pinning: 5+ Luck: 0 Willpower: 4 Gold: 2,176 Items: *Equipped -...

Ward examines the leadership roll. Don't eat that! I was already satiated on account of that cheeseburger. Calm down. Ward uses homophony to transform Sophia from a flower into flour. Ward uses synecdoche to turn Sophia into bread. Ward uses synecdoche again to turn Sophia into a feast. I...

Round 4 -The Power Phase is 1 for this turn. No Unexpected Events during boss fights. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz restores 1 of his Wounds. -Carrow shoots Chaos Warrior #2 in the chest (2 damage). -Chaos Warrior #1's sword bounces off Throg's helmet, but doesn't actually hurt him. -Chaos...

Round 3 -The Power Phase is 2 for this turn. -Kelgar fails to bless anything. -Dorgath's Lifestone of Ashraz restores 1 of his Wounds. -Carrow fires at Chaos Warrior #1. He misses. -Chaos Warrior #1 stabs Throg in the gut (7/19). -Chaos Warrior #1 attempts to stab Throg, but accidentally drops...

Dorgath is already engaged in melee with the chaos warriors, so he'll have to roll to break away in order to engage #1, who is currently out of his reach. Throg can reach #1, #2, and #3. Dorgath can reach #2, #3, and #4. Kelgar can reach #3 and #4. Carrow isn't yet engaged in melee, so he can...

Round 2 -The power phase is 6 for this turn. -Skabnoze casts Da Krunch. The mighty foot of Gork stomps on Throg for 10 damage (9/19). -Kelgar blesses himself with Vanquish. Kelgar gets an extra attack this turn. -Dorgath throws another firebomb (1 left), burning Skabnoze, Chaos Warrior #1, and...

Ward lowers his gun and uses synonymy to make the gun a pistol, then uses homophony to convert the pistol into a pistil. Finally, Ward uses synecdoche to transform the pistil into a full flower. Ward places the flower into his breast pocket. Sophia has reminded me that she is the senior agent...

A tall, muscular man in black rappels from the ceiling. As he reaches the floor, he lashes out with his fist, shattering the sliding glass door of a cabinet with the word "DONUTS" written across it. I am Agent Ward Bashenthal: Grammar Police. Your establishment was cited for violating the...

Round 1 -The power phase is 5 for this turn. -Skabnoze casts "Mork, Save Uz!" Kelgar resists the orcish magic. -Kelgar blesses Carrow with Vanquish. Carrow gets an extra attack this turn. -Dorgath throws a firebomb (2 more remaining). Skabnoze, Chaos Warrior #1, and Chaos Warrior #2 each take 3...

"I forget, where were we going again?"

Not Barak Varr, but Karak Azgal. Barak Varr is a massive dwarven fortress along the corner of the Black Gulf. And no, I'm not such an expert on Warhammer lore that I knew that. I have a map. Karak Azgal (The City of Jewels), where you are, is a famous ruin a few hundred miles SES of Barak Varr...

The brief trek to the northern end of the corridor is uneventful. The party is positioned by the door (Carrow and Kelgar standing behind Dorgath and Throg, as usual).

Because it's been a while, I thought that it would be a good idea to post the full map of the deep so far. The party are currently in the westernmost room. Secret doors that have been discovered are marked as such and non-secret doors that have yet to be opened have red borders. All other doors...