Welcome!
Okay, enough poo-bah-bee. Here's you room key, strategically loacted next to the empty swimming pool, which is currently being filled with used hypodermic syringes. Also, here's your complimentary copy of "EAT HAM NOW!" magazine, your invitation to go milk a were-rat, and your key to the super secret adminitrative spa, where the midget porn is hidden underneath the drain in the jacuzzi.
Enjoy!
Ransac, cpa trash man