There's this girl...

[Turtlewax Joe]

There's this girl that I care for so much, she's sooooooo perfect for me(no, she's not 'mental' or phisically deformed.)

Bad news: I'm on her 'male friend' list.

you know how people say that it's better to be friends first...well is there any way to get her OUT of friend mode? I would almost say I LOVED this girl. Now you know how important she is to me.

She says that if she was the new girl in school that I would be the one she would like but I'm TOO GOOD OF A FRIEND.

I've tried EVERYTHING! saying romantic stuff, wrote a poem, set a school record to impress her(and acted humble)

I NEED help, girls you guys's opinions are the most important input to me since you have first hand knowledge.

MEN: your senceless imput is welcome too!

THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

 

[NeuroDeus]

Show your true intentions and feelings for her... I did myself and hey, it worked...

 

[Ura]

Well, I'm probably not the best person to offer advice on this considering my own disasterous relationsip record. However I have learned that sometimes being in "friend mode" is permenant until something in the people environment changes around them. This puts them into a different point of view on the idea and can remove the friend mode lock. However the problem is that alot of the time you can't initiate the changes, it has to be something out of your sphere of influence.
Making sense at all?
On the other hand I do know where your coming from. Alot of female friends I have often like to say that "I'm just Nick." It basically means that I'm good for a friend and comfortable to talk with from what I've gathered, but it completely flings me away from the catagory of "datable".
ahh the torture...
hope that helps.

 

[Istanbul]

Stay in friend mode and be patient, and sometimes, it evolves into more. Trust me, it worked for me.

Alternately, simply tell her 'I realize that you count me as a friend, but I'm romantically interested in you. Is that kind of relationship totally out of the question?'. You'd be amazed how much communication can help clear things up.

 

[Spiderman]

If you can also handle the possibility of "things getting weird" if it turns out that your friend doesn't like you romantically, I'd recommend Isty's option. That way you know where you stand and you can turn your attention to another girl you're interested in (or just cool off for a while).

Otherwise, relax and just stay a friend. DO NOT overcompensate and "stalk" her to try to get her to like you.

 

[Bob]

But could you make a post that doesn't involve girls for once?
That's all you talk about anymore...it's kind of getting annoying to me...just call me the grumpy old man...

 

[Salacious Crumb]

well, i believe he originally asked a GIRL to help him out, but it seems none of the CPA girls are nice enough to help him

not to be insensitive or anything ,but since when is the CPA a dating advice hotline?
Oh, and btw, i'm in a similar dilema right now...But, i'm to stupid and optimistic to really care about it.

hoipa

 

[TURD CUTTER!!!]

drug her, bring her into your home, tie her to a chair, and don't release her until she kisses you. It worked for me(j/k)

 

[Hetemti]

Considering the fact that my life is nearly devoid of females, my advice is no doubt invalid, but...

See if she'll play Magic and Rage with you...as well as other joint activities. If you can get close enough, you can extend "friend" to the point where you can open up and ask without too great a risk.


Either that, or I'm wrong. ^_^

 

[K9Archmage]

meh, i think Turdy's way is best.

Hoipa

[K9, or whatever the heck you're called this week, fix your sig or be prepared to face the consequences. It is not acceptable in it's current state - TomB]

 

[Almindhra]

Originally posted by Salacious Crumb
but since when is the CPA a dating advice hotline?

Maybe Magic dudes just have issues with dating...Well, thats my guess anyways......

Joe...I would say wait on it too...Maybe if you show her your sexy side she'll think of you more than just the dependable male friend and maybe something to snatch up...Or, you could just move on...

 

[terzarima]

I'm just glad DÜke hasn't posted stuff here yet... you never know what you'll get.

Honestly? You can't listen to advice from any other person, each girl is completely different and reacts differently than everyother girl. Dating advice, or getting to "go out" advice is really touchy, I say you just tell her your feelings and see what happens.

 

[Jake74]

The exact same thing is happening to me. Last week I told my friend that I have always felt strongly about her and I wanted to date her. She basically said that she didn't feel that way about me and hoped we could just stay friends(btw, that sucks!)
I'm not giving up though... I suggest that you just be her friend, but be a very good friend. Do things for her that you would do for a girlfriend and maybe she will change her mind (buy her things, offer to help her with anything, be there for her when needed, etc) Chances are that nothing will change, but it's worth a shot.

 

[Gizmo]

That sounds like really terrible advice - way to freak her out Jake!
Yeah, she doesn`t want me as her boyfriend so i`m going to act like her boyfriend ANYWAY because she cant stop me. Never gonna work. All you do is piss her off and make her think you`re an obsessive stalker type.

This eventualy happens to everybody, at LEAST once. There is really only a couple of things you can do:
1) Ask her
2) Respect her decision.
If you really like her and she doesn`t like you in the same way then it`s a non-starter. Sorry. True. Move on.

So ask her, and if she says that she wants to just be friends, then just be friends. She may come round to you over time of her own free will, she may not, but I think that is entirely up to her and there is really nothing you can do to force the issue.

 

[Spiderman]

Well, I mostly agree with Gizmo. If she says she wants to be friends, I don't see how buying things for her and offering to help her (depending on what's being helped) is going to "change her mind". It kinda borderlines on stalking/obssessive.

The only thing I agreed with was the third: be there for her when SHE asks. In other words, be passive, not active.

 

[Jake74]

I never said anything about 'stalking' I just meant that you should be there if she needs you and be nice to her... don't push yourself on her. I can see what you didn't understand, I wasn't very clear in what I typed (It looked pretty good last night)
The main point is not to assume that anything will happen, just don't give up hope.

 

[Turtlewax Joe]

1) I appriciate the advice
2) I only buy her stuff on appropriate occasions, and don't spend more than 30$
3) It's kind of hard just to sit back
4) Can anyone explain why a few kisses would mess up a former friendship when trying to turn it into a relationship
5) Guy's think more alike than I thought! Your pointless advice is the same stuff I've thought of! We really are idiots just like girls say, because none of the advice works
6) This the OFF TOPIC area, you CAN talk adout girls and this is only my second thread about girls

 

[Namielus]

Your right just about everyone here is saying the same thing, and that is too bad. From a guys point of view friends are a touchly end of the dating pool, therefore unless someone has been a spectalar failer at it they would be the only one to go to for real advice. But who wants to be known as a complete failure at dating?

Question what don't you just do something guylike/stupid and ask her to a movie and do the strech-to-hug move?

If she tells you to back off, well you got your answer much more cleary and painlessly, as long as your know how to hug a woman...

lol, I'm giving advice... btw I'm that failure I was talking about.

 

[Zadok001]

4. It changes the relationship more than you might think. It's hard to return to friendship after kissing someone - That's why there's such a culture thing about dating your friends being a bad idea.