The Ferrett Speaks (Big Frickin' Deal)

V

Vasco_da_Gama

Guest
Hey folks, Ferrett can't login for obscure computer-sucking reasons, so I'm posting this for him. And this is legit, as he is now my immediately literary supervisor and I can't afford to tick him off ;)

Cheers,
Vasco

-----------------------------------------------------------
(begin Ferrettspeak)

First of all, I'm pissed. People all jump on Sol and Vasco for vote-whoring, and yet they don't pick on me? My God, I'm just as bad as Sol and Vasco and I feel I should be flamed equally. DUke, man... Aren't I good enough to be lambasted publicly? (snif) I'M EVERY BIT AS BIG A JERK!

Secondly, the whole vote-campaigning thing is, and will always be, ridiculous. Sol took a unique ploy by begging for votes at various sites and basically using his "pro" status to leverage out a win -- brilliant.

Coming here and wasting your time was a ploy I wish I had thought of first..(And I MEAN that, because on the second time around everyone who cares will know that public begging is an effective tactic and then we'll wish that Sol
had never been born. The first time, it's funny. The seventeenth time...)

But you know what? The Writer War was never ABOUT the best writer, for God's sake - it's a big popularity contest. Some of the best writers (Vasco, Michelle Bush, Theron Martin, Sean McKeown) got knocked out early for bizarre reasons. It's all about who can get more people to like
you -- and if you ever thought it was really about the best writing, then you're hopelessly naive. As such, the whole concept was ridiculous from the get-go... And I always treated it as such. I was just happy that enough people liked me to get into the Top 8, and thanks to everyone who did vote for me.

As to anyone who said I should have had the "dignity" to stay out of it, they should know darn well that "dignity" is not exactly a concept that I am on speaking terms with. I'm not here to keep some sort of standard of dignity for Writers Everywhere -- I'm here to amuse myself, and hopefully I'm talented enough to amuse you on the way. I don't always succeed. Too bad. Expecting dignity from a man who posts pictures of himself in his underwear is probably NOT a safe bet.

Thirdly, the pro vs. casual sentiment is always there, and always will be. There's a huge difference in attitude and in play. It sucks. You know what? Just frickin' ignore it. If you're having fun, that's all that matters, and screw anybody who isn't. Given the choice between respect
(or, um, dignity) and having a ball, I'm gonna attend that little soiree any day. Who cares?

Signing off,
The Ferrett

The Ferrett
Buyer, Corporate Express Alaska
Phone: (907) 786-5186
Fax: (907) 786-5185
 
T

TeamRegime.com

Guest
Ferretspeak-I LIKE THAT

"a;skdjaskl;djl;askdjneuroiqwoewejqpowelakm a2308n938y3n"

Ok...nice. BUt I have one comment or maybe two.

"Vasco as a great writer?" yeah right. you suck. I think I ve read a total of 2 -3 articles of yours then wrote them off as "junk-filler".

I believe people remember you because of your name.

"VASCO DA GAMA" thats a really cool name. really. what exactly does it mean?

Ferrett...although not quite as cool as the 5 syllable name above..I like it too. Noone picks on F because hes nice. Hes calm, cool and lives in Alaska. Plus --he's an EDITOR...they wield an awful lot o power...
dont EVER mess with an EDITOR...

other than that...I give u biggie ups for posting such stuff that isnt yours (uh-huh)...

VASCO DA GAMA means..."man who likes pot roast in the summertime and likes to read poetry while naked in a bathtub full of ping pong balls (pink) all the while dreaming of becoming a priest who will marry Zvi in about 10.4 years."

Zvi will marry someone with 3 PT wins under their (her) belt.

nicholas knight
www.teamregime.com
 
V

Vasco_da_Gama

Guest
I won't pretend to follow half of that reply...but I can't just ignore it.

1) If ya don't like my stuff, that's cool. I can live with one less hit.

2) Were you implying that post wasn't from the Ferretty One? Trust me, I'm not stupid enough to try and forge him, nor could I do so well. He, however, could probably pass himself off as me fairly easily...hehe.

3) Vasco means several things, among them: he was a Portugese explorer who took the long way to India, and it was the only high-school nickname I had that I liked
 
T

TeamRegime.com

Guest
Tanks for replying, your breaking the barrier, well half the barrier..that your actually taking the time to respond to a non-pro. NOW your my hero (at least till Sopranos comes on next Sunday Night).

One less hit. I think it's worth just a smudge more than one. I think.

The Name. So what IS your real name, if you dont mind me asking. If you do mind...Ill understand. Really.

This is what I found

The discover of the sea route to East Indies; born at Sines, Province of Alemtejo, Portugal, about 1469; died at Cochin, India, 24 December, 1524

But Im 110% serious I love your name. When Im old and dying on my death bed with Salma Hayek lying next to me Im going to udder your name...."Vaassco..(take a deep breath) Da Da Da, ....GAMA..then drop the Snowglobe of a lil house with a magic card inside...it breaks and shatters into a million pieces...then in the Obits its going to say "Nicholas Knights last words..VASCO DA GAMA"...then the DISCOVERY Channel will have a week long story about the discoverer "Vasco Da Gama" and will get a bunch of awards....

Im still a little weary of the F letting you post it...it just doesnt fit his prose...plus I just cant take you seriously. Sorry. Hug and Kisses.

Nicholas Knight
www.teamregime.com
 
V

Vasco_da_Gama

Guest
Dude, you're surprised that I'm replying to a non-Pro?
Then you AIN'T read my stuff.

My name is Steven Vesci.
I play online.
The Pros don't talk to me, cuz I rant on or goof off while they're concentrating on winning and stuff.

(Yes, I like to win too, I just like to do it in a different way than everybody else. And that never works as well as you'd like)

Do some folks here think I'm some snobby Pro or Pro-wannabe? Geez. I gotta talk to my PR guy about that.
 
T

TeamRegime.com

Guest
I HAVE read your stuff...i swear on my lil' SCRYE i have. I think maybe we need to PM this..Im just waiting for Spidey to edit it and kick me off. I dont see the need to tell the whole world (all 1000 of you) how I really feel about your writing...

I WISH I had a PR manager...does a 1900-Psyhic count as one?

NK

Outta Respect.
 
G

Gizmo

Guest
Vasco Da Gama are also a Brazilian soccer team. That`s my input anyway.

Oh, input #2. TeamRegime is in no position to criticise a writer if his writing is worse. He doesn`t write, so gets an automatic 0% on his score and should therefore be about to shut up. Why he`s picking on Vasco when all he wrote was "here is what Ferret wanted me to post" I don`t know.

Personally I`ve never read Vasco`s stuff. Well almost certainly I have but it`s never stuck with me cos I`m crap at remembering names, although I had noticed that somebody was named after a Brazilian Soccer team. In fact I`m fairly sure he`s one of about a dozen people on one of my tech mailing lists but I`d have to check cos the stuff that comes off there is pretty darn random so doesn`t get read very thoroughly.
 
M

Mundungu

Guest
The Ferrett : If that makes you feel better I have been bitching about you being a whore like all others.

On a more serious note, maybe you cant log in because of one of our oldest member signing in as Ferret.

Ed, might this be the reason ?
 
F

fuzzy510

Guest
I give this thread five days before it becomes part of the Battle Arena.
 
Z

Zadok001

Guest
No, if he's using his normal double-T, it shouldn't interefer with his posts. Ferret is gone, as far as I know, and a great loss it has been.

*moment of silence*

As for you, Ferrett my boy, believe me, I would have flamed you - Except your writing was far too obviously sarcastic. Furthermore, I find it more amusing than annoying, at least at this point. As you said, it's not a contest for skilled writing, and I don't really think many people were swayed by his writing. It stopped me from consciously voting, but I wasn't voting on any of it anyways, so no biggy.

So, why didn't I flame you at all?

Well, first, you're my editor. I'm not an idiot. :)

Second, it's just not worth it. The writing was amusing from both of you. Further efforts on the part of writers for popularity will probably be frowned upon - Enough, already. :)
 
A

arhar

Guest
Team Regime, what was that all about? Obviously you didn't read any of the Vasco's articles if you're writing things like that... You're acting like you're drunk. And your initial attack was completely uncalled for, since Vasco is just being a messenger from the Ferrett.
 
B

Baskil

Guest
Originally posted by Vasco_da_Gama
Do some folks here think I'm some snobby Pro or Pro-wannabe? Geez. I gotta talk to my PR guy about that.
[sarcasm]
Didn't you hear? All writers are pros... I mean, that's why they write, right? Because you obviously can't know tech if you're not a pro. ;)
[/sarcasm]
 
V

Vasco_da_Gama

Guest
Baskil, you ARE my PR guy. This is all your fault ;)

Go get me a gig as the spokesman for Unglued II so these guys see that I'm a proper scrub ;)
 
Z

Zadok001

Guest
"Didn't you hear? All writers are pros... I mean, that's why they write, right? Because you obviously can't know tech if you're not a pro."

Zadok001 = Writer + Casual Player's Alliance Founder

Me screwed? :)
 
T

TeamRegime.com

Guest
Looks as if Zadok001 will have to "found" another website and call it. Casual-Players-Writers-Editors-Non-Pro-Alliance
or CPWENPA.

Ill Join.
 

Spiderman

Administrator
Staff member
I have to say I don't really understand TeamRegime's replies either, but I thought Ferrett's post was pretty funny. Obviously this is a guy who laughs at the world in a GOOD way.

And I'm sure Vasca and Zadok and all the other writers poke fun at him, he probably doesn't care and joins in himself. You have to imagine that when they say they don't, it's with a ;) (at least I do).

Someone else had a problem logging onto the CPA; I can't remember who it was but it seems they got past it so it was never clear what the problem was. Hmm...
 
D

DÛke

Guest
...The Ferrett didn't become a "target" because, like I said, his writing, and THAT article on the front page was VERY appealing - to me anyway. If you talk to me a lot, you'll see that I don't even VISIT StarCity at all, except when there's a Ferrett article, notice, or whatever...I just love the style, and the humor injected into each sentence...he's a master.

It's not that he wasnt good enough, it's just that he was TOO good. :)

Zadok, you're right next to Ferret - as a writer. Yes, you're casual...and that's what I like...

...and THAT'S how, ladies and gentlemen, you appeal to others...

I don't like a lot of things, and at times, I'm VERY (disturbingly) strict about my favoite things, but once I choose, I CHOOSE...and I've chosen...it wasn't easy, but it was obvious.

You appeal, and I like...

You TRY to appeal, and...

[God help them]

Thank you. :)
 
T

The Magic Jackal

Guest
LOL, Vasco, so this is where' you've been. Right before regionals too...

The pros don't like you? heh, I wonder why...The pros don't seem to like a lot of people. I get linked on Meridian Magic though, so I guess Alex S. is a good guy (although those regional decks were really horrible).

So what is the absolute best writer?????

It takes a lot to be a good writer. They have to A) have issues, B) know a lot about the game, C) be interesting/entertaining, and d) have medium sized articles.
So who meets all those requirements? Carl Jarrel at Star city.

Pros who write might know more about the game than anyone else, but they are quite boring. The don't have issues, or maybe they do, but they don't share them.

Another great writer is our very own David Suttecliffe (Gizmo). He writes at Star City. It is really good stuff too, but unfortunatly, he doesn't put out much stuff. I'm fairly confident that David could easily be a good pro player if could devote a lot of time to the game. I've never seen him play, so maybe he's just not a great player, in which case I'm sure he could be one of the elite deck builders.

If he's anything like me, he probably doesn't have a lot of time to write articles. My articles usually get delayed due to school work. Damn school...It always ruins everything.

Jordan Volz
Team Hacked
 
T

terzarima

Guest
For some odd reason both of the articles I've sent into starcitygames don't get put on the site, and I haven't even got a reply saying they got it. Ferrett, how could you do this to me? But am I a pro? I wish... ...but sadly, all my tech requires cards, which sadly, I don't have, nor really care enough to spend ALL my money on magic :)

But, my articles aren't the best anyway, and they lack the ferritish and friggin' humor.
 
F

FrigginRizzo

Guest
First off, the post was from The Ferrett; he sent a copy to me and Vasco asking one of us to post it, but Vasco snatched it up first.

Secondly, if there is a harder working writer on The Net besides Vasco, it's The Ferrett. So trashing Vasco's stuff really doesn't take into consideration the insane efforts he's put in during the last few months; that dude is everywhere, now he's a big boy at Star City, so apparently The Ferrett doesn't think his stuff sucks.

Also, The Ferrett does take stuff seriously at times. While he can make jokes at his own expense, he is the real friggin' deal, chiefs, and takes himself just seriously enough to realize that life ain't all gravy and biscuits, but it does go down with a big ol' forty dawg.

As for the pros not liking Vasco, get in line pal. The pro's I've met have been pretty cool, but there are a number of them that would like to bend me over and impale me with a deckbox (Darwin anyone?); it comes with the territory.

There are no casuals. There are no pros. There are just Magic players.

Deal with it.

John Friggin'Rizzo
 
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