Take JESUS into your heart and soul!

Will you cast out this "game" and follow the LORD?

  • Yes! I will give up SATAN's game and follow Jesus!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I am not yet convinced. Satan's power over mortal man is strong.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • My thoughts have been clouded by the DEVIL'S lies, and I think it is a simple game, nothing more.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • LUCIFER is my lord and master! I spit upon the carpenter and stand by Satan's left hand!

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
D

Daggertooth

Guest
That is true. I just figured that if you did believe in a God you'd be more respectful. My bad. I guess I shouldn't be judging so fast.

I actually feel really taken in. I guess I am a bit too trusting. I figured this post was genuine. Which would explain why I'm actually pissed of and very insulted right now.


Daggertooth
 
Z

Zadok001

Guest
I do consider this spammish. It's not on-topic, you don't actually MEAN anything by posting it, and it's not overly funny, at least not in my opinion. Leaving open, however.

It should be noted that posts like this can be considered insulting to any Catholics who may frequent our pages. Regardless of your own religion, or lack thereof, posting in a manner that imitates or satirizes the Catholic religion is no better than chattering on about gays or Nazis. You are, in essence, injuring the reputation of the Catholic church, which, honestly, is flaming. So, I consider this post a flame as well.

If you're going to attempt humor, please, please, please, say so. And try to keep it from being offensive to ANYONE. I don't care if you don't have a religion. Still a Bad Thing(tm).
 
N

NeuroDeus

Guest
So Carpenter -> St. Joseph (Jesus Earth Father) was a carpenter and so was Jesus at first...

If this is a joke... sorry I flared and flamed up so much... But I hate Fanatics...
 
M

Mundungu

Guest
Well, I was hoping it was a joke but I know of a woman who does not let her son play magic or other games because of the bad influence and horrifying pictures.

I think he is 15 or so.

THEY are out there, and that is no joke.
 
C

Chaos Turtle

Guest
I figured it was a joke, and even a bit funny, but I can see why some folks might be offended by it.

Heh...

Anyways, all in favor of moving this to Off-Topic?

AYE

All opposed...

...

Without objection, so ordered.
 
H

Hetemti

Guest
[mst3000]
Repent all ye Sinners!
Reprint all ye Sengirs!
Listen to my word, which is the WORD OF GOD!
It sez Preacer_Man over there in the corner...

Repent all ye hapless fools, tempted and tricked by the LORD OF LIES!
I hate William Golding for that book...
Listen to my word and take it into your heart, so that you may have EVER-LASTING LIFE!
Not this bit...the oldest recorded life was that of a Native American guy at 146.

You think the "GAME" you play is an innocent passtime?
You think this "BOOK" you thump is the word of God?

Know ye this!!!
The spell checker's at the bottom.

SATAN works in subtle ways. He works in mischevious ways!
Like how my Korean Mountains in my R/W comingled with the Chinese ones in my R/G?

With every card you hoard like a rich man hoards gold!
...finish your sentence.
With every caress of the EVIL symbols that mark these WITCHES CARDS!
You need grammar help.
With every gaze you set upon the depictions of LUCIFER'S evil MINIONS!
So, Serra Angel is Satan's bitch?

...you are dragged one inch closer to the foul never-ending fires of HELL!
Not that bad, could be Fires of Yavamaya. That'd suck.

You do not believe me?
I don't even KNOW you.
Has you mind been corupted enough already that you think this a harmless passtime?
...guess not. If I was corrupted enough, I'd spam God's message boards with pro-Magic propaganda.

Then consider this!

In my congregation, there once was a boy we will call "Jimmy".
You call him Jimmy, I'm callin' him Timmy.
He was a good boy, always attentive in Sunday(blessed be that holy day)(AMEN!)School. He came to Worship So, Timmy's playin' white. services every week with his Father and Mother, and alway sang his best when there was a hymn to Tourach.

Then, one day, Jimmy met another boy we will call Bobby. I'm callin' him Jimmy. Bobby was not a good boy, and did not go to church. Instead, he would stay at home and play a "game" called Magic: the gathering all day. (the gathering? yes, SATAN gathering his new minions!) Completely different from God's Congregations...

Bobby taught Jimmy this game and gave him a pack of cards very much like an evil TAROT deck! Tarot cards aren't evil...it's that Madame Cleo that must be stopped!

Soon, Jimmy stopped going to church, and began "hanging out" with Bobby's other friends at a "game shop". Shouldn't the word "firends" be enquoted too?

Not even Jimmy's parents could persuede him to give up this "game" and come back to the flock, even though we prayed on it again and again. ? So you prayed he wouldn't? You make no sence.

When one day I came to Jimmy's house to speak with him, he spat venom at me and hissed! That's just his snake impression. It's cool at parites. Then I knew his soul was in the black claws of SATAN! Ha! We all know that Satan paints his chartruse.

GOD allmighty himself then intervined! He rained fire upn the "game shop", cleansing the souls of Jimmy, Bobby and all the rest of SATAN's new servants. I'll bet the weatherman caught hell for not predicting that one.

Jimmy's parents were in grief, of coarse, ...like sandpaper? but I counselled them by saying that it was GOD'S divine will, and that Jimmy's soul was now pure. Sure, he was roasted, GOD roasted, to a golden brown by the aforementioned raining fire, but the souls of his shoes became PURE!!!

Take this sad but true story to heart! Sad? Yeah, I'm cryin' a river.

Give up this game before it is too late! Surrender to dispair!

Don't become like young Jimmy and give your soul over to LUCIFER! Give? Nah, but perhaps I could rent him my soul...say, a month for a P9 set...

Take JESUS and his divine FATHER into your hearts and souls!
...OR THEY'LL KILL YOU!!!

[/mst3000]

I laugh in your general direction. You're just pissy cuz they didn't reprint Preacher after The Dark.

Avant and quit mine sight, you foul imp of a pest!
 
P

Preacher_Man

Guest
See, now that was funny.

One thing I don't get though...

I never mentioned Catholosism at all.
Where did you get the idea I was making fun of Catholics?

If anyhting, I'm making fun of Southern Baptists.

Oh well.

Next time, perhaps I'll post as a Satanic priest trying to get everyone to give up the game Magic for the real thing.
 
B

Bob

Guest
I AM BOBBY!!!

BWA HA HAAAA!!!!!!!

*Hisses and spits acid, then starts screaming, and yelling "BURN!!!"*
 
I

Istanbul

Guest
FOOL!!!

You dare to preach to my kine, worshipper of the weak?! You shall drown in a river of blood, along with all the other pathetic cattle who dare kneel at the feet of the feeble forces of good!

When my power is felt upon this earth, those who stood against me and my kin shall quake and tremble in fear, and find themselves awash in a sea of agony! Beware...the end times are upon you! Witness the twelve signs, as foretold by my minion, Richard Garfield!

1. Devices shall be worshipped before those that live.
2. A preacher shall make an appearance in the forces of evil.
3. Beasts may go by many seemings, and yet remain the same.
4. The flowers that spring forth from corpses shall be instrumental in the slaying of the living.
5. The power of the cursed shall grow strong, and combine with the weakest minions of evil to slay all who stand before them.
6. The toils of darkness shall beget their own 'Bible', a story that grows ever longer.
7. The shapeshifters shall rule the skies, and destroy all who dare stand against them.
8. A great devouring beast shall lay waste to all that stand before it, and survive all attempts to defeat it.
9. Even the weakest of the minions of evil shall prove impossible to destroy.
10. The winds of darkness will blow strongly, with power never before seen.
11. The kine shall rejoice at the emergence of the power of evil, welcoming the invasion of the forces of darkness.
12. Even within the most basic of the works of darkness, power shall shine forth upon those fortunate enough to receive the favor of evil.

The twelve signs have come to pass! My time is at hand! Kneel, and plead for your soul...beg for your 'God' to save you, and let those words ring within your ears throughout time immemorial!
 
B

Baskil

Guest
Originally posted by Zadok001
If you're going to attempt humor, please, please, please, say so. And try to keep it from being offensive to ANYONE. I don't care if you don't have a religion. Still a Bad Thing(tm).
:rolleyes: Whatever. If he had stated in the beginning that this was humor... it wouldn't be humorous. See, people are just way too freakin uptight these days. So, you're Catholic, or whatever. So what? Most humor is derived from truth and fact. You're offended by the truth?

My advice to people who were offended by this post?

Grow Up. Get some thicker skins. Life is way to f'n short to be offended.
 
A

Apollo

Guest
Boy, I'm sorry I missed the beginning of this. This was quite obviously a joke, and one making fun of those who think the game is satanic. After reading the replies, I guess I can see how someone might interpret this the wrong way. But I thought it was funny.

And Hetemti, that was great.:)
 
T

terzarima

Guest
For thte first 10 posts, this thing scared me!!! The Jehova's Witnesses Are going to come and slowly burn down every card shop in Canada (I know where they are based... its only about a 2.5 hour drive away from me.. AHH) and they are going to slowly rip up my cards as a gift to their cultish god (hey... wait... that's my god too...) But hey!! I like tarot cards too!! When I finally by a pack, my unholy wrath will be fullfilled!!!

Hehehe, I honestly am glad that this is a joke. Preacher_man, You scared me!!!
 
D

Daggertooth

Guest
:( *sigh*

It actually never occurred to me that this could be a joke. I live in an area where many people actually believe magic is evil. Cards have quite literally been burned, thrown out, and banned from houses. So I took it very seriously.

This area I live in also has a strong respect for others. nobody would ever think of joking like this. Thus I wasn't expecting it.

I wasn't offended by the content, Just the fact that I was played the fool. :(



Daggertooth
 
G

Gerode

Guest
I do know people who are not allowed to play by their parents, and I have, on a few occasions, have heard them directly referred to as evil. At first I thought this could have been serious. The Bobby/Jimmy story should have given the joke away, though. And wouldn't a fanatic be too afraid to visit these boards, where MINIONS of SATAN gather to cast EVIL SPELLS?
 
X

xreemer

Guest
It is actually quite easy to be tripped up by that Jimmy/Timmy story. Who was to say he wasn't speaking metaphorically - it may have gone out of business or been mobbed by other self-righteous fanatics and he was just exagerating.

Daggertooth : I sure hope you weren't hinting that I don't touch black cards. Must I remind you that my sig. comes from a seventh howl from beyond? I just don't like the way black works, too many sacrifices. I'd rather run someone down with green or burn them with red.
 
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